Jayne fic for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
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Nov. 5th, 2006 03:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toxic_cornFic: Five Times Jayne Got Respect
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss Whedon. Not me.
Notes:annabelleofga's prompt for the Five Fic meme. Another Jayne fic that turned Rayne towards the end. Got a prompt? Visit the link and let me know. I'm trying to have one prompt a week done, so it's slow going.
Forannabelleofga
1. Angus
“Jayne?”
“’M busy.”
“But Jayyyyne.”
Jayne threw down his pencil. “What?!”
Mattie drew back. “Never mind.”
“Naw, whaddya want, Mattie?”
Jayne’s little brother held up his headless teddybear. “Bernie had an accident.”
“An accident, huh?”
“Uh huh.”
Jayne gladly pushed his textbook aside and held his hands out for the stuffed animal. “How’d Bernie accidentally lose his head?”
Mattie’s eyes were big. “He was playin’ wif Angus.”
“Awww, Mattie.” Jayne groaned. “Didn’t Ma tell you ta keep away from that dog?”
“I was but he followed me.”
“From behind a fence.”
Mattie stuck his thumb in his mouth.
“Fine. I’ll go get your gorramn teddy bear’s head. As long as you gimmie yer dessert at dinner tonight.”
The little boy considered it for a second before nodding. “’M kay.”
Ten minutes later, Jayne was running around Old Man Corchran’s yard, chasing Angus with a stick. The damn dog ran this way and that, expertly ducking Jayne’s charges until Jayne got fed up and just tackled the creature. He pried the dog’s jaws open to get out the head it had been gnawing on and got big pretty bad for his efforts, but managed to fish out Bernie’s head.
Before getting over the fence, the dog did his best to take a chunk out of Jayne’s ass. It hurt like a son of a bitch and if his little brother hadn’t been on the other side, he mighta bawled a little.
“Here’s your damn head, ya idjit,” Jayne growled, shoving it at Mattie.
“Thanks, Jaynie.” The head was dirty and soaked in dog drool but Mattie accepted it happily. “Look Bernie, you gots a head again!”
Mattie held Jayne’s hand on the walk home and at dinner told Ma he wasn’t hungry and that he wanted Jayne to have his slice of peach cobbler. He didn’t even look sad about it, just smiled all big at Jayne.
Weird kid.
END
1. Big Man on Campus
Pauly Tanner practically strutted into the schoolyard, preening as his adoring masses greeted him loudly. He looked the group over, nodding in satisfaction. It had taken some time, but he’d managed to train all of them.
But one face in particular was missing from the crowd.
“Where’s li’l Janie Cobb?” Pauly sneered.
The children looked at one another and shrugged. A little boy in the back piped up, “I ain’t seen ‘im all summer.”
“He prolly got sent to an all girl’s school!” a red-haired kid with freckles said, excitedly.
Pauly laughed and the others joined him, being sure to stop when he did. “I bet that’s it.”
“I heard he spent all summer workin’ in the mines with his pa,” a voice behind Pauly said. Frowning, Pauly turned and looked up at the speaker.
“Jayne?”
“Hiya, Pauly.” The now gigantic, post-growth spurt Jayne Cobb drew back his fist and the next thing Pauly knew, he was waking up to Ms. Jacobs waving some nasty smelling stuff under his nose and everyone was gathered ‘round. Except Cobb, who stood a few feet away, absently cracking his knuckles.
“Paul, what happened?” Ms. Jacobs fretted. “Your nose is bleeding! Have you been fighting?”
“Nome,” Pauly muttered. He shakily got to his feet, waving the spinsterish woman away. “I just… got stupid is all. Fell.”
~*~
Jayne Cobb entered the schoolyard the next day and glared at the group of children gathered there, waiting for him.
“Hiya, Jayne!” the red-headed kid with freckles said, waving. “Wanna play tiddlywinks?”
“Don’t think they taught me that one at girl school,” Jayne said, sourly.
The kids laughed as the red head hunched his shoulders and slunk away.
“What do ya wanna play, Jayne?” a little blonde girl asked.
Jayne looked at all the faces shining with respect and the desire to please and grinned.
“Cops ‘n robbers.”
END
3. Just Doing My Civic Duty
There was lots of things Jayne Cobb didn’t like. Reavers. Long-sleeved shirts. Shaving.
Gettin’ shoved.
So when the hun dan in the market went running by and shoved Jayne, he was sure to shove him right the hell back. The shovin’ son of a whore went flyin’ into a tent selling potatoes and there was a huge ruckus as a result.
“You damaged my taters!” the seller screamed. “What the hell ‘m I s’posed ta do you mo-ron?”
“Uh, put up a sign sayin’ you got a sale on already mashed taters?”
“Is that supposed ta be funny??”
“Well, you ain’t laughin, so-”
“You’re gonna pay for this mess! You and this asshole here!” The seller picked up the dazed shover by the back of his collar and shook him.
“I’ll pay for it.” A gussied up gent said. He had a fed with him and pointed at the shover. “That’s the man who robbed my store, officer.”
The fed cuffed the shover and threw a sack of coin to the dandy and led his prisoner off.
“You just saved me a lot of money, young man,” the dandy told Jayne, shaking his hand. “Thank you, very much.”
Jayne never had such a fancy person in his company actually lookin’ happy to be in his company.
“Just uh, doin’ my part,” Jayne said, lamely.
“This calls for a reward,” the man said, heartily, reaching into the coin bag.
Jayne grinned. “Shiny.”
END
4. Ask for Directions, Already
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Simon said, looking at the map. “We should be in town by now.”
Jayne groaned, shifting the heavy sack onto his other shoulder. “Knew I shoulda let yer sister hold the map. She’s crazy but she wouldn’ta got us lost.”
“We’re not lost,” Simon snapped. “It’s just… this map must be out dated. Is there a creek somewhere along here? There’s supposed to be a creek.”
Jayne looked doubtfully at the dry land around them. “We’re gonna die.”
“Stop saying that!” Simon turned to River. “We’re not going to die, River. I’ll get us back to town, don’t worry.”
The girl didn’t look all that worried. She was staring up at the clouds and spun herself so she was walking backwards.
“Right side up,” she said.
Jayne considered that for a second. “Lemme see the map.”
“I told you we're not lost!”
“So then gimmie the map, ya pansy!”
They had a pretty sad one-sided tug of war before Jayne ended up with the map and unfolded it. He looked at it a moment and then frowned ferociously.
“You had it upside down, you dumb cluck!”
Simon’s mouth fell open as Jayne shoved the map at his chest and spun around to walk back the way they’d been headed the last hour.
“Well played, Jayne Cobb.” He glanced over to find River at his elbow, smiling loopily at him.
“Yeah, well… top three percent my ass.” Jayne mumbled.
Her laughter rang out around them as her eyes sparkled with an emotion he’d never seen from her before: a glimmer of respect.
END
5. Pair of Ducks
“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
Jayne paused in shoveling protein into his face. “Huh?”
River raised her eyebrows. “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
“The hell kind o’ question is that?”
“The kind you answer, please.”
Jayne snorted. “Ya can’t answer it.”
“No?”
“No. Only chickens can lay eggs but the chicken had to come from somewheres. There’s no answer to that question, it’s uh.. pair o’ ducks or somethin’.”
River sat back in her chair, eyebrows raised. “You’re wiser than you look, Jayne.”
He didn’t quite know how to respond to that so he just grumbled, “May not be as smart as you but I ain’t dumb, neither.”
Her expression softened. “No. Not dumb. I never thought that.”
When he went to bed that night, he found a little note on his pillow.
Jayne,
Paradox:
1. a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
2. a self-contradictory and false proposition.
3. any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature.
4. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.
A wise man of action: You’re the best paradox of all.
River
Damn if that didn’t put a smile on his face as he went to sleep that night.
END
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss Whedon. Not me.
Notes:
annabelleofga's prompt for the Five Fic meme. Another Jayne fic that turned Rayne towards the end. Got a prompt? Visit the link and let me know. I'm trying to have one prompt a week done, so it's slow going.For
annabelleofga1. Angus
“Jayne?”
“’M busy.”
“But Jayyyyne.”
Jayne threw down his pencil. “What?!”
Mattie drew back. “Never mind.”
“Naw, whaddya want, Mattie?”
Jayne’s little brother held up his headless teddybear. “Bernie had an accident.”
“An accident, huh?”
“Uh huh.”
Jayne gladly pushed his textbook aside and held his hands out for the stuffed animal. “How’d Bernie accidentally lose his head?”
Mattie’s eyes were big. “He was playin’ wif Angus.”
“Awww, Mattie.” Jayne groaned. “Didn’t Ma tell you ta keep away from that dog?”
“I was but he followed me.”
“From behind a fence.”
Mattie stuck his thumb in his mouth.
“Fine. I’ll go get your gorramn teddy bear’s head. As long as you gimmie yer dessert at dinner tonight.”
The little boy considered it for a second before nodding. “’M kay.”
Ten minutes later, Jayne was running around Old Man Corchran’s yard, chasing Angus with a stick. The damn dog ran this way and that, expertly ducking Jayne’s charges until Jayne got fed up and just tackled the creature. He pried the dog’s jaws open to get out the head it had been gnawing on and got big pretty bad for his efforts, but managed to fish out Bernie’s head.
Before getting over the fence, the dog did his best to take a chunk out of Jayne’s ass. It hurt like a son of a bitch and if his little brother hadn’t been on the other side, he mighta bawled a little.
“Here’s your damn head, ya idjit,” Jayne growled, shoving it at Mattie.
“Thanks, Jaynie.” The head was dirty and soaked in dog drool but Mattie accepted it happily. “Look Bernie, you gots a head again!”
Mattie held Jayne’s hand on the walk home and at dinner told Ma he wasn’t hungry and that he wanted Jayne to have his slice of peach cobbler. He didn’t even look sad about it, just smiled all big at Jayne.
Weird kid.
END
1. Big Man on Campus
Pauly Tanner practically strutted into the schoolyard, preening as his adoring masses greeted him loudly. He looked the group over, nodding in satisfaction. It had taken some time, but he’d managed to train all of them.
But one face in particular was missing from the crowd.
“Where’s li’l Janie Cobb?” Pauly sneered.
The children looked at one another and shrugged. A little boy in the back piped up, “I ain’t seen ‘im all summer.”
“He prolly got sent to an all girl’s school!” a red-haired kid with freckles said, excitedly.
Pauly laughed and the others joined him, being sure to stop when he did. “I bet that’s it.”
“I heard he spent all summer workin’ in the mines with his pa,” a voice behind Pauly said. Frowning, Pauly turned and looked up at the speaker.
“Jayne?”
“Hiya, Pauly.” The now gigantic, post-growth spurt Jayne Cobb drew back his fist and the next thing Pauly knew, he was waking up to Ms. Jacobs waving some nasty smelling stuff under his nose and everyone was gathered ‘round. Except Cobb, who stood a few feet away, absently cracking his knuckles.
“Paul, what happened?” Ms. Jacobs fretted. “Your nose is bleeding! Have you been fighting?”
“Nome,” Pauly muttered. He shakily got to his feet, waving the spinsterish woman away. “I just… got stupid is all. Fell.”
Jayne Cobb entered the schoolyard the next day and glared at the group of children gathered there, waiting for him.
“Hiya, Jayne!” the red-headed kid with freckles said, waving. “Wanna play tiddlywinks?”
“Don’t think they taught me that one at girl school,” Jayne said, sourly.
The kids laughed as the red head hunched his shoulders and slunk away.
“What do ya wanna play, Jayne?” a little blonde girl asked.
Jayne looked at all the faces shining with respect and the desire to please and grinned.
“Cops ‘n robbers.”
END
3. Just Doing My Civic Duty
There was lots of things Jayne Cobb didn’t like. Reavers. Long-sleeved shirts. Shaving.
Gettin’ shoved.
So when the hun dan in the market went running by and shoved Jayne, he was sure to shove him right the hell back. The shovin’ son of a whore went flyin’ into a tent selling potatoes and there was a huge ruckus as a result.
“You damaged my taters!” the seller screamed. “What the hell ‘m I s’posed ta do you mo-ron?”
“Uh, put up a sign sayin’ you got a sale on already mashed taters?”
“Is that supposed ta be funny??”
“Well, you ain’t laughin, so-”
“You’re gonna pay for this mess! You and this asshole here!” The seller picked up the dazed shover by the back of his collar and shook him.
“I’ll pay for it.” A gussied up gent said. He had a fed with him and pointed at the shover. “That’s the man who robbed my store, officer.”
The fed cuffed the shover and threw a sack of coin to the dandy and led his prisoner off.
“You just saved me a lot of money, young man,” the dandy told Jayne, shaking his hand. “Thank you, very much.”
Jayne never had such a fancy person in his company actually lookin’ happy to be in his company.
“Just uh, doin’ my part,” Jayne said, lamely.
“This calls for a reward,” the man said, heartily, reaching into the coin bag.
Jayne grinned. “Shiny.”
END
4. Ask for Directions, Already
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Simon said, looking at the map. “We should be in town by now.”
Jayne groaned, shifting the heavy sack onto his other shoulder. “Knew I shoulda let yer sister hold the map. She’s crazy but she wouldn’ta got us lost.”
“We’re not lost,” Simon snapped. “It’s just… this map must be out dated. Is there a creek somewhere along here? There’s supposed to be a creek.”
Jayne looked doubtfully at the dry land around them. “We’re gonna die.”
“Stop saying that!” Simon turned to River. “We’re not going to die, River. I’ll get us back to town, don’t worry.”
The girl didn’t look all that worried. She was staring up at the clouds and spun herself so she was walking backwards.
“Right side up,” she said.
Jayne considered that for a second. “Lemme see the map.”
“I told you we're not lost!”
“So then gimmie the map, ya pansy!”
They had a pretty sad one-sided tug of war before Jayne ended up with the map and unfolded it. He looked at it a moment and then frowned ferociously.
“You had it upside down, you dumb cluck!”
Simon’s mouth fell open as Jayne shoved the map at his chest and spun around to walk back the way they’d been headed the last hour.
“Well played, Jayne Cobb.” He glanced over to find River at his elbow, smiling loopily at him.
“Yeah, well… top three percent my ass.” Jayne mumbled.
Her laughter rang out around them as her eyes sparkled with an emotion he’d never seen from her before: a glimmer of respect.
END
5. Pair of Ducks
“Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
Jayne paused in shoveling protein into his face. “Huh?”
River raised her eyebrows. “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
“The hell kind o’ question is that?”
“The kind you answer, please.”
Jayne snorted. “Ya can’t answer it.”
“No?”
“No. Only chickens can lay eggs but the chicken had to come from somewheres. There’s no answer to that question, it’s uh.. pair o’ ducks or somethin’.”
River sat back in her chair, eyebrows raised. “You’re wiser than you look, Jayne.”
He didn’t quite know how to respond to that so he just grumbled, “May not be as smart as you but I ain’t dumb, neither.”
Her expression softened. “No. Not dumb. I never thought that.”
When he went to bed that night, he found a little note on his pillow.
Jayne,
Paradox:
1. a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.
2. a self-contradictory and false proposition.
3. any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature.
4. an opinion or statement contrary to commonly accepted opinion.
A wise man of action: You’re the best paradox of all.
River
Damn if that didn’t put a smile on his face as he went to sleep that night.
END
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Date: 2006-11-05 08:42 pm (UTC)