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toxic_cornSeries: Kristy and The Doctor
Title: Chapter One - Kristy
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toxic_corn and nutmeg610
Rating: R because Kristy can be a bit of a foulmouth.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Ann M. Martin, Scholastic Books, and the BBC. Sometimes ABC even. And NBC. Okay, practically no one is ours, okay? We aren't collecting any money so pretty please don't sue? We're both broke college students.
Summary: Kristy Thomas has been doing well since her days as president of the Babysitters Club. She's about to graduate from the University of Connecticut and her best friend's finacee can get her a place in the LAPD. It looks like her future is set until a strange man in a magic blue box shows up and changes everything...
Authors' Note: Yet another pairing in the crack series. We just found the idea of The Doctor having to put up with the blunt, bossy Kristy to be funny and from there the story grew. If you think that now we are officially certifiable, you're most likely right. This follows the other stories in the crack series: Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne and Wanna Get It On, Dawn?
Check out the cover art made by Nutmeg at the organizational post here.
Chapter One - Kristy
It looks like I won't be going with you guys to Europe after graduation; something's come up. I can't really talk about it right now because nothing's for sure. But once I'm sure, I'll let you know. I'm usually never this flakey so I'm allowed to be just this once, right?
- excerpt of an email from Kristy Thomas to Stacey McGill
Kristy Thomas had her last final of the day in an hour. For the last two weeks all she'd done was study. She thought that if she had to look at her textbooks or read her notes one more time, she was going to go completely insane and have to attend graduation in a strait jacket. So she blew off cramming to go for a quick jog.
The weather was gorgeous and Kristy jogged through the little college town she lived in, taking in the scenery. All the while, her brain continued on in school-mode and she almost passed the blue box in an alleyway without a thought.
Wait. What the hell was that? Kristy backed up and peered down the alley. Police Phone Box. Looked kind of retro. Huh. Who would leave an antique like that in an alleyway? Curious, Kristy approached the box slowly. She couldn't quite understand why she felt so apprehensive as she gave the door a tug and a push and it refused to open.
On the front, she found where the phone was located and lifted it to her ear, not surprised when she didn't get a dialtone.
"Huh," she said, looking up at it.
From a distance came a loud roaring sound. Plane? No. It almost sounded like something out of Jurassic Park.
"That was not an insult towards your mother!" a voice called, coming closer. "When I insult your mother, you'll know it!" A man came running around the corner just then, a gaudy little blinking device in his hands. He slowed for a moment when he saw Kristy but another roar sent him running up to the door of the phone box. "Hello," he said to her, unlocking the door. "You might want to hide or run for your life in about ten seconds."
"That isn't a phone booth!" Kristy warned him, going in after him. "It's a-" She stopped once she was inside. Instead of a dark, cramped enclosure, she was standing in a spacious control room that glowed green.
The man stood at some controls and fiddled around with them. "Do you often march into strangers' homes?" he asked, sounding only slightly annoyed.
"No, I- This is your home?" Kristy looked around, amazed. This wasn't real, was it? Maybe her adventurous roommate, Marissa, had put PCP in her cornflakes like she was always threatening. That's just something that fucktard would do. Figured. Still, how did all of this manage to fit in a little box? "Are you with the circus?" she asked the man, wondering if maybe this was how clown cars worked.
"Circus? No." The man pulled out what looked like a futuristic screwdriver from his coat pocket when another roar came from outside. He went to the door and locked it. "There now, we'll just wait him out in here for a bit. I'm sure he'll get tired and disappear eventually."
"What, did you piss off a dinosaur?" Kristy spotted a chair near the controls and went to it, plopping down. If she was going to hallucinate, she may as well do it in comfort.
"Uh, no. He's more of a..." The man paused in mid thought and then moved on. "Well, it doesn't really matter. Point is, I asked him to leave this plan-- this place quietly before he caused trouble and he refused."
"Oh. Yeah, I know how that is. I tried to break up with my ex-boyfriend Bart once when he was drunk and it pretty much went that way. Though I didn't have to hide in a clown car-like not-phone booth thing until he went away." Nodding in understanding, Kristy started to root through her pockets until she found a pack of gum she knew she'd left there.
"Soo, this whole 'bigger on the inside' thing doesn't bother you?" He gestured to their surroundings.
"Well, considering I'm probably high from unwillingly ingesting PCP, no I suppose not. It's pretty nifty, actually. I have a few friends who would love to have this technology for their closets." She popped a piece of gum in her mouth and explained, "Fashion victims. Want a piece of gum, Mr. Hallucination?"
The man cocked his head to the side, studying her as he came over holding his hand out for gum. "You don't think I'm real?"
"Oh, you probably are. But you're most likely some construction worker trying to talk me down off a scaffold or something. Because apparently people on PCP really dig scaffolds. Here, it's minty," she said, placing a stick of gum in his outstretched hand.
"I love minty things." The man chewed at his gum and smiled at her.
"Me too. Have you ever had mint julep?"
"Oh yes. I was there when it was invented."
"No kidding?" Kristy grinned. "That's pretty cool, Mr. H."
"I'm The Doctor. And you are?"
"Kristy Thomas."
"Nice to meet you, Kristy."
"You're such a polite hallucination." Sighing, she got up. Time was flying and she had places to be. "I should probably be going. Even totally high, I still have a class I need to get to. I've got my last final today and then I'm graduating."
"Oh, well congratulations!" The Doctor smiled warmly at her but then turned serious. "I should warn you, however, that there is a very dangerous alien outside that door waiting to ingest the first thing that comes out of here, so you might want to wait a bit."
"Oh. Well, could you hand me your shoe?"
He boggled at her. "Whatever for?"
Rolling her eyes, she took off her own. "Never mind." She crossed the room and opened the door, tossing her shoe out one way and running another while the monster was distracted. "'Bye, Doctor!"
"Whoa, wait!" He chased after her. "You think a 400 lb. Angdroglab is going to be stupid enough to-- Oh, apparently he is."
"You should stay hidden in your house," Kristy said as they rounded the corner. "I have to go take my test, unless you want to come along. I'm a little old for imaginary friends but- Oh hey, what if you're like Harvey the Rabbit?"
"Harvey the Who?"
"Oh, it's this old movie with Jimmy Stewart in it. He has this invisible friend, Harvey the Rabbit? He's locked up in a mental institution and- Those girls just checked you out." Kristy stopped to walk and glanced over at the two girls sending coy looks The Doctor's way. She couldn't say that she blamed them; he was kind of cute in a dorky sort of way. Too skinny, foofy hair, pin-striped suit, and Converse sneakers on his feet.
"Hmmm? What girls?" The Doctor glanced interestedly over his shoulder.
"They just went into the bookstore. So I guess this means you're real." It explained a bit; her imagination didn't exactly run the range of strange Englishmen living in police boxes located in alleys.
"Well yes of course I'm real. If I was imaginary don't you think I'd be more interesting? Like purple with scales and horns and the ability to fly?"
"You have a magic box that's bigger on the inside than the outside. That's not exactly boring," Kristy pointed out.
"True. Point is, I'm real." He scrunched up his eyebrows in thought, glancing over at her. "Now what class are you going to?"
Kristy started to answer but stopped, looking down. "I think I have to stop by my dorm room first to change my shoes. My sock is getting dirty." Limping along with one shoe, she said glumly, "These were expensive ones my mom got me for Christmas, too. She's gonna be pissed."
"Somehow I don't think she'd believe you if you told her you threw it for an alien to chase."
Despite herself, Kristy laughed. "The look on her face would be priceless, though. My dorm's this way. Unless you're taking off, which I don't blame you. Maybe your alien dinosaur friend is gone."
"I suppose I could drop in on your class..." The Doctor said, thoughtfully.
"Why would you do that?" A sudden sharp pain in her foot made her hiss. "Ow. Rock." She stopped to pull it out of her foot.
"Strictly for fun and entertainment. C'mon, before you step on a jagged piece of glass and start bleeding all over the place."
"That would suck," Kristy agreed, throwing the rock away.
They continued on in companionable silence until they reached her dorm and went up to her room. Hopefully Marissa was out or she'd want an introduction and start interrogating The Doctor.
"I have some sneakers some place." She dropped to her knees and rooted under her bed, hyper-aware of her ass in the air. He'd seemed like a nice enough guy but Kristy was realizing too late that maybe she shouldn't have allowed a strange man into her room. Alarmed, she quickly found the sneakers and popped out from under the bed to find him innocuously picking up a photo from her desk and looking at it. Sometime during her search, he'd pulled out a pair of Buddy Holly glasses and put them on.
Relaxing, she went to his side and smiled at the picture in his hands. "That's the Baby-Sitters Club," she said, proudly.
"And what is a Baby-Sitters Club?" he asked. "Besides the obvious."
"It's the club I invented back in seventh grade," Kristy said, warming to her topic. "Basically, my friends and I met a few times a week and took calls for babysitting jobs. See, it made people's lives easier; they could call a number and reach seven experienced baby-sitters instead of calling around forever. I got to be president since it was my idea."
"I see." Kristy deflated a little at his lukewarm response as he glanced at her alarm clock. "What time does your class start?"
"In ten minutes," she said, slipping on her shoes. "I'd better run."
"Mmm, ok. You never told me which class this was."
"It's one of my psych classes. I need to take my final, like I told you, so I don't think you can come in. You should probably go back to your house." She ushered him out of her room so she could lock up.
"Oh, I'm sure I can sneak in. I have credentials and everything."
For a moment, Kristy considered him. He could pass for a graduate student. Maybe. But still, "You don't really look like a student."
He didn't look at all fazed by that. "Well, I can still get in."
Eh, if he really wanted to... She shrugged. "Okay, but you'll just be bored out of your mind. Let's go."
They both ran to the psych building, managing to keep pace with each other the whole way. Kristy made it just in time, the TA's closing the doors for good just as she slid into a seat. She nervously jiggled her leg as one of the TA's started passing out exams and she looked to The Doctor, wondering if he was going to get thrown out.
Apparently he did have credentials of some sort; he flashed a bit of paper at the biggest hardass of all the TA's and that was enough to keep him in the room.
"You may begin," the hardass TA said and everyone started bubbling in their answers.
Scanning her test sheet, Kristy was relieved to see she'd studied the material well and got to work. At the end, she was one of the first handful of students to finish and she shared a smile with The Doctor.
"I so aced that thing!!" Exuberantly, she pumped her fists in the air and hopped up and down. Thankfully her classmates had blown out of the hallway as soon as they'd finished their exams and it was just the two of them.
"I should hope so. Those questions were remarkably easy."
Kristy's eyes narrowed at his dismissive tone. "What?! This is a top level class; it isn't supposed to be easy."
He shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Well, difficult for humans maybe. This was a nice way to waste an afternoon, but I'd better try contacting that Angdroglab again before he eats someone."
Okay, ouch. That hurt. And Kristy was never one to express her hurt very well. "Waste an afternoon, huh? Yeah, by acting superior. Thanks for being a total bastard." She started walking quickly away from him, hoping he wouldn't tag along like he had earlier.
"What'd I say?" he called after her.
In answer, she simply flipped him off over her shoulder.
"Some humans," she heard him grumble as she slammed the door opened. She'd taken three angry steps when all of a sudden she was swept off her feet by a large, scaly hand. A large scaly hand attached to a large scaly alien bad thing that glared at her with its gleaming red eyes.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Kristy struggled but the creature's hold on her only grew tighter. "Ow!"
"Don't struggle; they like that!" The Doctor called from below, having run outside at the sound of her scream.
"Oh, ew." Kristy made a face, thinking of creepy S&M bondage guys and decided to go with reverse psychology. "Uh, hold me tighter, big boy?"
The Doctor held up his little screwdriver thing and seemed to scan the creature before saying, "Listen up, you glutton. You're going to put her down right now and leave this planet, or else!"
"Or he'll be really condescending and downplay your accomplishments. He's kind of an asshole," Kristy said to the monster.
"Not helping," The Doctor snapped, then focused his attention on the alien. "Well, what's your answer?"
"Or else what?" the alien sneered.
As if he'd been waiting for just that response, The Doctor whipped out a spray bottle. "Or else I'll spray you with this Ulimetor neutralizer which will break down your molecular structure and turn you into a pile of goo."
"That doesn't sound good. Better put me down," Kristy advised the creature.
"He's bluffing," the alien said, but looked a little uncertain.
"Oh yeah? Let's just see, shall we?" The Doctor moved forward as if to spray the creature and it backpedaled a few steps, dropping Kristy to the ground with a painful splat.
"Ok, ok, I'm leaving." And with that, the alien pulled out a remote control that called its space ship and it was zapped on board.
"Ohhhhh ow." Kristy rolled over and watched the ship take off. "Belly flops are not fun. So he's gone?"
"Mmm hmm. Angdroglabs are scaredy cats when it comes right down to it. They use their size to intimidate you, but they turn tail and run at the first sign of danger." He continued staring where the ship had taken off as if to make sure it wasn't coming back.
"Sound like teenage boys." She eased up painfully to her elbows, wincing. "Thank you."
"Not a problem." He offered her a hand and she gratefully took it.
"Sorry I flipped you the bird earlier," she said sheepishly.
"That's alright. No harm done."
Kristy fingered the scrape on her chin and gave him a look. "Yeah."
"Well, to me anyways. Come along; I'll clean that up for you."
"You're the doctor." She walked along slowly and carefully, feeling like one gigantic bruise.
"And you're Kristy Thomas. Is that short for Kristina?"
"Kristin. I've always been Kristy, though."
"Ah, very well."
As they walked, Kristy watched all the people they passed moving along normally, as if a giant dinosaur-like creature hadn't been running around roaring not five minutes ago. It made her a little uneasy, like she'd imagined it had happened or something. But The Doctor had seen it. He'd probably seen a lot, judging by how laid back he was acting.
"Why's everyone acting so normal?" she asked, unable to take it anymore. "Did they not see that huge Ambaflab thingy?"
"It's been my experience that some people are delightfully ignorant of the world around them. That goes double for college students, yourself excluded of course."
"Gee, thank you."
"You're most welcome." Having reached the alley where his little house was, he held the door open for her and she limped inside, sighing.
"You don't even realize how condescending you can be, do you? And my friends say that I have little self-awareness."
"I can't help it if I am. Being nine centuries old and belonging to a far more intelligent race tends to make it difficult to sympathize with a tiny speck of a planet that's just starting out."
"So leave us alone, then," she said, irritably, but then some of what he said sank in. "Wait, you're not human?"
"Nope."
"But..." She gripped his chin in her fingers and turned his head from side to side, getting a good look. "You look pretty humanoid to me."
"Many aliens have what you refer to as 'humanoid' forms," he said a little stiffly.
"But this is so detailed. Look, you've even got freckles." She grinned, amused.
He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Detailed? I'm not a robot or... oh, what are those things from that television program...? Cylons? I'm an alien, alright?"
"Okay, okay, there's no need to get all huffy."
The Doctor went to the controls and opened a little cabinet, pulling out a first aid kit while frowning. "I wasn't huffy, merely mildly perturbed."
"Well, there's no need to get all mildly perturbed." Her laughter made her wince in pain, rubbing her tummy. "Oh geez..." Not really wanting to look but knowing that she had to, Kristy lifted her shirt to reveal her belly rapidly turning black and blue. "Darn, and at the beginning of bikini season, too," she said, sarcastically.
"Well, I'll see what I can do, but the best thing for a bruise is to let it heal in its own time." The Doctor winced in sympathy then grabbed her chin. "Hold still."
She hissed softly as he wiped antiseptic on her scrape. But like he said, she held still and she took advantage of the quiet and his proximity to really study him. Definitely cute. Not really her type, though. She preferred jocks. Not the meathead ones who couldn't find America on the map, but guys that enjoyed being as active as she did. A brain was a prerequisite for hanging out with Kristy Thomas that was for sure. But he also needed... Freckles.
Scattered across The Doctor's nose and cheeks were little freckles. Kristy stared at them, wondering how many there could be.
"Would you like a bandage?"
"Huh?" she asked.
"A bandage? For your chin?"
"Oh." She tried to blink herself out of her little moment. "Yeah, I guess."
"Alright." He rummaged around in the kit until he found a bandage and gently placed it on her chin. "There."
"Thank you," Kristy said, softly.
"You're welcome, Kristy Thomas."
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I should... probably..."
"Right," The Doctor said, stepping back. "I guess so."
"Well. Maybe I can come back and visit. Funny little house in the alleyway, I think I can find it again." She smiled, rolling her eyes playfully.
The Doctor didn't smile back. "I uh, I won't be staying. This isn't just my home; it's a spaceship and time machine."
"Wow. And I thought the shampoo and conditioner in one bottle thing was tough to wrap my mind around." Her joking smile faded to a look of disappointment. "Well, goodbye then, Doctor."
"Right," he said again. "Goodbye." He shuffled his feet before looking up at her. "Um, I mean, unless you, uh, you would like to... come with me."
Traveling in a spaceship/time machine? When would she ever get an offer like that again? She grinned. "Oh. Wow, that... that would be great." But then reality set in and her face fell. "But I've got commencement coming up and my best friend's fiancée is writing me this letter of recommendation so I can become a police officer. I've got all these plans that..."
"Oh, well right, of course, I understand." He crossed his arms. "So, I suppose this is it."
"Yeah." She started towards the door but then paused. "Wait, you said time machine, right?"
"Yes."
She tried for a casual shrug. "Maybe you can show up after commencement and we could give this a try? For a while at least?"
"For awhile, yes," he said a little darkly then straightened up. "Alright, I'l be back after commencement, barring any intergalactic wars that keep me delayed."
"Okay. I'll let you get to that. See ya, Doctor."
"See you soon."
With one last smile, she was out the door. But when she heard a strange whooshing behind her, she turned and watched The Doctor's blue Police Box fade from sight.
"Right," she said, not expecting to see him again.
~*~
It was official: Kristy Thomas was a college graduate. Clutching her diploma, she accepted hugs from her mom and Watson, her brothers and sisters, and just couldn't stop smiling for the life of her.
Then there came a familiar whooshing sound and the blue box appeared on the lawn a few feet away.
"What in the-" Watson started to say as the ship materialized.
"There's my ride," Kristy said. She accepted the dufflebag she'd packed just in case from her step-sister Karen and ran over to the ship just as The Doctor threw the doors open.
"Hello," he said, cheerily. "Congratulations, Kristy!"
"Thanks! 'Bye you guys, I'll see you in a few months, okay?" Kristy turned to her stunned family.
"Kristin, where are you going?" her mother asked.
"I told you all about this. This is The Doctor and this is his spaceship slash time machine."
"The TARDIS," The Doctor added.
Her mother looked troubled. "I thought you were kidding."
"Well, no, here it is." She patted the side of the TARDIS to illustrate that fact. "This is better than paying for a trip to Europe, right? I promise I'll be back in..." She paused and looked at The Doctor. "When will we be back?"
"Oh, it's hard to say, the TARDIS can be a bit unpredictable. I could try for twelve hours, but it might turn into twelve months again."
That didn't seem to go over well with the parents as their frowns deepened. "Uh, I'll be back eventually." She followed The Doctor onboard and waved. "Goodbye!"
"Bye, Kristy!" Karen called. "Have fun with the crazy spaceman!"
Then the doors closed and the TARDIS faded away.
: Chapter Two - The Graxmab Came Back
Title: Chapter One - Kristy
Author:
toxic_corn and nutmeg610Rating: R because Kristy can be a bit of a foulmouth.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Ann M. Martin, Scholastic Books, and the BBC. Sometimes ABC even. And NBC. Okay, practically no one is ours, okay? We aren't collecting any money so pretty please don't sue? We're both broke college students.
Summary: Kristy Thomas has been doing well since her days as president of the Babysitters Club. She's about to graduate from the University of Connecticut and her best friend's finacee can get her a place in the LAPD. It looks like her future is set until a strange man in a magic blue box shows up and changes everything...
Authors' Note: Yet another pairing in the crack series. We just found the idea of The Doctor having to put up with the blunt, bossy Kristy to be funny and from there the story grew. If you think that now we are officially certifiable, you're most likely right. This follows the other stories in the crack series: Your Boyfriend Snorts Cocaine, Mary Anne and Wanna Get It On, Dawn?
Check out the cover art made by Nutmeg at the organizational post here.
It looks like I won't be going with you guys to Europe after graduation; something's come up. I can't really talk about it right now because nothing's for sure. But once I'm sure, I'll let you know. I'm usually never this flakey so I'm allowed to be just this once, right?
- excerpt of an email from Kristy Thomas to Stacey McGill
Kristy Thomas had her last final of the day in an hour. For the last two weeks all she'd done was study. She thought that if she had to look at her textbooks or read her notes one more time, she was going to go completely insane and have to attend graduation in a strait jacket. So she blew off cramming to go for a quick jog.
The weather was gorgeous and Kristy jogged through the little college town she lived in, taking in the scenery. All the while, her brain continued on in school-mode and she almost passed the blue box in an alleyway without a thought.
Wait. What the hell was that? Kristy backed up and peered down the alley. Police Phone Box. Looked kind of retro. Huh. Who would leave an antique like that in an alleyway? Curious, Kristy approached the box slowly. She couldn't quite understand why she felt so apprehensive as she gave the door a tug and a push and it refused to open.
On the front, she found where the phone was located and lifted it to her ear, not surprised when she didn't get a dialtone.
"Huh," she said, looking up at it.
From a distance came a loud roaring sound. Plane? No. It almost sounded like something out of Jurassic Park.
"That was not an insult towards your mother!" a voice called, coming closer. "When I insult your mother, you'll know it!" A man came running around the corner just then, a gaudy little blinking device in his hands. He slowed for a moment when he saw Kristy but another roar sent him running up to the door of the phone box. "Hello," he said to her, unlocking the door. "You might want to hide or run for your life in about ten seconds."
"That isn't a phone booth!" Kristy warned him, going in after him. "It's a-" She stopped once she was inside. Instead of a dark, cramped enclosure, she was standing in a spacious control room that glowed green.
The man stood at some controls and fiddled around with them. "Do you often march into strangers' homes?" he asked, sounding only slightly annoyed.
"No, I- This is your home?" Kristy looked around, amazed. This wasn't real, was it? Maybe her adventurous roommate, Marissa, had put PCP in her cornflakes like she was always threatening. That's just something that fucktard would do. Figured. Still, how did all of this manage to fit in a little box? "Are you with the circus?" she asked the man, wondering if maybe this was how clown cars worked.
"Circus? No." The man pulled out what looked like a futuristic screwdriver from his coat pocket when another roar came from outside. He went to the door and locked it. "There now, we'll just wait him out in here for a bit. I'm sure he'll get tired and disappear eventually."
"What, did you piss off a dinosaur?" Kristy spotted a chair near the controls and went to it, plopping down. If she was going to hallucinate, she may as well do it in comfort.
"Uh, no. He's more of a..." The man paused in mid thought and then moved on. "Well, it doesn't really matter. Point is, I asked him to leave this plan-- this place quietly before he caused trouble and he refused."
"Oh. Yeah, I know how that is. I tried to break up with my ex-boyfriend Bart once when he was drunk and it pretty much went that way. Though I didn't have to hide in a clown car-like not-phone booth thing until he went away." Nodding in understanding, Kristy started to root through her pockets until she found a pack of gum she knew she'd left there.
"Soo, this whole 'bigger on the inside' thing doesn't bother you?" He gestured to their surroundings.
"Well, considering I'm probably high from unwillingly ingesting PCP, no I suppose not. It's pretty nifty, actually. I have a few friends who would love to have this technology for their closets." She popped a piece of gum in her mouth and explained, "Fashion victims. Want a piece of gum, Mr. Hallucination?"
The man cocked his head to the side, studying her as he came over holding his hand out for gum. "You don't think I'm real?"
"Oh, you probably are. But you're most likely some construction worker trying to talk me down off a scaffold or something. Because apparently people on PCP really dig scaffolds. Here, it's minty," she said, placing a stick of gum in his outstretched hand.
"I love minty things." The man chewed at his gum and smiled at her.
"Me too. Have you ever had mint julep?"
"Oh yes. I was there when it was invented."
"No kidding?" Kristy grinned. "That's pretty cool, Mr. H."
"I'm The Doctor. And you are?"
"Kristy Thomas."
"Nice to meet you, Kristy."
"You're such a polite hallucination." Sighing, she got up. Time was flying and she had places to be. "I should probably be going. Even totally high, I still have a class I need to get to. I've got my last final today and then I'm graduating."
"Oh, well congratulations!" The Doctor smiled warmly at her but then turned serious. "I should warn you, however, that there is a very dangerous alien outside that door waiting to ingest the first thing that comes out of here, so you might want to wait a bit."
"Oh. Well, could you hand me your shoe?"
He boggled at her. "Whatever for?"
Rolling her eyes, she took off her own. "Never mind." She crossed the room and opened the door, tossing her shoe out one way and running another while the monster was distracted. "'Bye, Doctor!"
"Whoa, wait!" He chased after her. "You think a 400 lb. Angdroglab is going to be stupid enough to-- Oh, apparently he is."
"You should stay hidden in your house," Kristy said as they rounded the corner. "I have to go take my test, unless you want to come along. I'm a little old for imaginary friends but- Oh hey, what if you're like Harvey the Rabbit?"
"Harvey the Who?"
"Oh, it's this old movie with Jimmy Stewart in it. He has this invisible friend, Harvey the Rabbit? He's locked up in a mental institution and- Those girls just checked you out." Kristy stopped to walk and glanced over at the two girls sending coy looks The Doctor's way. She couldn't say that she blamed them; he was kind of cute in a dorky sort of way. Too skinny, foofy hair, pin-striped suit, and Converse sneakers on his feet.
"Hmmm? What girls?" The Doctor glanced interestedly over his shoulder.
"They just went into the bookstore. So I guess this means you're real." It explained a bit; her imagination didn't exactly run the range of strange Englishmen living in police boxes located in alleys.
"Well yes of course I'm real. If I was imaginary don't you think I'd be more interesting? Like purple with scales and horns and the ability to fly?"
"You have a magic box that's bigger on the inside than the outside. That's not exactly boring," Kristy pointed out.
"True. Point is, I'm real." He scrunched up his eyebrows in thought, glancing over at her. "Now what class are you going to?"
Kristy started to answer but stopped, looking down. "I think I have to stop by my dorm room first to change my shoes. My sock is getting dirty." Limping along with one shoe, she said glumly, "These were expensive ones my mom got me for Christmas, too. She's gonna be pissed."
"Somehow I don't think she'd believe you if you told her you threw it for an alien to chase."
Despite herself, Kristy laughed. "The look on her face would be priceless, though. My dorm's this way. Unless you're taking off, which I don't blame you. Maybe your alien dinosaur friend is gone."
"I suppose I could drop in on your class..." The Doctor said, thoughtfully.
"Why would you do that?" A sudden sharp pain in her foot made her hiss. "Ow. Rock." She stopped to pull it out of her foot.
"Strictly for fun and entertainment. C'mon, before you step on a jagged piece of glass and start bleeding all over the place."
"That would suck," Kristy agreed, throwing the rock away.
They continued on in companionable silence until they reached her dorm and went up to her room. Hopefully Marissa was out or she'd want an introduction and start interrogating The Doctor.
"I have some sneakers some place." She dropped to her knees and rooted under her bed, hyper-aware of her ass in the air. He'd seemed like a nice enough guy but Kristy was realizing too late that maybe she shouldn't have allowed a strange man into her room. Alarmed, she quickly found the sneakers and popped out from under the bed to find him innocuously picking up a photo from her desk and looking at it. Sometime during her search, he'd pulled out a pair of Buddy Holly glasses and put them on.
Relaxing, she went to his side and smiled at the picture in his hands. "That's the Baby-Sitters Club," she said, proudly.
"And what is a Baby-Sitters Club?" he asked. "Besides the obvious."
"It's the club I invented back in seventh grade," Kristy said, warming to her topic. "Basically, my friends and I met a few times a week and took calls for babysitting jobs. See, it made people's lives easier; they could call a number and reach seven experienced baby-sitters instead of calling around forever. I got to be president since it was my idea."
"I see." Kristy deflated a little at his lukewarm response as he glanced at her alarm clock. "What time does your class start?"
"In ten minutes," she said, slipping on her shoes. "I'd better run."
"Mmm, ok. You never told me which class this was."
"It's one of my psych classes. I need to take my final, like I told you, so I don't think you can come in. You should probably go back to your house." She ushered him out of her room so she could lock up.
"Oh, I'm sure I can sneak in. I have credentials and everything."
For a moment, Kristy considered him. He could pass for a graduate student. Maybe. But still, "You don't really look like a student."
He didn't look at all fazed by that. "Well, I can still get in."
Eh, if he really wanted to... She shrugged. "Okay, but you'll just be bored out of your mind. Let's go."
They both ran to the psych building, managing to keep pace with each other the whole way. Kristy made it just in time, the TA's closing the doors for good just as she slid into a seat. She nervously jiggled her leg as one of the TA's started passing out exams and she looked to The Doctor, wondering if he was going to get thrown out.
Apparently he did have credentials of some sort; he flashed a bit of paper at the biggest hardass of all the TA's and that was enough to keep him in the room.
"You may begin," the hardass TA said and everyone started bubbling in their answers.
Scanning her test sheet, Kristy was relieved to see she'd studied the material well and got to work. At the end, she was one of the first handful of students to finish and she shared a smile with The Doctor.
"I so aced that thing!!" Exuberantly, she pumped her fists in the air and hopped up and down. Thankfully her classmates had blown out of the hallway as soon as they'd finished their exams and it was just the two of them.
"I should hope so. Those questions were remarkably easy."
Kristy's eyes narrowed at his dismissive tone. "What?! This is a top level class; it isn't supposed to be easy."
He shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Well, difficult for humans maybe. This was a nice way to waste an afternoon, but I'd better try contacting that Angdroglab again before he eats someone."
Okay, ouch. That hurt. And Kristy was never one to express her hurt very well. "Waste an afternoon, huh? Yeah, by acting superior. Thanks for being a total bastard." She started walking quickly away from him, hoping he wouldn't tag along like he had earlier.
"What'd I say?" he called after her.
In answer, she simply flipped him off over her shoulder.
"Some humans," she heard him grumble as she slammed the door opened. She'd taken three angry steps when all of a sudden she was swept off her feet by a large, scaly hand. A large scaly hand attached to a large scaly alien bad thing that glared at her with its gleaming red eyes.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Kristy struggled but the creature's hold on her only grew tighter. "Ow!"
"Don't struggle; they like that!" The Doctor called from below, having run outside at the sound of her scream.
"Oh, ew." Kristy made a face, thinking of creepy S&M bondage guys and decided to go with reverse psychology. "Uh, hold me tighter, big boy?"
The Doctor held up his little screwdriver thing and seemed to scan the creature before saying, "Listen up, you glutton. You're going to put her down right now and leave this planet, or else!"
"Or he'll be really condescending and downplay your accomplishments. He's kind of an asshole," Kristy said to the monster.
"Not helping," The Doctor snapped, then focused his attention on the alien. "Well, what's your answer?"
"Or else what?" the alien sneered.
As if he'd been waiting for just that response, The Doctor whipped out a spray bottle. "Or else I'll spray you with this Ulimetor neutralizer which will break down your molecular structure and turn you into a pile of goo."
"That doesn't sound good. Better put me down," Kristy advised the creature.
"He's bluffing," the alien said, but looked a little uncertain.
"Oh yeah? Let's just see, shall we?" The Doctor moved forward as if to spray the creature and it backpedaled a few steps, dropping Kristy to the ground with a painful splat.
"Ok, ok, I'm leaving." And with that, the alien pulled out a remote control that called its space ship and it was zapped on board.
"Ohhhhh ow." Kristy rolled over and watched the ship take off. "Belly flops are not fun. So he's gone?"
"Mmm hmm. Angdroglabs are scaredy cats when it comes right down to it. They use their size to intimidate you, but they turn tail and run at the first sign of danger." He continued staring where the ship had taken off as if to make sure it wasn't coming back.
"Sound like teenage boys." She eased up painfully to her elbows, wincing. "Thank you."
"Not a problem." He offered her a hand and she gratefully took it.
"Sorry I flipped you the bird earlier," she said sheepishly.
"That's alright. No harm done."
Kristy fingered the scrape on her chin and gave him a look. "Yeah."
"Well, to me anyways. Come along; I'll clean that up for you."
"You're the doctor." She walked along slowly and carefully, feeling like one gigantic bruise.
"And you're Kristy Thomas. Is that short for Kristina?"
"Kristin. I've always been Kristy, though."
"Ah, very well."
As they walked, Kristy watched all the people they passed moving along normally, as if a giant dinosaur-like creature hadn't been running around roaring not five minutes ago. It made her a little uneasy, like she'd imagined it had happened or something. But The Doctor had seen it. He'd probably seen a lot, judging by how laid back he was acting.
"Why's everyone acting so normal?" she asked, unable to take it anymore. "Did they not see that huge Ambaflab thingy?"
"It's been my experience that some people are delightfully ignorant of the world around them. That goes double for college students, yourself excluded of course."
"Gee, thank you."
"You're most welcome." Having reached the alley where his little house was, he held the door open for her and she limped inside, sighing.
"You don't even realize how condescending you can be, do you? And my friends say that I have little self-awareness."
"I can't help it if I am. Being nine centuries old and belonging to a far more intelligent race tends to make it difficult to sympathize with a tiny speck of a planet that's just starting out."
"So leave us alone, then," she said, irritably, but then some of what he said sank in. "Wait, you're not human?"
"Nope."
"But..." She gripped his chin in her fingers and turned his head from side to side, getting a good look. "You look pretty humanoid to me."
"Many aliens have what you refer to as 'humanoid' forms," he said a little stiffly.
"But this is so detailed. Look, you've even got freckles." She grinned, amused.
He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Detailed? I'm not a robot or... oh, what are those things from that television program...? Cylons? I'm an alien, alright?"
"Okay, okay, there's no need to get all huffy."
The Doctor went to the controls and opened a little cabinet, pulling out a first aid kit while frowning. "I wasn't huffy, merely mildly perturbed."
"Well, there's no need to get all mildly perturbed." Her laughter made her wince in pain, rubbing her tummy. "Oh geez..." Not really wanting to look but knowing that she had to, Kristy lifted her shirt to reveal her belly rapidly turning black and blue. "Darn, and at the beginning of bikini season, too," she said, sarcastically.
"Well, I'll see what I can do, but the best thing for a bruise is to let it heal in its own time." The Doctor winced in sympathy then grabbed her chin. "Hold still."
She hissed softly as he wiped antiseptic on her scrape. But like he said, she held still and she took advantage of the quiet and his proximity to really study him. Definitely cute. Not really her type, though. She preferred jocks. Not the meathead ones who couldn't find America on the map, but guys that enjoyed being as active as she did. A brain was a prerequisite for hanging out with Kristy Thomas that was for sure. But he also needed... Freckles.
Scattered across The Doctor's nose and cheeks were little freckles. Kristy stared at them, wondering how many there could be.
"Would you like a bandage?"
"Huh?" she asked.
"A bandage? For your chin?"
"Oh." She tried to blink herself out of her little moment. "Yeah, I guess."
"Alright." He rummaged around in the kit until he found a bandage and gently placed it on her chin. "There."
"Thank you," Kristy said, softly.
"You're welcome, Kristy Thomas."
A smile slowly spread across her face. "I should... probably..."
"Right," The Doctor said, stepping back. "I guess so."
"Well. Maybe I can come back and visit. Funny little house in the alleyway, I think I can find it again." She smiled, rolling her eyes playfully.
The Doctor didn't smile back. "I uh, I won't be staying. This isn't just my home; it's a spaceship and time machine."
"Wow. And I thought the shampoo and conditioner in one bottle thing was tough to wrap my mind around." Her joking smile faded to a look of disappointment. "Well, goodbye then, Doctor."
"Right," he said again. "Goodbye." He shuffled his feet before looking up at her. "Um, I mean, unless you, uh, you would like to... come with me."
Traveling in a spaceship/time machine? When would she ever get an offer like that again? She grinned. "Oh. Wow, that... that would be great." But then reality set in and her face fell. "But I've got commencement coming up and my best friend's fiancée is writing me this letter of recommendation so I can become a police officer. I've got all these plans that..."
"Oh, well right, of course, I understand." He crossed his arms. "So, I suppose this is it."
"Yeah." She started towards the door but then paused. "Wait, you said time machine, right?"
"Yes."
She tried for a casual shrug. "Maybe you can show up after commencement and we could give this a try? For a while at least?"
"For awhile, yes," he said a little darkly then straightened up. "Alright, I'l be back after commencement, barring any intergalactic wars that keep me delayed."
"Okay. I'll let you get to that. See ya, Doctor."
"See you soon."
With one last smile, she was out the door. But when she heard a strange whooshing behind her, she turned and watched The Doctor's blue Police Box fade from sight.
"Right," she said, not expecting to see him again.
It was official: Kristy Thomas was a college graduate. Clutching her diploma, she accepted hugs from her mom and Watson, her brothers and sisters, and just couldn't stop smiling for the life of her.
Then there came a familiar whooshing sound and the blue box appeared on the lawn a few feet away.
"What in the-" Watson started to say as the ship materialized.
"There's my ride," Kristy said. She accepted the dufflebag she'd packed just in case from her step-sister Karen and ran over to the ship just as The Doctor threw the doors open.
"Hello," he said, cheerily. "Congratulations, Kristy!"
"Thanks! 'Bye you guys, I'll see you in a few months, okay?" Kristy turned to her stunned family.
"Kristin, where are you going?" her mother asked.
"I told you all about this. This is The Doctor and this is his spaceship slash time machine."
"The TARDIS," The Doctor added.
Her mother looked troubled. "I thought you were kidding."
"Well, no, here it is." She patted the side of the TARDIS to illustrate that fact. "This is better than paying for a trip to Europe, right? I promise I'll be back in..." She paused and looked at The Doctor. "When will we be back?"
"Oh, it's hard to say, the TARDIS can be a bit unpredictable. I could try for twelve hours, but it might turn into twelve months again."
That didn't seem to go over well with the parents as their frowns deepened. "Uh, I'll be back eventually." She followed The Doctor onboard and waved. "Goodbye!"
"Bye, Kristy!" Karen called. "Have fun with the crazy spaceman!"
Then the doors closed and the TARDIS faded away.
: Chapter Two - The Graxmab Came Back
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Date: 2007-03-12 10:19 pm (UTC)I love how she just threw her shoe out there and took off...from the "Ambaflab thing".
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Date: 2007-03-12 10:34 pm (UTC)As for Claudia... *wince* We have plans for her that do not involve Jayne and are probably even more cracktastic than this fic will end up being. *face palm*
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Date: 2007-03-12 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-12 11:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-12 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-12 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 01:38 am (UTC)*tacklehugs*
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Date: 2007-03-13 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 10:23 am (UTC)And who doesn't love Ten? (Heh. "Who".)
I'm so glad you guys are still doing Teh Crack!
*starts thinking about larger countries to invade for you* How about Belgium?
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Date: 2007-03-13 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-13 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-10 04:10 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2008-01-10 07:59 pm (UTC)