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toxic_cornSeries: Kristy and The Doctor
Title: Chapter Four - Back to the Eighties
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toxic_corn and nutmeg610
Rating: R because Kristy can be a bit of a foulmouth.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Ann M. Martin, Scholastic Books, and the BBC. Sometimes ABC even. And NBC. Okay, practically no one is ours, okay? We aren't collecting any money so pretty please don't sue? We're both broke college students.
Summary: Kristy Thomas has been doing well since her days as president of the Babysitters Club. She's about to graduate from the University of Connecticut and her best friend's finacee can get her a place in the LAPD. It looks like her future is set until a strange man in a magic blue box shows up and changes everything...
Authors' Note: Yet another pairing in the crack series. We found the idea of The Doctor having to put up with the blunt, bossy Kristy to be funny and from there the story grew. If you think that now we are officially certifiable, you're most likely right. This follows the other stories in the crack series: Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne and Wanna Get It On, Dawn?
Catch up on earlier chapters at the organizational post.
Our old friends appear in this chapter, too! :)
Chapter Four - Back to the Eighties
We haven't really been talking. Every time we try it turns into a horrible fight. I need a break. Kevin and Dawn are his friends too and I hate to put them in the middle. Can you guys come get me? Maybe I can tag along for a couple of days? I won't be any trouble.
- email from Mary Anne Shelten to Kristy Thomas
Chad Shelten slammed his car door and reluctantly walked up the driveway. The last two weeks had been torture. He and Mary Anne had gotten into plenty of disagreements but they had never gone on this long. When he came home, he was no longer greeted by her leaping up into his arms or finding her in her office and getting a kiss and a hello. It'd been so long since she smiled at him.
The front door was locked. Swearing softly under his breath, Chad fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. She was probably over at Dawn's. She'd been doing that more and more lately, coming home late and sleeping in the guest room to avoid him.
Since all of their conversations lately collapsed into screaming fights, they'd both just given up. Mary Anne had taken to leaving notes for him if she needed to tell him something.
C - You're running low on socks and you're going to need to do a load of laundry. Here's some instructions on how to use the washer/dryer... - MA
C - I'll be spending the weekend with Dawn. I'm taking Tigger with me so don't worry about feeding him. - MA
So he went into the kitchen to warily check the fridge for his usual note. And there it was, tucked under a magnet. Snorting, he took it down and scanned the lines. By the end, his hands were shaking.
Chad - I've gone with Kristy and The Doctor. I don't know how long I'll be gone, maybe just a few days. I need some time to think. - Mary Anne
~*~
"So where are we going?" Mary Anne asked as Kristy dug through a trunk of clothing. She'd just gotten off the phone with Dawn and her work, making sure they knew she was going to be gone a few days.
"Not where; when." Kristy pulled out a Boy Toy belt and grinned. "Remember how much we liked going to the 80s dances at school? Well, we're going to the real 80s. It's just the thing to cheer you up."
Mary Anne giggled. "Are you serious?"
Kristy held up a sweatshirt with the neckline cut out. "Does this look like I'm serious?"
~*~
Taking turns with The Doctor's psychic paper, they all got drinks at the bar and noted their surroundings. Saturday night in Los Angeles 1986 wasn't all that different from any other time period. At first, Kristy thought this would disappoint Mary Anne but then some fantastically 80's woman would walk by with teased hair and blue eye shadow and they'd both collapse into giggles only to be chastised by The Doctor.
"Your own clothing will go out of style given time," he said, frowning at them.
Kristy nudged him, saying quietly, "She's smiling for once. Don't ruin it."
"I think I'm going to get another drink." Mary Anne stood up and The Doctor handed her the psychic paper in case she needed ID.
Keeping a careful watch on Mary Anne, Kristy noticed a large, blonde man bumble over to her, a look of drunken intent on his face. She frowned at him, wondering if she'd need to step in to defend Mary Anne's honor when she recognized him.
"No way," she whispered, in shock.
~*~
Mary Anne was waiting patiently for her drink when a drunken man nudged her, slurring, "Are those space pants? Cuz I can see myself in them."
Disgusted, she looked at the man, ready to tell him off. He was wearing an electric blue-tshirt, white jacket with the sleeves scrunched up, white pants, and had a shock of blonde hair. "I'm not-" She looked into his face and her jaw dropped. "Chad?! What did you do to your hair?!"
"You know me?" A foolish grin spread across his face. "Course. Everybody knows me. 'm Chad Sheeeeelten."
"Uh huh." Mary Anne could hardly believe it. She'd never known Chad was this big of a drinker. She'd seen him get a little tipsy, yes, but this was awful. He could hardly stand upright, his strong arm wrapped around the bar top being the only thing keeping him from sprawling across the dirty floor.
"What're ya drinkin'? Chad asked and slapped the bar top. "Bar god! 'Nother drink for the sexy lady and twooo more for me!"
Mary Anne shook her head at the bartender, who looked like he wasn't going to serve Chad, anyway. "You've had enough," she said, firmly. "Come on, I'm taking you home."
"That's an aweeeesome idea," Chad said, stumbling closer to her to loop his arm around her shoulders. "Wanna show you my place."
"Right." Mary Anne realized she didn't know where he lived so she reached into his back pocket for his wallet.
"Oooo, is that your hand on my ass on are you just happy to see me?" Chad grinned at her.
She sighed. Drunk people were so irritating. "I just need to see your license; don't get excited, okay?" She pulled out the little plastic square and checked the address after noting with relief that at the time he'd had his photo taken, he didn't have the bleach in his hair. "Okay, I drive by this on the way to work everyday, no problem."
"I'll bet your hair's reaaaaaally soft." Chad petted her hair clumsily.
"Yeah, I use conditioner," Mary Anne said, leading him out of the bar.
~*~
"A paradox is bad, right?" Kristy said, watching Mary Anne leave with Chad.
"Right," The Doctor agreed.
"So, um. It'd be pretty bad if Mary Anne met Chad here, right?"
"Yes, very bad."
"So then it's really bad that she just walked out the door with him."
For a moment, The Doctor didn't respond. Then his eyes got bigger and bigger and his mouth got smaller and smaller and Kristy wanted to hide under the table to hide from the explosion that was to come.
"What part of 'Stay near the TARDIS' don't you women understand?!"
Bristling at his choice of words and tone, Kristy sarcastically suggested, "I think we get distracted by your inherent sexiness."
The Doctor's fury shifted to intrigue. "Really? So you girls find me... foxy do you? I get that a lot." He snapped out of his little moment and went right back to the problem at hand. "Right. Time to get your friend away from her future husband before she disrupts the timeline and their future children are never born."
"How does that disrupt the timeline? Wouldn't he still be with her later because he remembers her? Maybe that's why they got together in the first place." As soon as she said it, she knew she was wrong: There she was, thinking of time as a loop again, that there was no changing the past or future because everything was meant to be. Time Lord science worked a bit more differently than that.
"No, she said they got together because he pulled her over for speeding and later returned her drug addicted boyfriend's cell phone while she was at his place," The Doctor corrected her. "Keep up now. Think about it; if he remembers her in the future, won't he think it's a bit odd that she hasn't aged a day in twenty years? It'd be enough to send him screaming for the hills. That, or he'd think she was Mary Anne's daughter, and that's just all kinds of not right."
"Can't you like, use your sonic screwdriver and erase his memory?" Kristy asked, grasping at straws.
"It's not a magic wand. I can't just wave it and make everything better. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn't. It's impolite to erase people's memories."
Kristy looked at him like he was crazy, wondering about his priorities. "Imp-! But if it makes the timeline crash in on itself then shouldn't manners take a backseat?!"
"Now, now," The Doctor chided. "There's always room for manners. And I said 'even if I could,' which means I can't. My screwdriver unlocks doors, scans, and does other useful things. However, it is not a mind eraser, so erase that idea from your mind."
"Fine," Kristy said, sighing heavily. "Maybe she gave him a fake name? And he seemed pretty drunk so maybe he won't remember this at all. Or if he does, he'll think she's like, Debbie or someone."
"Why Debbie?" The Doctor asked. "Why is it always Debbie, or... or Mindy or something? It's never Augusta or Matilda, is it?"
Kristy made a face. "Because those are old lady names."
"Come now, a lot of English queens were named Matilda... granted that was in the 10th and 11th centuries, but uh... what were we discussing again? It's so hard to keep track."
"Mary Anne just left with her future husband," Kristy reminded him.
"Right. I think I have a plan. Come along." The Doctor stood up and led the way out of the bar, running to the TARDIS with Kristy at his heels.
~*~
While Kristy and The Doctor bickered inside, Mary Anne supported Chad as best as she could while scanning the parking lot. "Where's your car, Chad?"
"Over there," he said, gesturing vaguely to the left.
Grumbling, Mary Anne went left, hauling Chad's considerable bulk along. He wasn't quite as muscular as he'd be in his forties but he was still a big boy. A thought struck her as she hauled him along and her face brightened. "Hey, wait! I remember you telling me about an old Camaro of yours you loved like a child. And here it is!" She recognized it from the framed photo he kept in his sock drawer. He'd been so embarrassed when she'd found it...
Young, drunk Chad frowned. "We just met, hot stuff. When'd I mention my girl here?"
"Uh, you're drunk and don't remember. Keys?" Mary Anne held her hand out expectantly.
"D minor. Pffft!" Chad cackled. "Keys! Get it?"
Mary Anne barely managed not to roll her eyes. "Yes, I get it. That's very funny. But will you give me your car keys?"
"Oh, umm... they're in my front pocket." Chad winked at her. "You can get them for me."
Her eyes flashed dangerously. "How about you get them for me and I don't dump you in a gutter someplace?"
He pouted at her harsh tone. "Geez, calm down. I'll get them." He fumbled in his pocket and then held them in front of her face, jangling them. When she reached out for them, he stumbled forward, pinning her against the car.
"Eeep!" she managed under the heavy weight pressing against her.
"Shit, sorry. I usually don't have a balance problem." He pulled back a little as he snickered, giving her room to breathe while still keeping her pinned in place. His snickers stopped when he looked into her face. "But damn, you're beautiful," he said, giving her a silly grin.
She blushed furiously and started pushing at his chest, trying to get him to move. "Th-thank you."
"I mean it," he insisted and stumbled back a little so she could unlock the car door. "I'm not jus' saying that to try and get laid." He quickly added. "I mean, if you wanna have sex, I'm all for it, but it was a real compliment, not one of those fakey ones some people give."
Mary Anne got the door open. "I know. Thank you. Get in, Chad." She walked around the car to get to the driver's side, happy to put some distance between them.
Chad flopped into the car and knocked his head off the roof with a sickening smack.
Gasping, Mary Anne got into the driver's side and touched his shoulder as he groaned in pain. "Baby, are you okay?!"
"Baby? Aww, you got a nickname for me." Chad rubbed his head and leaned toward her. "Am I bleeding?"
She gently took his head in her hands and looked him over. "No, but you're going to have a good-sized goose egg. Once we get home I'll get some ice for you."
He looked at her adoringly, an expression she hadn't seen on his face for what felt like a long time. "Thanks, sweetheart."
Mary Anne's breath caught at the combination of the look and endearment. But then she had to remind herself that this wasn't her husband. At least not yet. She let go of his head and turned to the steering wheel, putting the key in the ignition. "Buckle up, Chad."
"Okay." It took him a few attempts but he finally got it in the end.
"Good boy," she said distractedly as she steered them out of the parking lot.
~*~
Kristy followed The Doctor into the TARDIS as he excitedly starting pulling different levers and turning cogs. "If we simply trace the frequency of her mobile phone, we can find out where she and Shelten are heading, then we can follow them and-"
"Or uh, I can call her." Kristy waved her cellphone to him.
The Doctor paused in the middle of his frenzied action. "That could work too..."
"If it doesn't, we'll go with your more complicated plan," Kristy promised him.
"Right, and was very complicated and exciting too," he said, flipping switches to avoid looking at her.
"Of course." Kristy dialed the number and waited a few moments before hanging up with a sigh. "She has her phone turned off."
"Alright!" Off of Kristy's look, he cleared his throat. "Uh, I mean now we can use the frequency of her mobile to triangulate her position within the city."
"Can you do that if the phone is turned off?"
The Doctor took a deep breath. "Ah." He frowned. "Okay, new plan."
"Wait for her to call us? Or... we can go out and have some fun." Kristy ran to the TARDIS doors and threw them open. "Wang Chung Tonight" came pouring in from the bar and she started bouncing up and down, looking like a dork.
"I don't think you realize the seriousness of the situation here." The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave her a stern look.
Kristy recognized that look of his and closed the TARDIS doors again. "I don't think anything is going to happen. Mary Anne would consider this cheating and she'd never cheat on Chad in a million years, not even with Chad." She paused to consider that a moment, boggling over what her life had become. "Besides, he was falling down drunk and in no condition to get sexed up. Oooooh, is that song I Want Your Sex released yet? That would be a fun one for karaoke."
She smiled a little in victory as he sighed, giving up. "She better pray that he doesn't remember anything in the morning, or she may return home to find that Chad isn't her husband."
"Well, what else are we supposed to do?" Kristy asked, not liking the feeling of powerlessness.
"There's nothing we can do except hope she's not that memorable. Now, we can do a bit of exploring and wait for her call. And no, that George Michael song didn't come out until 1987."
Well, Kristy had two choices. Either she could worry about her friend all night while brainstorming more and more pointless schemes, or she could try to have a little fun and put some trust in Mary Anne to do the right thing. It wasn't too difficult of a choice.
"So can we Wang Chung tonight??" she asked, eagerly.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yes, we can."
Miffed, Kristy said, "Well, if you're going to be a crab, you can stay here while I go have fun."
Striding past her and out the doors, The Doctor said, "You're not the boss of me."
Kristy grinned, following after him, and was sure to shut the door behind her. Running up along side him, she grabbed the ends of his coat and threw it up over his head, making him squawk in indignation. "Yes huh!"
"Excuse me?" He struggled with the coat and put it back down.
"You heard me, Doctor. Yes. Huh." Giggling and having fun, Kristy led the way back to the bar as Wang Chung ended and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" came on next. "I love this song!!"
"It is quite appropriate for you," The Doctor noted as she started dancing right there, imitating Cyndi Lauper's moves from the music video. He couldn't help but smile in amusement at her antics.
"Come on and dance with me." Kristy crooked her finger at him, pushing the bar door open.
"I didn't take you for the clubbing type."
"I wasn't but I did a little in college. It was mostly fun except when barfy guys would hit on me but I have you here to play Boyfriend so nothing like that's going to happen."
"Boyfriend?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you think you should ask me before you assume I'll play your boyfriend?"
Kristy blushed a little. "Sorry, I just assumed. Doctor, will you play my boyfriend so barfy guys won't hit on me?"
"Sure, why not?"
Smiling, Kristy took his hand and pulled him inside. They wound their way around groups of people to the dance floor. "Well, come on then. Let's dance."
"Dance? I'm not sure I can dance to this type of music."
Looking around the room at all the awkward flailing that passed for dancing in the 1980s, Kristy laughed. "I don't think anyone can. Just copy me."
"Very well." The Doctor waited a moment for Kristy to move and once she started pogo-ing, he imitated her, making her laugh and he grinned back at her in response.
~*~
"Hey, what's that?" Chad said suddenly, leaning forward and almost knocking his head on the windshield.
"Careful!" Keeping her eyes on the road, Mary Anne pushed him back into his seat. "What's what?"
"On your finger." Driving under another streetlight, the illumination reflected off of her wedding ring. Chad looked disappointed. "You're married."
"I- I am. Yes."
"So... this means you're not gonna sleep with me, huh?"
"Even if I wasn't married, I still wouldn't. You wouldn't remember a thing and that'd be an awkward morning after." The thought of Chad looking at her with no trace of recognition in his eyes gave her a little shiver of horror.
"Pfffft, well yeah but... but you're a tease!" Chad's eyes flashed. "You called me baby and grabbed my ass and everything!"
Mary Anne looked at him with big, wounded eyes. "I'm not a tease!"
"Yeah you are! Why you leading me on?" Chad demanded.
"I'm not!" Mary Anne protested, voice shaking. So much for her break from arguing with Chad; even the younger version found fault with her. "I've only ever said I would take you home because you're drunk and can hardly stand up. I in no way implied that I was going to sleep with you."
He pointed his finger at her angrily. "You called me baby! I thought you wanted me, so excuse me all to hell!"
"You're always going to be mean, aren't you?" Mary Anne asked, voice trembling. They'd reached a red light and she buried her face in her hands to weep, exhausted by the last few weeks.
"I-I'm not being mean! Holy shit, don't cry!" Chad exclaimed, alarmed. "I'm sorry; I'm just, I got confused. I'm drunk and drunks say all sorts of stupid things." He hesitated before setting his hand on her back to comfort her. "Sorry. You're just being nice to me, and I ruined everything. I always do that."
She glanced over at him and saw how apologetic he was. "I-I normally wouldn't cry over something like this, I've just... had a bad time these last few weeks." The light turned green and she hastily wiped her eyes and got going before someone could honk at her impatiently.
"How come?"
Laughing, she shook her head. "You don't wanna hear about my problems."
Chad set his head back against the headrest and winced at the lump forming there. "Sure I do. I wanna help, since it's my fault you're crying."
"It's just... my husband really let me down recently. He hurt someone very close to me and.... he hasn't been sorry. We haven't been speaking and-" She let out a soft sob. "I miss him but at the same time I just can't stand to look at him. I'm not even sure I wanna be married to him anymore..."
"That sucks," Chad said, sitting up. "Did he do it on purpose or was it an accident? I know I never apologize for accidental stuff I do... except the making you cry part. That was an accident, but I'm sorry."
"Oh, he did it on purpose. He... he probably thinks he did the right thing but he's just willfully not seeing the damage he caused. It's so frustrating and he makes me feel like I'm over-reacting by-" She cut a quick glance at him. "You don't have to listen to this."
"I know. I want to listen. Look, sometimes... people get caught up in wanting to do the right thing that they don't realize all the other stuff they're doing at the same time. I mean, I don't want to take his side, it's just that I'm kinda like that too. I'm training to be a cop, because I want to help people, and catch the criminals and all that stuff. And I'm so focused on that, that other things are... slipping through the cracks I guess." He shrugged. "Do you think that's what's happening with him? Or is he just an asshole and I should go beat the crap out of him for you?"
His hopeful smile made her laugh as she thought about what he said. "That's... you're right, I'll bet that's what's going on." She smiled at him brightly and added, "Thank you, Chad. But no, don't beat him up please. You'll only hurt yourself, too."
Chad frowned. "Well ok, but I'll bet I can take him. I'm a pretty big guy."
The mental image of young, blonde Chad and her Chad grappling with one another sent her into a giggling fit. Chad laughed along with her. "What?"
"Nothing." She patted his knee affectionately. "You'll see."
Surprisingly, he accepted that. "Ok. So do you feel better?"
"I feel much better." She gave him another sweet smile.
"Woo!" Chad smacked the roof of the car. "I saved a marriage! Maybe I should be, like a marriage counselor or something!"
"Nahhh, that's lame. It's much sexier to chase bad guys." Mary Anne smirked to herself.
"Yeah, that's true. Get to carry a gun... beat up drug dealers... it's gonna be so cool," Chad enthused.
Mary Anne started giggling again and said to herself, "God you were so cute."
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, baby," she said before realizing what she was saying. "Chad. Chad!"
He sighed. "You're doing it again."
She sighed, too. "I'm sorry. But hey, here we are at your apartment!"
They pulled up to the curb and Mary Anne helped him out of the car to make sure he didn't smack his head on the roof again. Once he was out of the car, she was back to supporting his weight as best she could.
"Okay, let's get you inside. Is the key for this door on the ring?" Mary Anne jingled the keys in her hand.
"Yup, the brass one." Chad wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're so tiny!"
She found the key, not really paying attention to what he was saying. "Uh huh, I always have been." She led him up the short flight of stairs leading into his building and got the door open. "Which apartment is yours again?"
"Uhh, it's 4F. Fourth floor."
"Okay. Elevator time. Just hold it together, baby, okay?" She hit the button and the doors opened automatically.
"Stop callin' me that, or I'll start kissin' you," he said as she lugged him inside the elevator.
Pushing the 4 button, she smiled. "Some things never change."
Chad squinted under the elevator's bright light and rubbed his face tiredly. "What's your name again? I feel bad I forgot."
"I never actually told you, so you never forgot it. I'm Ma- um. Ginger."
He chuckled. "That's cute. Too bad you aren't a redhead. It'd really fit."
Mary Anne giggled. "Maybe I'll dye my hair for you." With a ding the elevator reached the fourth floor and the doors slid open.
"Nah, don't bother. Your husband might not like it, and I'll never see you again anyways." He sounded genuinely sad as she helped him out of the elevator and down the hall.
"Come on, baby, almost there," she said quietly, and just like that they were in front of his door.
Chad pulled away and turned toward her, stooping down a little to kiss her softly and a little sloppily. "Said stop it with the 'baby.'"
It had been so long since she'd been kissed by Chad. She started to sway toward him. "Can't help it. You're my baby."
He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're sweet," he said, kissing her again. "You're a sweetheart."
"I'm your sweetheart," Mary Anne promised. "Forever."
A boyish smile spread across his face and he grabbed the doorknob, giving it a push. "Damn, locked. Can you let us in?"
"Oh, right. Okay. Which key?" she asked, sifting through the keys on the ring.
Chad put his hand over hers, helping her find the key. "This one."
"Thanks." She unlocked the door and led him inside. "Where's your bedroom?"
"The open door, straight ahead." He nodded and the action sent him stumbling but he managed to catch himself before he hit the ground.
Mary Anne gripped him around his waist, helping him to his room. "Poor Chad. You have to stop doing this to yourself."
"I can't help it. I don't mean to, but I just keep going and going and going until I pass out or my friends cut me off."
That excuse sounded familiar to her; it had been used frequently by an ex-boyfriend of hers. "Well, start helping it," she said sharply and deposited him on the bed a little rudely.
Chad flopped down in a heap. "Ow."
Chagrined, Mary Anne rushed to his side and stroked his hair comfortingly. "Chad, I'm sorry! I should've been more gentle!"
"I'm ok, but now I think I need sleep."
"Are you okay sleeping in your clothes?" Mary Anne asked.
"Mmm, too hot." Chad sat up with some difficulty and pulled his jacket off but had some trouble with his t-shirt until Mary Anne gently pushed his hands aside and tugged it off of him herself. "Thanks."
Mary Anne stared at his exposed chest, disconcerted by the lack of hair on it. "Why did you do that?"
"Say thanks? Cuz you helped me get out--"
"No. This." She traced a finger lightly between his pecs. "Did you wax your chest?"
"Yeah, how'd you know that?" He squinted up at her.
"Because your chest hair's all gone, baby. Chad."
He gave her a drunk, confused look. "Didn't we meet tonight? Or have we slept together before? You're confusing me." Rubbing his forehead, he pouted a little.
"I'm sorry." She kissed his forehead. "Most men have chest hair; I was wondering why you'd wax yours off is all."
Chad covered his face with his hands, muffling his voice. "I lost a bet. I make a loooooooooot of bets."
She started to laugh and pulled his hands away from his face. "Do you ever actually win any?"
He yawned. "Sure, sometimes. I won a bet where my friend had to walk backwards all day. That was great, 'til he tripped and twisted his ankle."
"Owwie. Yeah, that wouldn't be fun. My best friend Kristy broke her ankle when we were-" Mary Anne cut herself off when she saw how sleepy he looked and instead took a lock of his blonde hair in her fingers and played with it.
"Hmmm? Were you talking?"
"No. Go to sleep baby. I'll just get you that ice and leave some medicine by your bed here. Then I'm gonna call my friends to come get me and you just sleep this off."
"Uh huh," Chad said, already drifting off.
Mary Anne carefully got off the bed and got some ice, wrapping it up in a dishtowel. She came back and settled down next to him, applying the pack to his bump. He winced a little in his sleep and then settled down again. Being so close to Chad again, comforted by his closeness, Mary Anne fell asleep herself.
~*~
Because Mary Anne had had the psychic paper last, Kristy now couldn't buy a drink. Frustrated, she stood at the bar and did her best not to pout. Kristy Thomas wasn't a pouter. She supposed The Doctor could've bought her a drink since he looked over twenty-one but as soon as a slow song had come on during their dancing, he'd run off to hide in the bathroom, leaving her to fend for herself.
"Heyyyy." A guy slid up next to her at the bar, grinning widely. "Want a drink, beautiful?"
See, this is why she wanted The Doctor to play Boyfriend. So this wouldn't happen. But a free drink was a free drink so she said, "Sure."
Finally, The Doctor came out of the bathroom and Kristy saluted the hopeful drunk with her bottle of beer. "There's my boyfriend. Thanks for the drink." She hopped down from the stool as the guy started to protest and wound her way through the crowd to The Doctor.
"Ah, underage drinking," he said when he saw her. "Oh, the fun."
She frowned, hurt. "I'm twenty-three years old, it's not underage."
"Oh. Yes, I knew that. Bit of a joke."
Kristy studied his face. "You didn't know how old I was."
"Well, you never told me so I had to guess." When she didn't look impressed with that answer, he added impatiently, "I'm around 900 years old. Excuse me if I'm off on your age by a year or two."
"Oh, there you go again!" Kristy threw her arms up in the air.
The Doctor did the same. "What?"
"Look, I know that compared to you I'm an insignificant speck, okay?" Kristy snapped. "Do you have to constantly rub it in? I get that you're older and come from a way more intelligent race."
"Well if you get that then you shouldn't be offended when I forget your age."
"I can't help it if I keep hoping that this friendship will stop being so one-sided!"
He looked puzzled by that response. "Now that's not true, Kristy. I may not remember your age, but I remember the fun we have together."
"Sometimes there's more to friendship than fun," she said, disappointed in him.
"I realize that."
"I'm not so sure you do." She frowned at him and walked toward the bathrooms. "Excuse me."
The Doctor turned to watch her go, unhappily.
~*~
Mary Anne had woken up to the sound of pained groaning and she had just barely gotten Chad to the bathroom before he started throwing up.
"Kill me now," he moaned, resting his head against the side of the toilet bowl. "I'm never drinking again."
"Shhhh." Mary Anne rubbed soothing circles on her back. She was so used to vomit working with children for years that she didn't feel as disgusted as she should've felt. She was more worried about him than anything. "Want some water to rinse your mouth out a little?"
He spit and said, "Okay," weakly.
She found a small cup on the counter and quickly filled it with water for him, which he accepted gratefully, swishing the water in his mouth before spitting it back out into the toilet.
"Thanks. I feel tons better."
"That's good." She pushed his thick hair up off his forehead and pouted in sympathy at how hot his skin felt. "Do you want to stay in here in case you get another round of barfing? I can set you up all comfy. Or we can go back to bed and I can get you a bowl or something to barf in."
"I want my bed," he said, sounding like a little boy.
Mary Anne smiled softly. "Okay, baby. Let's go then." She led him out of the bathroom and got him settled in bed once more.
"Did you call your friend yet?" Chad asked, hugging one of his pillows. "You can use my phone."
"No, it's okay, I got my cell phone."
"Your what?"
"Uh, nothing. Inside joke." Mary Anne sat down on the edge of his bed and stroked his hair softly, making his eyes flutter shut. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't need anything else?"
"No, I'm fine." He opened his eyes and looked at the clock. "I think you should go home to your husband; try to work things out. He's probably wondering where you are, and he's probably worried too." Chad nodded, giving her a knowing look.
"Okay." Mary Anne looked into his face, memorizing what a somewhat innocent Chad was like, before the years and other relationships shaped him into the man she would meet in another twenty years. "I'll miss you."
He smiled. "Really? I hope I remember all this tomorrow so I can miss you too."
Sadly, Mary Anne stood up. "You won't. Sleep sweet, baby."
Chad turned over on his side, mumbling, "I'll be dreaming of you."
Mary Anne left his apartment quietly, missing her Chad, and got out her cellphone to call Kristy.
~*~
Kristy came out of the bathroom and avoided locking gazes with The Doctor, who was out waiting for her. Luckily, her phone rang so she got to avoid him a little longer, hurrying outside so she wouldn't draw any unwanted attention with her high tech gadgetry. He trailed after her as she went.
"Kristy, it's me. Could you guys come get me?" Mary Anne asked.
"Sure! Just, uh," She lowered her voice, aware of The Doctor just behind her. "expect a lecture from the Doctor. He's kinda pissed."
"Ohhhhh yay."
"Uh huh. Believe me, they're not fun. So, anyways, where are you?"
Mary Anne gave her the address and Kristy hung up the phone, glancing over her shoulder at The Doctor. "That was Mary Anne. She wants us to come get her."
"Great. Address?"
She gave it to him coldly and they got into the TARDIS, traveling to their destination in total silence. They found Mary Anne sitting on the curb outside Chad's apartment building and she stood up apprehensively when they arrived.
"Hi, you guys. I'm so sorry," Mary Anne said, shamefaced.
"So what exactly happened?" The Doctor asked bluntly.
"I just... took care of him." Mary Anne looked embarrassed and Kristy felt for her friend.
The Doctor sighed. "Well, shall we go back to your present time and see if he's still your husband?"
Mary Anne's embarrassment turned to panic. "You mean he might not be?"
"I told you not to change the past. Obviously he didn't fall into a gutter and die or he wouldn't be your husband in your present. What if he remembered you when you first met him in your time? He might think you were the daughter of the woman that helped him, and you two never would have dated." He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to soften his severe tone. "I don't want to startle you, but it's a possibility. Let's just hope that he doesn't remember you at all and your present is unchanged."
Kristy glared at him as Mary Anne teared up in alarm.
"Shall I take you home now?"
"Yes, please," Mary Anne said, meekly, and Kristy wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her onto the TARDIS.
~*~
When they landed again in the Shelten yard, Kristy hung back a moment to speak to The Doctor. "You should probably wait here. I'll walk her in."
"Right," he agreed, nodding.
"Good move freaking her out, though," Kristy said, sarcastically.
"I wasn't freaking her out; I was preparing her. You can't sugarcoat every little thing in life. Life's not easy."
"Yeah, and now she's scared to death. You really did her a favor." Furious, Kristy followed after the trembling Mary Anne.
The Doctor went back into the TARDIS, contemplating just leaving Kristy behind.
Mary Anne ran into the house in alarm. "Chad? Chad!"
Chad came out of his office at a run, skidding on the wood floor when he saw Mary Anne. He gaped at her in surprise but caught her easily when she leapt up into his arms.
"I love you!" Mary Anne sobbed, dropping kisses all over his face.
He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair. "Where'd you go? Why'd you leave? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I love you too."
"I was just so mad at you and... how long was I gone?" Mary Anne finally seemed to notice what Kristy had when she first walked in: Chad's eyes were bloodshot, his face was covered in a few week's worth of growth, and he was shaking.
His eyes widened. "Two months!!! Everyone thought you left me for him or they thought I caught up to you and killed you!" He glared at her reproachfully.
"It was only supposed to be two days," Mary Anne said, looking horrified. She stroked his hair, eyes filling up with tears. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. .... Okay, I did, but not two months' worth of worry."
Chad glared over her shoulder at Kristy. "So this is your fault? Your boyfriend can't control his weird alien spaceship, huh?"
Even though she wasn't exactly happy with The Doctor herself, she bristled at Chad's tone. "It's your fault for being an asshole and chasing her off in the first place!"
"Well it's his fault if Mary Anne only wanted to be gone two days and it ends up being two months and I think I'm never gonna see her again!" Chad looked away, trying to hide his tears.
Unsure of what to say, Kristy settled for not saying anything at all. She could further feel the connection she and Chad had formed over the years stretch and then snap. There was no going back after this; their friendship was over.
"Could you put me down, please?" Mary Anne said, softly. When Chad set her gently on her feet, Mary Anne went up to Kristy and they stared at each other a long moment, both feeling that this was the end.
"It's probably best if The Doctor and I don't come around anymore," Kristy said, quietly.
Mary Anne nodded, her own eyes brimming with tears. "P-probably." She wrapped her arms around Kristy and the two hugged each other tightly before reluctantly letting each other go. "I love you."
Kristy smiled back, sadly. "I love you, too."
As Kristy walked across the yard back to the TARDIS, Mary Anne watched her until the sight was too painful and she turned to hide her face in Chad's chest.
~*~
The Doctor's bad mood faded when Kristy walked in, looking heartbroken. "Is everything the same inside?"
"Um, yeah. P-pretty much." She hid her face from him but he could hear the tears in her voice.
"You know, you don't have to stay here with me," The Doctor said quietly. "Since I'm not welcome around Mary Anne anymore, and by default, you aren't either. I mean... I love having you along, but I'll understand if you don't want to stay anymore."
"No, I- I know. But if I left you behind, I'd be just as miserable. So... it's time to live my life and Mary Anne to live hers." Kristy sat down, taking a shaky breath.
"I could--" He paused, thinking. "From time to time I could drop you off to visit and hide out somewhere, until you call and you're ready to come back."
"Maybe. I'm not sure about that. I'm... not sure I like having her choose a guy over me."
He came and sat down beside her. "Well, in a way, you're doing the same thing."
"This is different," Kristy said, stiffly. "Because... you didn't wrong anybody. You're not getting rewarded for being a fucktard."
The Doctor's eyes widened. "A fu-- nevermind. I know you'll think I'm bonkers, but I see where he's coming from."
"He sold you out to some government spooks who would've gone all E.T. autopsy on you," she said, looking at him incredulously. "There's no excuse for that. They would've tortured you."
"Wouldn't be the first time," he said, thinking back. "Besides, what I meant was, Chad's cautious of what he doesn't understand. And most of the human race is too, at some level. He was afraid that because of what I am, I would be a threat to Mary Anne, himself, and maybe the whole planet. That philosophy is hard to throw away just because one person vouches for me."
Kristy dropped her head to his shoulder. "I'm just glad you're here."
The Doctor looked at her in surprise. "We're friends, Kristy. And that means more than just having fun. It's being there when you need a shoulder to cry on."
"Yeah. The offer's open if you ever need one, too." She sniffled, smiling at him.
"I'll remember that." He patted her back. "Ready to go?"
"Where are we headed?" She asked, wiping her face.
The Doctor ran to the controls and started fiddling around with them. "Wrigley Field, Chicago Illinois, May 17, 1943. Do you know what day that is?"
Kristy stared at him in stunned surprise. "Are you serious?"
"Yes! The first day of spring training for the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League." He paused to take a breath. "And before you ask, no, you may not try out, because you would undoubtedly make it and ruin history. We're just here to observe."
Smiling at him, Kristy rose to her feet. "Observation, got it." She looked down at her 80s clothes. "I should probably change first."
"Yes, undoubtedly." The Doctor typed in the coordinates and looked up as Kristy wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He hugged her back one-armed and she left a soft kiss on his cheek.
Watching her leave the room, he smiled.
< Chapter Three - A Threat to Global Security : Chapter Five - Epiphany >
Title: Chapter Four - Back to the Eighties
Author:
toxic_corn and nutmeg610Rating: R because Kristy can be a bit of a foulmouth.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Ann M. Martin, Scholastic Books, and the BBC. Sometimes ABC even. And NBC. Okay, practically no one is ours, okay? We aren't collecting any money so pretty please don't sue? We're both broke college students.
Summary: Kristy Thomas has been doing well since her days as president of the Babysitters Club. She's about to graduate from the University of Connecticut and her best friend's finacee can get her a place in the LAPD. It looks like her future is set until a strange man in a magic blue box shows up and changes everything...
Authors' Note: Yet another pairing in the crack series. We found the idea of The Doctor having to put up with the blunt, bossy Kristy to be funny and from there the story grew. If you think that now we are officially certifiable, you're most likely right. This follows the other stories in the crack series: Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne and Wanna Get It On, Dawn?
Catch up on earlier chapters at the organizational post.
Our old friends appear in this chapter, too! :)
We haven't really been talking. Every time we try it turns into a horrible fight. I need a break. Kevin and Dawn are his friends too and I hate to put them in the middle. Can you guys come get me? Maybe I can tag along for a couple of days? I won't be any trouble.
- email from Mary Anne Shelten to Kristy Thomas
Chad Shelten slammed his car door and reluctantly walked up the driveway. The last two weeks had been torture. He and Mary Anne had gotten into plenty of disagreements but they had never gone on this long. When he came home, he was no longer greeted by her leaping up into his arms or finding her in her office and getting a kiss and a hello. It'd been so long since she smiled at him.
The front door was locked. Swearing softly under his breath, Chad fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. She was probably over at Dawn's. She'd been doing that more and more lately, coming home late and sleeping in the guest room to avoid him.
Since all of their conversations lately collapsed into screaming fights, they'd both just given up. Mary Anne had taken to leaving notes for him if she needed to tell him something.
C - You're running low on socks and you're going to need to do a load of laundry. Here's some instructions on how to use the washer/dryer... - MA
C - I'll be spending the weekend with Dawn. I'm taking Tigger with me so don't worry about feeding him. - MA
So he went into the kitchen to warily check the fridge for his usual note. And there it was, tucked under a magnet. Snorting, he took it down and scanned the lines. By the end, his hands were shaking.
Chad - I've gone with Kristy and The Doctor. I don't know how long I'll be gone, maybe just a few days. I need some time to think. - Mary Anne
"So where are we going?" Mary Anne asked as Kristy dug through a trunk of clothing. She'd just gotten off the phone with Dawn and her work, making sure they knew she was going to be gone a few days.
"Not where; when." Kristy pulled out a Boy Toy belt and grinned. "Remember how much we liked going to the 80s dances at school? Well, we're going to the real 80s. It's just the thing to cheer you up."
Mary Anne giggled. "Are you serious?"
Kristy held up a sweatshirt with the neckline cut out. "Does this look like I'm serious?"
Taking turns with The Doctor's psychic paper, they all got drinks at the bar and noted their surroundings. Saturday night in Los Angeles 1986 wasn't all that different from any other time period. At first, Kristy thought this would disappoint Mary Anne but then some fantastically 80's woman would walk by with teased hair and blue eye shadow and they'd both collapse into giggles only to be chastised by The Doctor.
"Your own clothing will go out of style given time," he said, frowning at them.
Kristy nudged him, saying quietly, "She's smiling for once. Don't ruin it."
"I think I'm going to get another drink." Mary Anne stood up and The Doctor handed her the psychic paper in case she needed ID.
Keeping a careful watch on Mary Anne, Kristy noticed a large, blonde man bumble over to her, a look of drunken intent on his face. She frowned at him, wondering if she'd need to step in to defend Mary Anne's honor when she recognized him.
"No way," she whispered, in shock.
Mary Anne was waiting patiently for her drink when a drunken man nudged her, slurring, "Are those space pants? Cuz I can see myself in them."
Disgusted, she looked at the man, ready to tell him off. He was wearing an electric blue-tshirt, white jacket with the sleeves scrunched up, white pants, and had a shock of blonde hair. "I'm not-" She looked into his face and her jaw dropped. "Chad?! What did you do to your hair?!"
"You know me?" A foolish grin spread across his face. "Course. Everybody knows me. 'm Chad Sheeeeelten."
"Uh huh." Mary Anne could hardly believe it. She'd never known Chad was this big of a drinker. She'd seen him get a little tipsy, yes, but this was awful. He could hardly stand upright, his strong arm wrapped around the bar top being the only thing keeping him from sprawling across the dirty floor.
"What're ya drinkin'? Chad asked and slapped the bar top. "Bar god! 'Nother drink for the sexy lady and twooo more for me!"
Mary Anne shook her head at the bartender, who looked like he wasn't going to serve Chad, anyway. "You've had enough," she said, firmly. "Come on, I'm taking you home."
"That's an aweeeesome idea," Chad said, stumbling closer to her to loop his arm around her shoulders. "Wanna show you my place."
"Right." Mary Anne realized she didn't know where he lived so she reached into his back pocket for his wallet.
"Oooo, is that your hand on my ass on are you just happy to see me?" Chad grinned at her.
She sighed. Drunk people were so irritating. "I just need to see your license; don't get excited, okay?" She pulled out the little plastic square and checked the address after noting with relief that at the time he'd had his photo taken, he didn't have the bleach in his hair. "Okay, I drive by this on the way to work everyday, no problem."
"I'll bet your hair's reaaaaaally soft." Chad petted her hair clumsily.
"Yeah, I use conditioner," Mary Anne said, leading him out of the bar.
"A paradox is bad, right?" Kristy said, watching Mary Anne leave with Chad.
"Right," The Doctor agreed.
"So, um. It'd be pretty bad if Mary Anne met Chad here, right?"
"Yes, very bad."
"So then it's really bad that she just walked out the door with him."
For a moment, The Doctor didn't respond. Then his eyes got bigger and bigger and his mouth got smaller and smaller and Kristy wanted to hide under the table to hide from the explosion that was to come.
"What part of 'Stay near the TARDIS' don't you women understand?!"
Bristling at his choice of words and tone, Kristy sarcastically suggested, "I think we get distracted by your inherent sexiness."
The Doctor's fury shifted to intrigue. "Really? So you girls find me... foxy do you? I get that a lot." He snapped out of his little moment and went right back to the problem at hand. "Right. Time to get your friend away from her future husband before she disrupts the timeline and their future children are never born."
"How does that disrupt the timeline? Wouldn't he still be with her later because he remembers her? Maybe that's why they got together in the first place." As soon as she said it, she knew she was wrong: There she was, thinking of time as a loop again, that there was no changing the past or future because everything was meant to be. Time Lord science worked a bit more differently than that.
"No, she said they got together because he pulled her over for speeding and later returned her drug addicted boyfriend's cell phone while she was at his place," The Doctor corrected her. "Keep up now. Think about it; if he remembers her in the future, won't he think it's a bit odd that she hasn't aged a day in twenty years? It'd be enough to send him screaming for the hills. That, or he'd think she was Mary Anne's daughter, and that's just all kinds of not right."
"Can't you like, use your sonic screwdriver and erase his memory?" Kristy asked, grasping at straws.
"It's not a magic wand. I can't just wave it and make everything better. Besides, even if I could, I wouldn't. It's impolite to erase people's memories."
Kristy looked at him like he was crazy, wondering about his priorities. "Imp-! But if it makes the timeline crash in on itself then shouldn't manners take a backseat?!"
"Now, now," The Doctor chided. "There's always room for manners. And I said 'even if I could,' which means I can't. My screwdriver unlocks doors, scans, and does other useful things. However, it is not a mind eraser, so erase that idea from your mind."
"Fine," Kristy said, sighing heavily. "Maybe she gave him a fake name? And he seemed pretty drunk so maybe he won't remember this at all. Or if he does, he'll think she's like, Debbie or someone."
"Why Debbie?" The Doctor asked. "Why is it always Debbie, or... or Mindy or something? It's never Augusta or Matilda, is it?"
Kristy made a face. "Because those are old lady names."
"Come now, a lot of English queens were named Matilda... granted that was in the 10th and 11th centuries, but uh... what were we discussing again? It's so hard to keep track."
"Mary Anne just left with her future husband," Kristy reminded him.
"Right. I think I have a plan. Come along." The Doctor stood up and led the way out of the bar, running to the TARDIS with Kristy at his heels.
While Kristy and The Doctor bickered inside, Mary Anne supported Chad as best as she could while scanning the parking lot. "Where's your car, Chad?"
"Over there," he said, gesturing vaguely to the left.
Grumbling, Mary Anne went left, hauling Chad's considerable bulk along. He wasn't quite as muscular as he'd be in his forties but he was still a big boy. A thought struck her as she hauled him along and her face brightened. "Hey, wait! I remember you telling me about an old Camaro of yours you loved like a child. And here it is!" She recognized it from the framed photo he kept in his sock drawer. He'd been so embarrassed when she'd found it...
Young, drunk Chad frowned. "We just met, hot stuff. When'd I mention my girl here?"
"Uh, you're drunk and don't remember. Keys?" Mary Anne held her hand out expectantly.
"D minor. Pffft!" Chad cackled. "Keys! Get it?"
Mary Anne barely managed not to roll her eyes. "Yes, I get it. That's very funny. But will you give me your car keys?"
"Oh, umm... they're in my front pocket." Chad winked at her. "You can get them for me."
Her eyes flashed dangerously. "How about you get them for me and I don't dump you in a gutter someplace?"
He pouted at her harsh tone. "Geez, calm down. I'll get them." He fumbled in his pocket and then held them in front of her face, jangling them. When she reached out for them, he stumbled forward, pinning her against the car.
"Eeep!" she managed under the heavy weight pressing against her.
"Shit, sorry. I usually don't have a balance problem." He pulled back a little as he snickered, giving her room to breathe while still keeping her pinned in place. His snickers stopped when he looked into her face. "But damn, you're beautiful," he said, giving her a silly grin.
She blushed furiously and started pushing at his chest, trying to get him to move. "Th-thank you."
"I mean it," he insisted and stumbled back a little so she could unlock the car door. "I'm not jus' saying that to try and get laid." He quickly added. "I mean, if you wanna have sex, I'm all for it, but it was a real compliment, not one of those fakey ones some people give."
Mary Anne got the door open. "I know. Thank you. Get in, Chad." She walked around the car to get to the driver's side, happy to put some distance between them.
Chad flopped into the car and knocked his head off the roof with a sickening smack.
Gasping, Mary Anne got into the driver's side and touched his shoulder as he groaned in pain. "Baby, are you okay?!"
"Baby? Aww, you got a nickname for me." Chad rubbed his head and leaned toward her. "Am I bleeding?"
She gently took his head in her hands and looked him over. "No, but you're going to have a good-sized goose egg. Once we get home I'll get some ice for you."
He looked at her adoringly, an expression she hadn't seen on his face for what felt like a long time. "Thanks, sweetheart."
Mary Anne's breath caught at the combination of the look and endearment. But then she had to remind herself that this wasn't her husband. At least not yet. She let go of his head and turned to the steering wheel, putting the key in the ignition. "Buckle up, Chad."
"Okay." It took him a few attempts but he finally got it in the end.
"Good boy," she said distractedly as she steered them out of the parking lot.
Kristy followed The Doctor into the TARDIS as he excitedly starting pulling different levers and turning cogs. "If we simply trace the frequency of her mobile phone, we can find out where she and Shelten are heading, then we can follow them and-"
"Or uh, I can call her." Kristy waved her cellphone to him.
The Doctor paused in the middle of his frenzied action. "That could work too..."
"If it doesn't, we'll go with your more complicated plan," Kristy promised him.
"Right, and was very complicated and exciting too," he said, flipping switches to avoid looking at her.
"Of course." Kristy dialed the number and waited a few moments before hanging up with a sigh. "She has her phone turned off."
"Alright!" Off of Kristy's look, he cleared his throat. "Uh, I mean now we can use the frequency of her mobile to triangulate her position within the city."
"Can you do that if the phone is turned off?"
The Doctor took a deep breath. "Ah." He frowned. "Okay, new plan."
"Wait for her to call us? Or... we can go out and have some fun." Kristy ran to the TARDIS doors and threw them open. "Wang Chung Tonight" came pouring in from the bar and she started bouncing up and down, looking like a dork.
"I don't think you realize the seriousness of the situation here." The Doctor stuffed his hands in his pockets and gave her a stern look.
Kristy recognized that look of his and closed the TARDIS doors again. "I don't think anything is going to happen. Mary Anne would consider this cheating and she'd never cheat on Chad in a million years, not even with Chad." She paused to consider that a moment, boggling over what her life had become. "Besides, he was falling down drunk and in no condition to get sexed up. Oooooh, is that song I Want Your Sex released yet? That would be a fun one for karaoke."
She smiled a little in victory as he sighed, giving up. "She better pray that he doesn't remember anything in the morning, or she may return home to find that Chad isn't her husband."
"Well, what else are we supposed to do?" Kristy asked, not liking the feeling of powerlessness.
"There's nothing we can do except hope she's not that memorable. Now, we can do a bit of exploring and wait for her call. And no, that George Michael song didn't come out until 1987."
Well, Kristy had two choices. Either she could worry about her friend all night while brainstorming more and more pointless schemes, or she could try to have a little fun and put some trust in Mary Anne to do the right thing. It wasn't too difficult of a choice.
"So can we Wang Chung tonight??" she asked, eagerly.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yes, we can."
Miffed, Kristy said, "Well, if you're going to be a crab, you can stay here while I go have fun."
Striding past her and out the doors, The Doctor said, "You're not the boss of me."
Kristy grinned, following after him, and was sure to shut the door behind her. Running up along side him, she grabbed the ends of his coat and threw it up over his head, making him squawk in indignation. "Yes huh!"
"Excuse me?" He struggled with the coat and put it back down.
"You heard me, Doctor. Yes. Huh." Giggling and having fun, Kristy led the way back to the bar as Wang Chung ended and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" came on next. "I love this song!!"
"It is quite appropriate for you," The Doctor noted as she started dancing right there, imitating Cyndi Lauper's moves from the music video. He couldn't help but smile in amusement at her antics.
"Come on and dance with me." Kristy crooked her finger at him, pushing the bar door open.
"I didn't take you for the clubbing type."
"I wasn't but I did a little in college. It was mostly fun except when barfy guys would hit on me but I have you here to play Boyfriend so nothing like that's going to happen."
"Boyfriend?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you think you should ask me before you assume I'll play your boyfriend?"
Kristy blushed a little. "Sorry, I just assumed. Doctor, will you play my boyfriend so barfy guys won't hit on me?"
"Sure, why not?"
Smiling, Kristy took his hand and pulled him inside. They wound their way around groups of people to the dance floor. "Well, come on then. Let's dance."
"Dance? I'm not sure I can dance to this type of music."
Looking around the room at all the awkward flailing that passed for dancing in the 1980s, Kristy laughed. "I don't think anyone can. Just copy me."
"Very well." The Doctor waited a moment for Kristy to move and once she started pogo-ing, he imitated her, making her laugh and he grinned back at her in response.
"Hey, what's that?" Chad said suddenly, leaning forward and almost knocking his head on the windshield.
"Careful!" Keeping her eyes on the road, Mary Anne pushed him back into his seat. "What's what?"
"On your finger." Driving under another streetlight, the illumination reflected off of her wedding ring. Chad looked disappointed. "You're married."
"I- I am. Yes."
"So... this means you're not gonna sleep with me, huh?"
"Even if I wasn't married, I still wouldn't. You wouldn't remember a thing and that'd be an awkward morning after." The thought of Chad looking at her with no trace of recognition in his eyes gave her a little shiver of horror.
"Pfffft, well yeah but... but you're a tease!" Chad's eyes flashed. "You called me baby and grabbed my ass and everything!"
Mary Anne looked at him with big, wounded eyes. "I'm not a tease!"
"Yeah you are! Why you leading me on?" Chad demanded.
"I'm not!" Mary Anne protested, voice shaking. So much for her break from arguing with Chad; even the younger version found fault with her. "I've only ever said I would take you home because you're drunk and can hardly stand up. I in no way implied that I was going to sleep with you."
He pointed his finger at her angrily. "You called me baby! I thought you wanted me, so excuse me all to hell!"
"You're always going to be mean, aren't you?" Mary Anne asked, voice trembling. They'd reached a red light and she buried her face in her hands to weep, exhausted by the last few weeks.
"I-I'm not being mean! Holy shit, don't cry!" Chad exclaimed, alarmed. "I'm sorry; I'm just, I got confused. I'm drunk and drunks say all sorts of stupid things." He hesitated before setting his hand on her back to comfort her. "Sorry. You're just being nice to me, and I ruined everything. I always do that."
She glanced over at him and saw how apologetic he was. "I-I normally wouldn't cry over something like this, I've just... had a bad time these last few weeks." The light turned green and she hastily wiped her eyes and got going before someone could honk at her impatiently.
"How come?"
Laughing, she shook her head. "You don't wanna hear about my problems."
Chad set his head back against the headrest and winced at the lump forming there. "Sure I do. I wanna help, since it's my fault you're crying."
"It's just... my husband really let me down recently. He hurt someone very close to me and.... he hasn't been sorry. We haven't been speaking and-" She let out a soft sob. "I miss him but at the same time I just can't stand to look at him. I'm not even sure I wanna be married to him anymore..."
"That sucks," Chad said, sitting up. "Did he do it on purpose or was it an accident? I know I never apologize for accidental stuff I do... except the making you cry part. That was an accident, but I'm sorry."
"Oh, he did it on purpose. He... he probably thinks he did the right thing but he's just willfully not seeing the damage he caused. It's so frustrating and he makes me feel like I'm over-reacting by-" She cut a quick glance at him. "You don't have to listen to this."
"I know. I want to listen. Look, sometimes... people get caught up in wanting to do the right thing that they don't realize all the other stuff they're doing at the same time. I mean, I don't want to take his side, it's just that I'm kinda like that too. I'm training to be a cop, because I want to help people, and catch the criminals and all that stuff. And I'm so focused on that, that other things are... slipping through the cracks I guess." He shrugged. "Do you think that's what's happening with him? Or is he just an asshole and I should go beat the crap out of him for you?"
His hopeful smile made her laugh as she thought about what he said. "That's... you're right, I'll bet that's what's going on." She smiled at him brightly and added, "Thank you, Chad. But no, don't beat him up please. You'll only hurt yourself, too."
Chad frowned. "Well ok, but I'll bet I can take him. I'm a pretty big guy."
The mental image of young, blonde Chad and her Chad grappling with one another sent her into a giggling fit. Chad laughed along with her. "What?"
"Nothing." She patted his knee affectionately. "You'll see."
Surprisingly, he accepted that. "Ok. So do you feel better?"
"I feel much better." She gave him another sweet smile.
"Woo!" Chad smacked the roof of the car. "I saved a marriage! Maybe I should be, like a marriage counselor or something!"
"Nahhh, that's lame. It's much sexier to chase bad guys." Mary Anne smirked to herself.
"Yeah, that's true. Get to carry a gun... beat up drug dealers... it's gonna be so cool," Chad enthused.
Mary Anne started giggling again and said to herself, "God you were so cute."
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, baby," she said before realizing what she was saying. "Chad. Chad!"
He sighed. "You're doing it again."
She sighed, too. "I'm sorry. But hey, here we are at your apartment!"
They pulled up to the curb and Mary Anne helped him out of the car to make sure he didn't smack his head on the roof again. Once he was out of the car, she was back to supporting his weight as best she could.
"Okay, let's get you inside. Is the key for this door on the ring?" Mary Anne jingled the keys in her hand.
"Yup, the brass one." Chad wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're so tiny!"
She found the key, not really paying attention to what he was saying. "Uh huh, I always have been." She led him up the short flight of stairs leading into his building and got the door open. "Which apartment is yours again?"
"Uhh, it's 4F. Fourth floor."
"Okay. Elevator time. Just hold it together, baby, okay?" She hit the button and the doors opened automatically.
"Stop callin' me that, or I'll start kissin' you," he said as she lugged him inside the elevator.
Pushing the 4 button, she smiled. "Some things never change."
Chad squinted under the elevator's bright light and rubbed his face tiredly. "What's your name again? I feel bad I forgot."
"I never actually told you, so you never forgot it. I'm Ma- um. Ginger."
He chuckled. "That's cute. Too bad you aren't a redhead. It'd really fit."
Mary Anne giggled. "Maybe I'll dye my hair for you." With a ding the elevator reached the fourth floor and the doors slid open.
"Nah, don't bother. Your husband might not like it, and I'll never see you again anyways." He sounded genuinely sad as she helped him out of the elevator and down the hall.
"Come on, baby, almost there," she said quietly, and just like that they were in front of his door.
Chad pulled away and turned toward her, stooping down a little to kiss her softly and a little sloppily. "Said stop it with the 'baby.'"
It had been so long since she'd been kissed by Chad. She started to sway toward him. "Can't help it. You're my baby."
He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're sweet," he said, kissing her again. "You're a sweetheart."
"I'm your sweetheart," Mary Anne promised. "Forever."
A boyish smile spread across his face and he grabbed the doorknob, giving it a push. "Damn, locked. Can you let us in?"
"Oh, right. Okay. Which key?" she asked, sifting through the keys on the ring.
Chad put his hand over hers, helping her find the key. "This one."
"Thanks." She unlocked the door and led him inside. "Where's your bedroom?"
"The open door, straight ahead." He nodded and the action sent him stumbling but he managed to catch himself before he hit the ground.
Mary Anne gripped him around his waist, helping him to his room. "Poor Chad. You have to stop doing this to yourself."
"I can't help it. I don't mean to, but I just keep going and going and going until I pass out or my friends cut me off."
That excuse sounded familiar to her; it had been used frequently by an ex-boyfriend of hers. "Well, start helping it," she said sharply and deposited him on the bed a little rudely.
Chad flopped down in a heap. "Ow."
Chagrined, Mary Anne rushed to his side and stroked his hair comfortingly. "Chad, I'm sorry! I should've been more gentle!"
"I'm ok, but now I think I need sleep."
"Are you okay sleeping in your clothes?" Mary Anne asked.
"Mmm, too hot." Chad sat up with some difficulty and pulled his jacket off but had some trouble with his t-shirt until Mary Anne gently pushed his hands aside and tugged it off of him herself. "Thanks."
Mary Anne stared at his exposed chest, disconcerted by the lack of hair on it. "Why did you do that?"
"Say thanks? Cuz you helped me get out--"
"No. This." She traced a finger lightly between his pecs. "Did you wax your chest?"
"Yeah, how'd you know that?" He squinted up at her.
"Because your chest hair's all gone, baby. Chad."
He gave her a drunk, confused look. "Didn't we meet tonight? Or have we slept together before? You're confusing me." Rubbing his forehead, he pouted a little.
"I'm sorry." She kissed his forehead. "Most men have chest hair; I was wondering why you'd wax yours off is all."
Chad covered his face with his hands, muffling his voice. "I lost a bet. I make a loooooooooot of bets."
She started to laugh and pulled his hands away from his face. "Do you ever actually win any?"
He yawned. "Sure, sometimes. I won a bet where my friend had to walk backwards all day. That was great, 'til he tripped and twisted his ankle."
"Owwie. Yeah, that wouldn't be fun. My best friend Kristy broke her ankle when we were-" Mary Anne cut herself off when she saw how sleepy he looked and instead took a lock of his blonde hair in her fingers and played with it.
"Hmmm? Were you talking?"
"No. Go to sleep baby. I'll just get you that ice and leave some medicine by your bed here. Then I'm gonna call my friends to come get me and you just sleep this off."
"Uh huh," Chad said, already drifting off.
Mary Anne carefully got off the bed and got some ice, wrapping it up in a dishtowel. She came back and settled down next to him, applying the pack to his bump. He winced a little in his sleep and then settled down again. Being so close to Chad again, comforted by his closeness, Mary Anne fell asleep herself.
Because Mary Anne had had the psychic paper last, Kristy now couldn't buy a drink. Frustrated, she stood at the bar and did her best not to pout. Kristy Thomas wasn't a pouter. She supposed The Doctor could've bought her a drink since he looked over twenty-one but as soon as a slow song had come on during their dancing, he'd run off to hide in the bathroom, leaving her to fend for herself.
"Heyyyy." A guy slid up next to her at the bar, grinning widely. "Want a drink, beautiful?"
See, this is why she wanted The Doctor to play Boyfriend. So this wouldn't happen. But a free drink was a free drink so she said, "Sure."
Finally, The Doctor came out of the bathroom and Kristy saluted the hopeful drunk with her bottle of beer. "There's my boyfriend. Thanks for the drink." She hopped down from the stool as the guy started to protest and wound her way through the crowd to The Doctor.
"Ah, underage drinking," he said when he saw her. "Oh, the fun."
She frowned, hurt. "I'm twenty-three years old, it's not underage."
"Oh. Yes, I knew that. Bit of a joke."
Kristy studied his face. "You didn't know how old I was."
"Well, you never told me so I had to guess." When she didn't look impressed with that answer, he added impatiently, "I'm around 900 years old. Excuse me if I'm off on your age by a year or two."
"Oh, there you go again!" Kristy threw her arms up in the air.
The Doctor did the same. "What?"
"Look, I know that compared to you I'm an insignificant speck, okay?" Kristy snapped. "Do you have to constantly rub it in? I get that you're older and come from a way more intelligent race."
"Well if you get that then you shouldn't be offended when I forget your age."
"I can't help it if I keep hoping that this friendship will stop being so one-sided!"
He looked puzzled by that response. "Now that's not true, Kristy. I may not remember your age, but I remember the fun we have together."
"Sometimes there's more to friendship than fun," she said, disappointed in him.
"I realize that."
"I'm not so sure you do." She frowned at him and walked toward the bathrooms. "Excuse me."
The Doctor turned to watch her go, unhappily.
Mary Anne had woken up to the sound of pained groaning and she had just barely gotten Chad to the bathroom before he started throwing up.
"Kill me now," he moaned, resting his head against the side of the toilet bowl. "I'm never drinking again."
"Shhhh." Mary Anne rubbed soothing circles on her back. She was so used to vomit working with children for years that she didn't feel as disgusted as she should've felt. She was more worried about him than anything. "Want some water to rinse your mouth out a little?"
He spit and said, "Okay," weakly.
She found a small cup on the counter and quickly filled it with water for him, which he accepted gratefully, swishing the water in his mouth before spitting it back out into the toilet.
"Thanks. I feel tons better."
"That's good." She pushed his thick hair up off his forehead and pouted in sympathy at how hot his skin felt. "Do you want to stay in here in case you get another round of barfing? I can set you up all comfy. Or we can go back to bed and I can get you a bowl or something to barf in."
"I want my bed," he said, sounding like a little boy.
Mary Anne smiled softly. "Okay, baby. Let's go then." She led him out of the bathroom and got him settled in bed once more.
"Did you call your friend yet?" Chad asked, hugging one of his pillows. "You can use my phone."
"No, it's okay, I got my cell phone."
"Your what?"
"Uh, nothing. Inside joke." Mary Anne sat down on the edge of his bed and stroked his hair softly, making his eyes flutter shut. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't need anything else?"
"No, I'm fine." He opened his eyes and looked at the clock. "I think you should go home to your husband; try to work things out. He's probably wondering where you are, and he's probably worried too." Chad nodded, giving her a knowing look.
"Okay." Mary Anne looked into his face, memorizing what a somewhat innocent Chad was like, before the years and other relationships shaped him into the man she would meet in another twenty years. "I'll miss you."
He smiled. "Really? I hope I remember all this tomorrow so I can miss you too."
Sadly, Mary Anne stood up. "You won't. Sleep sweet, baby."
Chad turned over on his side, mumbling, "I'll be dreaming of you."
Mary Anne left his apartment quietly, missing her Chad, and got out her cellphone to call Kristy.
Kristy came out of the bathroom and avoided locking gazes with The Doctor, who was out waiting for her. Luckily, her phone rang so she got to avoid him a little longer, hurrying outside so she wouldn't draw any unwanted attention with her high tech gadgetry. He trailed after her as she went.
"Kristy, it's me. Could you guys come get me?" Mary Anne asked.
"Sure! Just, uh," She lowered her voice, aware of The Doctor just behind her. "expect a lecture from the Doctor. He's kinda pissed."
"Ohhhhh yay."
"Uh huh. Believe me, they're not fun. So, anyways, where are you?"
Mary Anne gave her the address and Kristy hung up the phone, glancing over her shoulder at The Doctor. "That was Mary Anne. She wants us to come get her."
"Great. Address?"
She gave it to him coldly and they got into the TARDIS, traveling to their destination in total silence. They found Mary Anne sitting on the curb outside Chad's apartment building and she stood up apprehensively when they arrived.
"Hi, you guys. I'm so sorry," Mary Anne said, shamefaced.
"So what exactly happened?" The Doctor asked bluntly.
"I just... took care of him." Mary Anne looked embarrassed and Kristy felt for her friend.
The Doctor sighed. "Well, shall we go back to your present time and see if he's still your husband?"
Mary Anne's embarrassment turned to panic. "You mean he might not be?"
"I told you not to change the past. Obviously he didn't fall into a gutter and die or he wouldn't be your husband in your present. What if he remembered you when you first met him in your time? He might think you were the daughter of the woman that helped him, and you two never would have dated." He placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to soften his severe tone. "I don't want to startle you, but it's a possibility. Let's just hope that he doesn't remember you at all and your present is unchanged."
Kristy glared at him as Mary Anne teared up in alarm.
"Shall I take you home now?"
"Yes, please," Mary Anne said, meekly, and Kristy wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her onto the TARDIS.
When they landed again in the Shelten yard, Kristy hung back a moment to speak to The Doctor. "You should probably wait here. I'll walk her in."
"Right," he agreed, nodding.
"Good move freaking her out, though," Kristy said, sarcastically.
"I wasn't freaking her out; I was preparing her. You can't sugarcoat every little thing in life. Life's not easy."
"Yeah, and now she's scared to death. You really did her a favor." Furious, Kristy followed after the trembling Mary Anne.
The Doctor went back into the TARDIS, contemplating just leaving Kristy behind.
Mary Anne ran into the house in alarm. "Chad? Chad!"
Chad came out of his office at a run, skidding on the wood floor when he saw Mary Anne. He gaped at her in surprise but caught her easily when she leapt up into his arms.
"I love you!" Mary Anne sobbed, dropping kisses all over his face.
He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair. "Where'd you go? Why'd you leave? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I love you too."
"I was just so mad at you and... how long was I gone?" Mary Anne finally seemed to notice what Kristy had when she first walked in: Chad's eyes were bloodshot, his face was covered in a few week's worth of growth, and he was shaking.
His eyes widened. "Two months!!! Everyone thought you left me for him or they thought I caught up to you and killed you!" He glared at her reproachfully.
"It was only supposed to be two days," Mary Anne said, looking horrified. She stroked his hair, eyes filling up with tears. "Oh baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. .... Okay, I did, but not two months' worth of worry."
Chad glared over her shoulder at Kristy. "So this is your fault? Your boyfriend can't control his weird alien spaceship, huh?"
Even though she wasn't exactly happy with The Doctor herself, she bristled at Chad's tone. "It's your fault for being an asshole and chasing her off in the first place!"
"Well it's his fault if Mary Anne only wanted to be gone two days and it ends up being two months and I think I'm never gonna see her again!" Chad looked away, trying to hide his tears.
Unsure of what to say, Kristy settled for not saying anything at all. She could further feel the connection she and Chad had formed over the years stretch and then snap. There was no going back after this; their friendship was over.
"Could you put me down, please?" Mary Anne said, softly. When Chad set her gently on her feet, Mary Anne went up to Kristy and they stared at each other a long moment, both feeling that this was the end.
"It's probably best if The Doctor and I don't come around anymore," Kristy said, quietly.
Mary Anne nodded, her own eyes brimming with tears. "P-probably." She wrapped her arms around Kristy and the two hugged each other tightly before reluctantly letting each other go. "I love you."
Kristy smiled back, sadly. "I love you, too."
As Kristy walked across the yard back to the TARDIS, Mary Anne watched her until the sight was too painful and she turned to hide her face in Chad's chest.
The Doctor's bad mood faded when Kristy walked in, looking heartbroken. "Is everything the same inside?"
"Um, yeah. P-pretty much." She hid her face from him but he could hear the tears in her voice.
"You know, you don't have to stay here with me," The Doctor said quietly. "Since I'm not welcome around Mary Anne anymore, and by default, you aren't either. I mean... I love having you along, but I'll understand if you don't want to stay anymore."
"No, I- I know. But if I left you behind, I'd be just as miserable. So... it's time to live my life and Mary Anne to live hers." Kristy sat down, taking a shaky breath.
"I could--" He paused, thinking. "From time to time I could drop you off to visit and hide out somewhere, until you call and you're ready to come back."
"Maybe. I'm not sure about that. I'm... not sure I like having her choose a guy over me."
He came and sat down beside her. "Well, in a way, you're doing the same thing."
"This is different," Kristy said, stiffly. "Because... you didn't wrong anybody. You're not getting rewarded for being a fucktard."
The Doctor's eyes widened. "A fu-- nevermind. I know you'll think I'm bonkers, but I see where he's coming from."
"He sold you out to some government spooks who would've gone all E.T. autopsy on you," she said, looking at him incredulously. "There's no excuse for that. They would've tortured you."
"Wouldn't be the first time," he said, thinking back. "Besides, what I meant was, Chad's cautious of what he doesn't understand. And most of the human race is too, at some level. He was afraid that because of what I am, I would be a threat to Mary Anne, himself, and maybe the whole planet. That philosophy is hard to throw away just because one person vouches for me."
Kristy dropped her head to his shoulder. "I'm just glad you're here."
The Doctor looked at her in surprise. "We're friends, Kristy. And that means more than just having fun. It's being there when you need a shoulder to cry on."
"Yeah. The offer's open if you ever need one, too." She sniffled, smiling at him.
"I'll remember that." He patted her back. "Ready to go?"
"Where are we headed?" She asked, wiping her face.
The Doctor ran to the controls and started fiddling around with them. "Wrigley Field, Chicago Illinois, May 17, 1943. Do you know what day that is?"
Kristy stared at him in stunned surprise. "Are you serious?"
"Yes! The first day of spring training for the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League." He paused to take a breath. "And before you ask, no, you may not try out, because you would undoubtedly make it and ruin history. We're just here to observe."
Smiling at him, Kristy rose to her feet. "Observation, got it." She looked down at her 80s clothes. "I should probably change first."
"Yes, undoubtedly." The Doctor typed in the coordinates and looked up as Kristy wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He hugged her back one-armed and she left a soft kiss on his cheek.
Watching her leave the room, he smiled.
< Chapter Three - A Threat to Global Security : Chapter Five - Epiphany >
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no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:20 pm (UTC)Lovin' this more and more - it's awful that their friendship was strained by this, but it looks as if Kristy is moving forward with the Doctor at a nice pace. So sweet that he took her to see the spring training! *awww*
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Date: 2007-03-15 08:34 pm (UTC)Yeah, their relationship is progressing much more slowly than the others in the crackverse but that's kind of a nice change.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:24 pm (UTC)It's crack! It's fun! It's not allowed to make me sniffle!
... but it did anyway *sniffles*
Next chapter!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-15 08:32 pm (UTC)In other news, at least Kristy and the Doctor are slowly becoming closer. And baby!Chad is teh awesome. I wonder if him stopping being such an addict/drunk was in some small way Mary Anne's influence. I mean, just some sort of vague memory of her.
And when are Chad and Mary Anne going to finish that story they've been writing, eh?
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Date: 2007-03-15 08:46 pm (UTC)I'm thinking I need to post the additional scene we had between Mary Anne and Chad now. Hmmm. A deleted scene I guess it would be.
They'll finish their story soon. They both work full time and have twin girls that need attention so they kind of have their hands full. ;)
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Date: 2007-03-15 11:15 pm (UTC)I like how the Doctor's being sweet to Kristy! But I think it's safe to say taht Chad and MA are still my fav of your crack pairings... of course that may be cos we've seen so much of them... not that that's a complaint...
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Date: 2007-03-15 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 12:27 am (UTC)Great chapter.
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Date: 2007-03-16 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-16 09:39 am (UTC)I'm actually on the same page as Chad, though. I mean, if someone came into my house telling me they were aliens and travelling around time??.....I probably wouldn't believe them, even if other people told me it was true.
Slightly OT, in one of my baby names books, the name Chad means protector or warrior. I thought that was very fitting....
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Date: 2007-03-16 04:34 pm (UTC)Wow, that is fitting. Chad's Mary Anne's protector and warrior whether she always likes it or not.
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Date: 2008-01-10 08:57 pm (UTC)Totally...
Wow. It gets better and better!
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Date: 2008-01-11 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-11 02:18 pm (UTC)*goes off and searches*