toxic_corn | Raynekid Fic for aikiariyen's request

Title: Five Times Jayne Didn't Want to Be a Dad
Author:

toxic_corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except the kids.
Notes: Written for the Five fic meme. As per the request, I kept this as fluffy as possible but it was hard because the angst really wanted to come out and play.

for

aikiariyen

1. Doubts

As River slept, Jayne lightly touched her belly where his child was growing inside. His child. He was going to be a daddy. When River had announced this to him earlier in the evening, a surge of possessive joy had brought them down here to their bunk to celebrate. Now that he'd calmed a little, the excitement faded and fear started to creep in.

What if he wasn't able to provide for his family? What if River got sick of him and left and he never got to see her or the kid? What if something went wrong during the pregnancy and River and the baby died? What if he lost his temper with the child when it got older and ended up hurting it?

Why the hell did River think he could do this?! He wasn't father material; he was a mercenary, muscle, a bad man.

"Shh," River whispered and rolled over to face him. "You'll surprise yourself."

"Yeah?" he asked, daring to hope.

She nodded. "Yeah."

Looking into her eyes, he nodded back. "Okay."

END

2. Tears

"Come on, Jamey," Jayne begged the crying child in his arms. "Take the bottle."

Jamey turned his head away, sobbing his little heart out.

Frustrated, Jayne set the bottle on the table and shifted his son in his arms until his head lay on his shoulder. He rubbed the little guy's back and made the shushing noise that River made but the kid just get on howling.

Fine time to go to the store, when their son was apparently possessed by Satan. He fumed, planning what he was going to say when River came back home.

"Jamey," Jayne said. "Come on, boy. Stop cryin'. Do ya wanna play with your bear? Yeah, let's go get your bear." He stood up and went out to the living room where the playpen was, fishing out the stuffed bear. "There he is! It's Bear! Ain't we happy to see Bear?"

Jamey continued crying.

"Guess we ain't." Jayne dropped the toy back into the playpen. "Okay, you wanna go sleep? I bet you're fussy cuz you're tired." He carried the baby back to his bedroom and set him down gently in his crib.

Tears kept spilling down Jamey's cheeks.

"Well, you're through teething, so I don't know what the hell else is wrong," Jayne snapped. "Just stop it!"

For a wild second, he thought of just walking out the door and never coming back. He'd even moved a little but then Jamey lifted his head and looked up at him with sad, teary eyes. The boy had River's eyes.

River.

Jayne leaned over the crib. "You miss your mama, huh?" Jamey whimpered and Jayne nodded. "Yeah. I miss 'er too. Don't get to see either of you as much as I'd like. But I make more working out in the black than I would here. I'd take ya with me but a spaceship ain't a place to raise a critter." He reached out and tickled Jamey's belly. The boy's watery giggle made him smile. "Yeah, your daddy ain't so bad, is he Baby J?"

Jamey sniffled and Jayne grabbed a tissue from nearby and wiped at his boy's nose. "Since you got yourself all upset, I guess I'm gonna hafta sing ya to sleep, aren't I?" Jayne smiled and tossed the used tissue into the trash. "How 'bout something my pop used to sing to me when I was around your age? Well, he sang it to me when I got bigger, too. Otherwise I wouldn't remember it."

Gently, he pushed Jamey so he was laying down and pulled his stars and planets blankie over him as he started to sing.

"If I had words to make a day for you, I'd sing you a morning golden and new. I would make this day last for all time and give you a night deep in moonshine." He kept singing, even after the boy fell asleep.

END

*Yes, that was the song from Babe. But it's adorable, okay?

3. Of Course

Since Jayne had made good on his promise to River not to get drunk anymore, she allowed him to do it only on special occasions. His ma had sent him a bottle of the finest whiskey in the verse, made right on his own homeworld. Since everyone else on board hadn't slept well in weeks, Jayne had shared it until there wasn't much left. He hadn't even gotten any yet.

Sleepily, he poured some into a cup. The reason no one was sleeping was all the kids had caught some super-flu that pained them all something awful; he could've sworn that Jamey was going to barf up his lung, he was hacking so hard. And poor Nettie could hardly breathe, her nose was so stopped up. Why the hell the kids chose their summer break to get sick was beyond him.

"Hi, Daddy." Jayne looked up to find Nettie in the doorway. Her hair was in disarray and she had her nightgown on backwards.

"Hey, little bit. What're ya doin' up?" he asked her.

"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday," she said, wiping at her running nose. "Happy Birthday, Daddy."

A grin slowly spread across his face. "Well, thanks. You want some juice while you're up here?"

"Yes, please." She pranced over and pulled out the chair next to him, smiling expectantly.

Chuckling, Jayne stood up and ruffled her hair before going to get the juice. Then disaster struck.

ACHOOO!

"Um, Daddy?"

He winced, hanging his head.

"I just got sneeze juice in your drink."

Of course.

END

*"Sneeze juice" is

katsqueaks's word. Thank you for introducing it to me, Kat!

4. Good Example

Jayne had never been screwed so badly on a deal before. The bastard behind the counter had the nerve to grin at him and Jayne wanted nothing more than to punch his face in.

You must set a good example for our children, River had warned him earlier in the day.

Grinding his teeth, Jayne accepted his bag of over-priced candy and handed it to his bright-eyed kids.

His fist itched. Oh, that son of a bitch was lucky Jayne was a daddy...

END

5. The Little Bit

Jayne was the last to the hospital, hurrying as fast as his trick knee would allow him. What room was Nettie in? 211. He went up to the front desk of the fancy Alliance hospital.

"Hey, the girl in 211. I'm her pa, how's she doin'?" Jayne demanded.

The nurse gave him a cross look and searched the hospital's computer for the information. Her eyes widened in a way he didn't like.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm afraid... There's Dr. Franklin, he was your daughter's physician."

"Was?" Jayne repeated.

Dr. Franklin walked up and gently cupped Jayne's elbow. "Sir, could you step this way please?"

"Let go of me!" Jayne bellowed. "Where the hell is my daughter?"

"She didn't make it, sir. I'm terribly sorry."

"You're... You're sorry?!" Jayne stared at the man in horror. "That was my little girl! What... about her baby?"

"We lost the baby as well," the doctor said, quietly.

Jayne slumped against the wall. His little bit was... She couldn't be. She was supposed to outlive him. In his mind's eye, he could see her as a baby, shaking her little fist and smiling at him. That smile of hers could light up a room.

How could this have happened? She'd had two children already, it wasn't like this was anything new to her. Weren't Alliance doctors supposed to be the best? How the hell could they botch something everyday like delivering a baby?

The pain was too much and Jayne clutched at his chest, trying to breathe.

"Sir-" Dr. Franklin reached out for him but Jayne lashed out, catching the man across the face.

"Don't touch me, you murderer!" Jayne snarled. Getting married had been such a bad idea. If he hadn't, he never would've had Nettie and he wouldn't be feeling this way now. Oh god. River. "Does... does my wife know?"

"You're the first family member I've told." Dr. Franklin rubbed his face, wincing.

"Jayne!" He turned and his heart sank as River crossed the lobby to him, smiling sweetly. She didn't know. How could she not know? "Where have you been? Come see Nettie!"

"Riv, she's gone." Jayne swallowed thickly. She was gone.

Confusion crinkled River's forehead. "Who's gone?"

"Nettie. The doctor here told me." Jayne nodded at Dr. Franklin.

"But... that's impossible." River frowned. "I was just with her. She and the baby were fine."

Jayne's jaw dropped. "She and the baby...?" He looked over at the doctor. "Serenity Jane?"

The doctor turned pale. "Er, no."

"What the hell?" Jayne exploded at the man.

"You said 211!" the doctor said, defensively.

"Nettie's in room 122," River said, gently. She took Jayne's arm. "She's alive and well and wants you to meet her little girl."

Relief made him sag. "Yeah? She had a girl?"

"Yes. And she's beautiful; come and see."

River led Jayne away as the doctor took a deep breath and started dreading finding the real family.

THE END