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toxic_cornSeries: When I Was A Boy
Title: Just What I Needed (11/12)
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss but Jamey's mine.
Summary: "I don't wanna be like him."
Warning: Raynekid fic. The central focus is NOT Rayne.
Notes: The Sequel series to Songs From a Firefly. To catch up on this series, check out the organizational post.
Just What I Needed
Ever since Emmaline had come on board, she’d been careful to never be alone with Jamey. That wasn’t too difficult to do in their tiny ship with so many people on board, but it didn’t stop Jamey from trying.
He’d sit at the mess table, fiddling with wires and peeking under his lashes at her as she bustled around the kitchen. She’d cut her hair since joining the crew and her bangs would hang in her eyes and she had this cute way of blowing them out of the way that made him grin. Then she’d catch him grinning and glare at him until he either went back to work or left the room entirely.
What was with him, wanting women he could never have? Emmaline was beautiful and sweet and funny and hated his guts.
Guess he was never going to have somebody.
~*~
“’Nara’s got an announcement to make,” Cap said that night at dinner. “’Nara.”
She looked at him for a moment and then cleared her throat. “I’m leaving next week.”
“Why?” Kaylee exclaimed, anguished.
“But you can’t leave!” Anna looked close to tears. “You’re Inara!”
Inara touched Anna’s cheek. “I’ve been offered the House Priestess position. I’d be foolish not to take it.”
“I thought you liked it here,” Anna said, petulantly.
“I do, sweetie.” Inara’s tone was gentle. “But I think I’ve outgrown my place here.” She looked at Cap after that and then turned back to Anna and Kaylee. “You can always visit me.”
As everyone gathered around Inara to protest or cry or say goodbye, Jamey noticed Cap slip from the room. He was just going to let her go? It was obvious to everyone on board that Cap loved Inara and she loved him back. So why couldn’t they-
Jamey looked over everyone’s heads at Emmaline. He caught her staring at him and she quickly gave him a nasty look to cover it up.
Interesting.
~*~
“I don’t wanna be like him.”
Emmaline looked up from chopping carrots. “Excuse me?”
“Cap.” Jamey walked towards her slowly, with purpose. “I didn’t realize it, but I’ve been acting like him my whole damn life. See something I want but either I don’t make the move or make it too damn late. I don’t want it to happen like that again.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, nervously.
Jamey stopped in front of her and didn’t speak until her eyes were on his. “I’m in love with you. I have been ever since I went up to you at that bar and you told me you were drinking lager.”
She turned pink. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do. And I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love somebody.”
Emmaline turned back to her chopping. “You only want me because you can’t have Lady.”
Jamey shook his head. “No. She was always a dream, something I knew I was never going to have. You’re real and I love every single damn thing about you.”
“Especially that I was a whore, right?” she snapped.
“I still would’ve tried to get you on this ship, even if you’d been that dishwasher on Main Street when I met you.” Jamey reached out to touch her but she recoiled. “Emmaline?”
“I’m too old for you.”
“You’re three years older than me and I’m an adult. What’s the problem?”
She looked away. “The problem is that I’m not interested.”
“Look me in the face and say that.”
With difficulty, she raised her eyes to his but didn’t say anything.
“You don’t get many chances at happiness out here,” Jamey whispered. “Why are you fighting this?”
“Because you didn’t want me the way I was. You wanted to make me better.” She blinked and some of her tears spilled.
Jamey stared at her. “What?!”
“You got me this job here-”
“Because you weren’t happy! I couldn’t stand seeing you so miserable, not when I could do something to help you!”
She laughed, bitterly. “Big damn hero, huh?”
He tried to deny it but laughed, shaking his head. “You sound like Nettie.” But he sobered and took hold of her hand. “I’m sorry I made you think that. Try to understand that I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you weren’t good enough. I’ve got this… habit of helping whether it’s asked for or not. It may come across heavy-handed sometimes but I honestly don’t mean any harm. I’ve never thought you were inferior. No one could ever think that about you.”
“But they did,” she said softly.
Jamey’s expression darkened. “You’re not there anymore. You’re here now and you’ve got all of us to tell you everyday how important you are.”
“Right. I make a meal or two.”
“You know it’s more than that.”
Emmaline bit her lip, knowing he was right. Since coming on board, Anna had taken a shine to her and followed her around, chattering. She was good at getting a smile out of Zoe and the Captain called her “little Emmaline” which took her some time to like. Yeah, she made meals but she had a place here and it was respected and honored by these people. They’d accepted her into their family without any prodding on Jamey’s part. Jamey had gotten her the job, yes, but she’d proven herself all on her own.
Jamey started to draw away from her. “I thought you had the right to know how I feel. I doubt it was a big revelation,” he smiled, sheepishly. “But it’s best to have this sort of thing out there. At least I think it is. Secret-keeping on this ship never seems to end well.”
“Jamey, wait.” Emmaline took a deep breath. “I-”
He looked so expectant and anxious and so hopeful that she fumbled. “I’m not ready for this.”
His face fell, but he nodded. “Whenever you’re ready, you come find me, okay? You know where I am.”
He barely made it out into the hall before she was in his arms and kissing him on the mouth for the first and certainly not the last time.
“I love you, too,” she said, shakily. “Do you promise not to go anywhere?”
“Sounds like we’re making a bigger promise here,” Jamey said, teasingly. His smile faded when he saw how serious she looked. “Do you want to make a bigger promise?”
“You’re not the only one who should’ve spoken up sooner,” Emmaline said, smiling. “But can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Call me Emmy. Like you did our first time.”
He cupped her face in one hand. “I thought you were just Emmaline.”
“I was. I kind of want to be Emmy now.”
“Emmy and Jamey.”
“Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” She giggled when he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.
“Ring. I have to get you a ring.”
“This is moving so fast.”
“Yeah, but it’s been in the works for what, two years now?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“I think we should announce it during dinner tonight.”
“You’re right. It’ll be a nice farewell present for Inara.”
Jamey frowned. “I can’t believe she’s really leaving.”
“Maybe you should write down your speech and give it to the Captain. It worked wonders with me.”
“Ha ha.”
~*~
They had all hugged Inara goodbye and gotten back onto the ship. Kaylee and Anna were in tears and everyone else was just barely holding it together. The Companion had been blinking back tears of her own, but she turned her back on them and walked regally into the temple.
Jamey stood next to Cap as they watched her. “Are you really gonna let her go?”
“This was her call,” Cap said, firmly.
“Oh, come on.”
Cap looked at Jamey sharply. “You got somethin’ to say, boy?”
“Just that you’re an idiot, sir.”
“Yeah. I know it.” Cap pushed the button to close the doors. “I’m too old to change my ways, son. Why don’t you go off someplace and snuggle with your wife-to-be?”
“Okay, Cap, if that’s the way you want it. Watching everyone else pair off while you-”
“You wanna check that tone of yours, James. I ain’t your little sister.”
“No sir, I believe she has more sense.”
Cap looked angry but then laughed. “She does, doesn’t she? Kind of miss having her around.”
Jamey frowned. “Cap?”
“Snuggling. Get on it. Now. Before I toss both of you on the first moon we find.”
Jamey watched Cap go, feeling conflicted as Emmy cuddled into his side. “How did you speech go?”
“Looks like you’re the only one who recognizes my genius.”
“That’s usually how it goes. Come on, we got some snuggling to do, Captain’s orders.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
END
Previous < You Brought Me Up : Next > Welcome to Existence
Title: Just What I Needed (11/12)
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss but Jamey's mine.
Summary: "I don't wanna be like him."
Warning: Raynekid fic. The central focus is NOT Rayne.
Notes: The Sequel series to Songs From a Firefly. To catch up on this series, check out the organizational post.
Just What I Needed
Ever since Emmaline had come on board, she’d been careful to never be alone with Jamey. That wasn’t too difficult to do in their tiny ship with so many people on board, but it didn’t stop Jamey from trying.
He’d sit at the mess table, fiddling with wires and peeking under his lashes at her as she bustled around the kitchen. She’d cut her hair since joining the crew and her bangs would hang in her eyes and she had this cute way of blowing them out of the way that made him grin. Then she’d catch him grinning and glare at him until he either went back to work or left the room entirely.
What was with him, wanting women he could never have? Emmaline was beautiful and sweet and funny and hated his guts.
Guess he was never going to have somebody.
“’Nara’s got an announcement to make,” Cap said that night at dinner. “’Nara.”
She looked at him for a moment and then cleared her throat. “I’m leaving next week.”
“Why?” Kaylee exclaimed, anguished.
“But you can’t leave!” Anna looked close to tears. “You’re Inara!”
Inara touched Anna’s cheek. “I’ve been offered the House Priestess position. I’d be foolish not to take it.”
“I thought you liked it here,” Anna said, petulantly.
“I do, sweetie.” Inara’s tone was gentle. “But I think I’ve outgrown my place here.” She looked at Cap after that and then turned back to Anna and Kaylee. “You can always visit me.”
As everyone gathered around Inara to protest or cry or say goodbye, Jamey noticed Cap slip from the room. He was just going to let her go? It was obvious to everyone on board that Cap loved Inara and she loved him back. So why couldn’t they-
Jamey looked over everyone’s heads at Emmaline. He caught her staring at him and she quickly gave him a nasty look to cover it up.
Interesting.
“I don’t wanna be like him.”
Emmaline looked up from chopping carrots. “Excuse me?”
“Cap.” Jamey walked towards her slowly, with purpose. “I didn’t realize it, but I’ve been acting like him my whole damn life. See something I want but either I don’t make the move or make it too damn late. I don’t want it to happen like that again.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, nervously.
Jamey stopped in front of her and didn’t speak until her eyes were on his. “I’m in love with you. I have been ever since I went up to you at that bar and you told me you were drinking lager.”
She turned pink. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do. And I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love somebody.”
Emmaline turned back to her chopping. “You only want me because you can’t have Lady.”
Jamey shook his head. “No. She was always a dream, something I knew I was never going to have. You’re real and I love every single damn thing about you.”
“Especially that I was a whore, right?” she snapped.
“I still would’ve tried to get you on this ship, even if you’d been that dishwasher on Main Street when I met you.” Jamey reached out to touch her but she recoiled. “Emmaline?”
“I’m too old for you.”
“You’re three years older than me and I’m an adult. What’s the problem?”
She looked away. “The problem is that I’m not interested.”
“Look me in the face and say that.”
With difficulty, she raised her eyes to his but didn’t say anything.
“You don’t get many chances at happiness out here,” Jamey whispered. “Why are you fighting this?”
“Because you didn’t want me the way I was. You wanted to make me better.” She blinked and some of her tears spilled.
Jamey stared at her. “What?!”
“You got me this job here-”
“Because you weren’t happy! I couldn’t stand seeing you so miserable, not when I could do something to help you!”
She laughed, bitterly. “Big damn hero, huh?”
He tried to deny it but laughed, shaking his head. “You sound like Nettie.” But he sobered and took hold of her hand. “I’m sorry I made you think that. Try to understand that I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you weren’t good enough. I’ve got this… habit of helping whether it’s asked for or not. It may come across heavy-handed sometimes but I honestly don’t mean any harm. I’ve never thought you were inferior. No one could ever think that about you.”
“But they did,” she said softly.
Jamey’s expression darkened. “You’re not there anymore. You’re here now and you’ve got all of us to tell you everyday how important you are.”
“Right. I make a meal or two.”
“You know it’s more than that.”
Emmaline bit her lip, knowing he was right. Since coming on board, Anna had taken a shine to her and followed her around, chattering. She was good at getting a smile out of Zoe and the Captain called her “little Emmaline” which took her some time to like. Yeah, she made meals but she had a place here and it was respected and honored by these people. They’d accepted her into their family without any prodding on Jamey’s part. Jamey had gotten her the job, yes, but she’d proven herself all on her own.
Jamey started to draw away from her. “I thought you had the right to know how I feel. I doubt it was a big revelation,” he smiled, sheepishly. “But it’s best to have this sort of thing out there. At least I think it is. Secret-keeping on this ship never seems to end well.”
“Jamey, wait.” Emmaline took a deep breath. “I-”
He looked so expectant and anxious and so hopeful that she fumbled. “I’m not ready for this.”
His face fell, but he nodded. “Whenever you’re ready, you come find me, okay? You know where I am.”
He barely made it out into the hall before she was in his arms and kissing him on the mouth for the first and certainly not the last time.
“I love you, too,” she said, shakily. “Do you promise not to go anywhere?”
“Sounds like we’re making a bigger promise here,” Jamey said, teasingly. His smile faded when he saw how serious she looked. “Do you want to make a bigger promise?”
“You’re not the only one who should’ve spoken up sooner,” Emmaline said, smiling. “But can you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Call me Emmy. Like you did our first time.”
He cupped her face in one hand. “I thought you were just Emmaline.”
“I was. I kind of want to be Emmy now.”
“Emmy and Jamey.”
“Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” She giggled when he pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose.
“Ring. I have to get you a ring.”
“This is moving so fast.”
“Yeah, but it’s been in the works for what, two years now?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
“I think we should announce it during dinner tonight.”
“You’re right. It’ll be a nice farewell present for Inara.”
Jamey frowned. “I can’t believe she’s really leaving.”
“Maybe you should write down your speech and give it to the Captain. It worked wonders with me.”
“Ha ha.”
They had all hugged Inara goodbye and gotten back onto the ship. Kaylee and Anna were in tears and everyone else was just barely holding it together. The Companion had been blinking back tears of her own, but she turned her back on them and walked regally into the temple.
Jamey stood next to Cap as they watched her. “Are you really gonna let her go?”
“This was her call,” Cap said, firmly.
“Oh, come on.”
Cap looked at Jamey sharply. “You got somethin’ to say, boy?”
“Just that you’re an idiot, sir.”
“Yeah. I know it.” Cap pushed the button to close the doors. “I’m too old to change my ways, son. Why don’t you go off someplace and snuggle with your wife-to-be?”
“Okay, Cap, if that’s the way you want it. Watching everyone else pair off while you-”
“You wanna check that tone of yours, James. I ain’t your little sister.”
“No sir, I believe she has more sense.”
Cap looked angry but then laughed. “She does, doesn’t she? Kind of miss having her around.”
Jamey frowned. “Cap?”
“Snuggling. Get on it. Now. Before I toss both of you on the first moon we find.”
Jamey watched Cap go, feeling conflicted as Emmy cuddled into his side. “How did you speech go?”
“Looks like you’re the only one who recognizes my genius.”
“That’s usually how it goes. Come on, we got some snuggling to do, Captain’s orders.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
END
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Date: 2006-11-21 07:09 am (UTC)Ah, heartfelt speeches. I'd like to hear one of those directed at me someday.