toxic_corn: Summer Glau is pretty. (MLP: pinkie pie - starry-eyed)
[personal profile] toxic_corn
Title: No One Puts Pinkie In a Corner
Author: Toxic Corn
Fandom: MLP: Friendship is Magic/Firefly
Disclaimer: I'm.. basically insane. Also, Joss Whedon, Hasbro, yadda I own nothing.
Summary: Jayne meets Pinkie Pie. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] ladytalon1's prompt where she asked for Jayne and Pinkie in a barfight. This would've cooperated better had she chosen Rainbow Dash instead of Pinkie, so I worked with what our favorite party planner is capable of. :P


“I don't like this place, Mal,” Jayne grumbled for the seven hundredth time. He'd never heard of any planet with talking horses before, but here they were. None of 'em looked like any horse he'd ever seen: instead of the earthy colors he was used to, all of them were different colors of the rainbow with obnoxious little cutesy pictures on their sides. But Mal had heard this was the best place to buy fresh apples and here they were.


“The sellers should be here soon. Just drink your rainbow juice.”


“This place don't even have a real bar!”


“We're not movin' in so who cares? Just shut up for five minutes, will ya?”


Scowling, Jayne slumped in his chair and sipped the sickeningly sweet drink that came with a giant cupcake. The cupcake was good at least and he picked it up and took a deep bite.


“You Malcolm Reynolds?” a voice to his left suddenly said. He turned to see a light orange pony wearing a cowboy hat.


“Of COURSE he is, SILLY! No one else here has two leeeeeeeeeeeeegs!” A pink pony bounced up and down next to the normal(ish) pony. “Can I ask you something?! How can you stay standing on only two legs? Don't you fall down? You don't even have a tail for balance! Did you come from the Everfree forest?” She gasped, loud and theatrical. “I BET YOU CAME FORM THE EVERFREE FOREST!”


Jayne stared at the pony, honestly lost for words.


Mal leaned back to see around Jayne. “I'm actually Malcolm Reynolds. And you'd be Applejack?”


“That's right,” the orange pony said and sent a warning look the pink pony's way. “I'm sorry about Pinkie Pie. She don't mean any harm, she's just a mite excitable. Now what can I do for you gentlecolts today?”


“Well, we heard you've got an apple farm and we're interested in--”


“Applejack has the BEST apple farm EVER!” Pinkie Pie squealed. The pony was worse than Kaylee on her best day ever. “After you do all your boring business, I'm going to throw you a Welcome To Ponyville party in the barn and we'll play GAMES and eat COOKIES and DANCE and-”


“I ain't goin' to no gorram horse party,” Jayne snapped.


Pinkie Pie slowly bounced to a halt and stared at Jayne, wide-eyed with dismay. “No party?”


“You deaf? That's what I said.”


“Oh no,” Apple Jack whispered, taking a few steps backward.


Pinkie Pie's curly hair fell flat and straight. “No. Party.”


“Jayne, maybe you should--”


“Shut it, Mal. I've had it with this weird ass place. None of these gorram horses act like they're s'posed to. Now how about instead of screamin' in my ear, you gimmie a ride to this gorram farm and shut up about gorram parties?” And he slapped Pinkie Pie on her rump.


No one in Ponyville really knew what happened at the cupcake shop that day, but everyone agreed that something blew the roof off and it may have been the force of Pinkie Pie's scream or perhaps the two-legged creature she kicked up to the rafters who ended up crashing through Zecora's hut all the way out in the Everfree Forest. Twilight Sparkle had some theories that it was actually a combination of the two, or even just the force of Pinkie Pie's rage and indignation.


What everyone could agree to, though, was that the Welcome to Ponyville party was the best party ever and Malcolm Reynolds was a welcome visitor to Equestria from that day forward.



The End

Date: 2011-06-20 03:31 am (UTC)
ext_6231: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ladytalon1.livejournal.com
Bwahahahaha! I'm picturing that one scene with Badger and the cucumber sandwiches. Except the cucumber sandwiches are big cupcakes. LOL

Date: 2011-06-20 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com
That's definitely what I was thinking of, lol.

Date: 2011-06-20 01:47 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mystic_notions
LOL! I haven't seen this new MLP cartoon but I could see Jayne getting himself into trouble anywhere.

Date: 2011-06-20 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com
It's his winning personality, isn't it? :P

By the way, all the MLP eps are up on YouTube and it's actually pretty cute and funny. I went into it reluctantly but ended up sold on the concept of my youth being repackaged, lol.

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