Rayne fic for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jaynedancing's request
Sep. 13th, 2006 10:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toxic_cornTitle: Five Times Jayne Won and River Lost
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon. I am not Joss Whedon. Ergo, they're not my characters and I'm just playing with them.
Notes: For the Five fic meme. I'm still taking requests so if you've got a prompt, let me know.
Forjaynedancing
1. The Amazing Race
“Bet I can beat you back to the ship,” River said jauntily.
Jayne snorted. “You really are crazy, aren’t ya?
“OnetwothreeGO!” And she was off like a shot.
“Hey!” Jayne dropped the sack he was carrying and sprinted after her, arms pumping, fully powering it to overtake her. The girl had taken an unfair advantage.
Just when it was looking like she’d win, he got an extra burst of speed and passed her, hitting the ramp first.
“WOO!” Jayne pumped his fists in the air, victorious. He grinned but stopped when he saw Mal and Zoe a few feet away, looking at him like he’d gone bathshit.
“Where’s those supplies I sent you out for, Jayne?” Mal asked, eyes narrowing.
Jayne’s arms dropped to his sides, trying to think of a way to explain that wouldn’t end badly.
“It was my fault, captain,” River said. “I dropped the bag when I started the race. I’ll go get it.” She turned around and went back the way they came.
“While she’s doin’ that, Jayne, you come help stow this cargo.” Mal pointed at some crates.
“Sure, Mal.” Jayne cast a look over his shoulder at River’s retreating figure. She was really growing into a damn fine woman.
END
2. Wrong Game
“It’s not fair,” River said, looking at the boots on the table. “You have more clothing than I do.”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to play this.” He looked at the articles of clothing on the table. “Let’s see, we got boots, socks, ‘n panties. They look lonesome. Better give ‘em a dress for company.”
River grumbled and unzipped the back of her dress.
“What’re ya bitchin’ about, you still got a-” His eyes nearly fell out of his head. The crazy girl didn’t wear a bra.
Her arms moved as if to cross over her chest but she kept them at her sides as she gave Jayne an almost defiant look.
Jayne’s gaze zeroed in on her hardening nipples. “Oh baby girl,” he breathed, tossing the cards over his shoulder, “We’re playin’ the wrong game.”
END
3. High Stakes
“We got some news for you all,” Mal said to the assembled crew. He slid an arm through Inara’s, smiling brightly at her. “Me and ‘Nara are gettin’ hitched!”
Everyone expressed their congratulations except River, who scowled.
“Albatross?” Mal frowned. “Somethin’ wrong?”
“Yes,” she snapped. “Couldn’t you have waited a week?” She spun on her heel and stomped off to her bunk.
They all shared stunned looks.
“Aw, don’t mind her any,” Jayne said. “We had a bet goin’ on when you two was gonna announce your big day. I was gettin’ worried there for a bit; one more week and River woulda won.”
Simon looked puzzled. “A bet has upset her that much?”
Jayne grinned. “Sure has. Stakes were too high. She’s gotta do all my chores for a month.”
END
4. Hollow Victory
It had been six months since Kenny went missing.
Five months since they got the first set of fingers in the post.
Four months since they got the hands.
Three months since Niska sent the condolence card: Most sorry to hear about your late pilot.
River had cried for a week. Didn’t eat much for six. She’s started sleeping in Jayne’s bunk a month ago. They didn’t do anything, River wasn’t at all ready and Jayne wasn’t a big enough bastard to press her. He just held her close during the night and was there when the horrible nightmares came, soothing her gently back to reality.
He couldn’t help but feel elated to have that much with her, even though he knew it made him a real son of a bitch. It was just unfortunate for River to lose so much in order for Jayne to win a little happiness.
END
Note: I promise that Kenny is really dead. I only wrote this because someone made a funny remark that Kenny's previous death was "too good" for him. So I went a more horrible route this time out. He's still dead though:jaynedancing even wrote the engraving on his tombstone
5. Your Turn
“Your turn,” River murmured, pushing Jayne’s side.
He growled, refusing to open his eyes.
“Jayne,” River said a little louder.
“I heard ya,” he snarled. “And it’s yer turn.”
“It is not!”
“Is too!”
River sat up and scowled. “There’s only one way to solve this.”
Grumbling, Jayne rolled to his side and held up a fist at the same time River did.
He threw rock, she threw scissors.
“It was your turn,” River hissed as she kicked the blankets off of her and climbed out of bed.
“Tell Jamey I say hi,” Jayne muttered, rolling back onto his stomach and back into sleep.
River gave her husband a nasty look before stumbling to their crying child’s crib.
THE END
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Joss Whedon. I am not Joss Whedon. Ergo, they're not my characters and I'm just playing with them.
Notes: For the Five fic meme. I'm still taking requests so if you've got a prompt, let me know.
For
jaynedancing1. The Amazing Race
“Bet I can beat you back to the ship,” River said jauntily.
Jayne snorted. “You really are crazy, aren’t ya?
“OnetwothreeGO!” And she was off like a shot.
“Hey!” Jayne dropped the sack he was carrying and sprinted after her, arms pumping, fully powering it to overtake her. The girl had taken an unfair advantage.
Just when it was looking like she’d win, he got an extra burst of speed and passed her, hitting the ramp first.
“WOO!” Jayne pumped his fists in the air, victorious. He grinned but stopped when he saw Mal and Zoe a few feet away, looking at him like he’d gone bathshit.
“Where’s those supplies I sent you out for, Jayne?” Mal asked, eyes narrowing.
Jayne’s arms dropped to his sides, trying to think of a way to explain that wouldn’t end badly.
“It was my fault, captain,” River said. “I dropped the bag when I started the race. I’ll go get it.” She turned around and went back the way they came.
“While she’s doin’ that, Jayne, you come help stow this cargo.” Mal pointed at some crates.
“Sure, Mal.” Jayne cast a look over his shoulder at River’s retreating figure. She was really growing into a damn fine woman.
END
2. Wrong Game
“It’s not fair,” River said, looking at the boots on the table. “You have more clothing than I do.”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to play this.” He looked at the articles of clothing on the table. “Let’s see, we got boots, socks, ‘n panties. They look lonesome. Better give ‘em a dress for company.”
River grumbled and unzipped the back of her dress.
“What’re ya bitchin’ about, you still got a-” His eyes nearly fell out of his head. The crazy girl didn’t wear a bra.
Her arms moved as if to cross over her chest but she kept them at her sides as she gave Jayne an almost defiant look.
Jayne’s gaze zeroed in on her hardening nipples. “Oh baby girl,” he breathed, tossing the cards over his shoulder, “We’re playin’ the wrong game.”
END
3. High Stakes
“We got some news for you all,” Mal said to the assembled crew. He slid an arm through Inara’s, smiling brightly at her. “Me and ‘Nara are gettin’ hitched!”
Everyone expressed their congratulations except River, who scowled.
“Albatross?” Mal frowned. “Somethin’ wrong?”
“Yes,” she snapped. “Couldn’t you have waited a week?” She spun on her heel and stomped off to her bunk.
They all shared stunned looks.
“Aw, don’t mind her any,” Jayne said. “We had a bet goin’ on when you two was gonna announce your big day. I was gettin’ worried there for a bit; one more week and River woulda won.”
Simon looked puzzled. “A bet has upset her that much?”
Jayne grinned. “Sure has. Stakes were too high. She’s gotta do all my chores for a month.”
END
4. Hollow Victory
It had been six months since Kenny went missing.
Five months since they got the first set of fingers in the post.
Four months since they got the hands.
Three months since Niska sent the condolence card: Most sorry to hear about your late pilot.
River had cried for a week. Didn’t eat much for six. She’s started sleeping in Jayne’s bunk a month ago. They didn’t do anything, River wasn’t at all ready and Jayne wasn’t a big enough bastard to press her. He just held her close during the night and was there when the horrible nightmares came, soothing her gently back to reality.
He couldn’t help but feel elated to have that much with her, even though he knew it made him a real son of a bitch. It was just unfortunate for River to lose so much in order for Jayne to win a little happiness.
END
Note: I promise that Kenny is really dead. I only wrote this because someone made a funny remark that Kenny's previous death was "too good" for him. So I went a more horrible route this time out. He's still dead though:
jaynedancing even wrote the engraving on his tombstone5. Your Turn
“Your turn,” River murmured, pushing Jayne’s side.
He growled, refusing to open his eyes.
“Jayne,” River said a little louder.
“I heard ya,” he snarled. “And it’s yer turn.”
“It is not!”
“Is too!”
River sat up and scowled. “There’s only one way to solve this.”
Grumbling, Jayne rolled to his side and held up a fist at the same time River did.
He threw rock, she threw scissors.
“It was your turn,” River hissed as she kicked the blankets off of her and climbed out of bed.
“Tell Jamey I say hi,” Jayne muttered, rolling back onto his stomach and back into sleep.
River gave her husband a nasty look before stumbling to their crying child’s crib.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 05:52 pm (UTC)And I also love them all.
But mostly #2.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 06:45 pm (UTC)Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce-Bounce
I could be some time. XD
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 07:14 pm (UTC)Number one - Awwww! River bailed him out.
Number two - Gulp, ooooooooh! That is sexy! That's a fantastic example of when one tiny moment is sexier than pages of bonking.
Number three - Chortle, poor River
Number four - I'm feeling a bit bad about Kenny now, poor lamb.
Number five - Jayne the new man, NOT!
And my favorite bit, because I'm a soppy sod and somehow this is really sweet - "Jayne wasn’t a big enough bastard to press her..." XD
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 07:20 pm (UTC)Number one - River's a class act like that. :P
Number two - BONKING ROFL
Number three - Yeah, Jayne has some yucky chores I sure as hell wouldn't want to do.
Number four - His death was a little over the top this time around. I don't plan on killing him again so this is really it, all I have the stomach for.
Number five - Hahah, yes, Jayne has grown so much as a person. XD
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 07:27 pm (UTC)It's a Limey thing...
Bonk (HAVE SEX)
verb [I or T] UK HUMOROUS SLANG
to have sex with someone:
'I bonked the prince, says sexy Sarah' declared the newspaper headline.
(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)
:D
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 06:54 pm (UTC)Thanks for entertaining
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 07:03 pm (UTC)I've never seen Farscape but it's on my "To Watch" list. Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 08:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 09:01 pm (UTC)Hurray!! (Oops) I mean, Damn! What a shame!
Date: 2006-09-13 08:56 pm (UTC)A moment of silence, please...
Well, little Kenny's in a much better place now...and so is River. In Jayne's bunk, where she belongs.
Yes, I'm the beast who wanted Kenny to suffer an agonizing, slow death. I didn't comment on the last Five because the smug little interloper made me mad, rubbing his sexing-River in Jayne's face. I'm surprised the Mule never fell off its chains onto him, or some caustic substance never found its way into Kenny's "things." Jayne's restraint is admirable.
I'm like Jayne, I didn't honestly want the little puppy dismembered, but I can't feel too bad about it either. He was poaching! River will be much happier now, and so will Jayne. It was just a matter of time before she got bored with Mr. Vanilla Wouldn't-Hurt-A-Fly and longed for a real man. She probably thought she had no chance with Jayne until after she had already started courting The Puppy.
Sorry, as you can see, I'm a mite rabid where Jayne's happiness is concerned. I'll try to take a few deep breaths and maybe have some chocolate. ~Better now!~
P. S. - I love this series. It's so original and offers the opportunity to explore so many different episodes and aspects of the characters. You're doing a great job. {smooch}
Re: Hurray!! (Oops) I mean, Damn! What a shame!
Date: 2006-09-13 09:08 pm (UTC)I'm glad you're liking these. I have one more Rayne one, unless someone throws me another prompt. Then I'm back to my other fic that's been put on hold to play this. It's been really fun!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 10:47 pm (UTC)PS. LOVED #2 - playin' the wrong game, indeed!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 11:35 pm (UTC)Yay, I'm glad the second one is getting some love; in my outline I put a question mark next to it because I thought it might turn out badly.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 11:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-13 11:48 pm (UTC)*points* All right, first to get it! Or first to point it out at least. Well, all the same, here's your gold star, madam! *sticks gold star to your forehead*
As always, thanks for reading. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 12:32 am (UTC)For some sick reason I get a kick out of you killing Kenny. I'm a bastard, heheheh.
I wonder if that's how they still decide who's getting up with the baby when Nettie is born.
and I friended your journal if that's alright.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 04:46 am (UTC)Hahaha, I think they probably have a system figured out by the time Nettie comes along. Maybe a chart of some sort that keeps track of who got up last so there's no debate. XD
Friending is more than all right, I friended you back.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 12:33 am (UTC)(Here via the_cortex, btw.)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 01:26 pm (UTC)(It took me a number of viewings before I stopped having to look away during the torture scenes in "War Stories," and removing body parts that can't be put right back has an added !!! factor,)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 01:43 pm (UTC)Also I think you forgot to add that the only reason Jayne likes River attending to the baby is that he can secretly look at her with him and feel all mooshy :D But I like your ending just as much.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-14 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 07:40 pm (UTC)All of these are great, I especially enjoyed #3 and #5. And, of course the manner of Kenny's death ...
no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 07:44 pm (UTC)Other than the gruesome death, I'm glad you liked the other fics too. :D