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toxic_cornTitle: You're Really Lovely Underneath it All
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All is Joss's, I'm just borrowing. For awhile.
Spoilers: Post BDM
Summary: River's had enough.
Notes: I've been wanting to use the No Doubt song "Underneath It All" for a Rayne project and while trying to sleep last night, this entered my head. So I got up and wrote it around 2 or 3 a.m. Not sure that I like it. Apologies to Shakespeare.
You’re Really Lovely Underneath it All
This was it. The straw that broke the camel’s back. The deal breaker.
Jayne Cobb was gone.
It was bad enough that he stayed out all night drinking, intent on destroying his liver. And then stumbling home and loudly joining her in her bunk, jarring her from a deep sleep and – for once- peaceful dreams.
But to sometime in the night vomit and then disappear come morning leaving her to clean it up…
No more. She was through.
Angrily, River scrubbed at the floor with the thick brush and dunked it into the soapy bucket. This was ridiculous; there was no getting rid of this stain. It was going to cling there forever, as welcome as an annoying commercial jingle stuck in her head.
She threw down the brush, admitting defeat. She’d just have to buy a rug and hope the smell faded before the next millennia.
River went out to the cargo bay and after a little rummaging found a cardboard box. Then she stomped back to her room and started going through her drawers.
The fighting elves t-shirt, a few boxers, plain black tees, and old magazines were tossed into the box.
Before leaving, she gave the room the once-over and was satisfied that all the Jayne objects had been accounted for. She marched up to the crew bunks and was glad not to meet anyone. It would be awkward to have Jayne be the last to know she was dumping him.
Dumping him.
Her heart broke a little but she firmly shoved the sensation aside. She’d given him numerous chances to change his ways yet he still insisted on being a boorish cretin.
She reached his bunk and nearly tipped the contents of the box down, leaving it at that. But she wanted to extend Jayne a little common courtesy, though he’d never shown her any.
Or maybe she wanted to have one last look around. She’d certainly never see his room ever again. It seemed doubtful that after this she’d even stay on the ship. She didn’t think she could handle seeing Jayne take up his whoring again.
Maybe she’d find a nice dance school to attend. Or flight school, to become a licensed pilot so she could find a place on another ship. Perhaps she’d even find another man, one closer to her age who’d read a book in the last year.
River ignored the indifference and slight distaste she felt at the idea of another man and shuffled across the room, taking in the scent of Jayne hanging in the air. Leather, gun oil, cigars, and that last smell she’d never been able to identify. Just Jayne, she’d always called it.
With a sigh, she stepped forward to place the box on his bed but she paused when her toe hit something. It was under his bed and partially obscured by his covers.
She dropped the box onto the mattress and knelt down to look. It was probably pornography full of women with body shapes River could never hope to have.
She was making the right decision here.
Imagine her surprise when she discovered it was a paperback copy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
Why would he have this?
As if looking for answers, she flipped through the pages. Here and there he’d underlined passages in pencil and left a comment or two in the margins.
Next to Hamlet’s famous “to be or not to be” soliloquy, Jayne had written, You can’t do it and leave your ma with that hundan.
Polonius’s death earned a That’ll learn him!
And next to Gertrude’s announcement of Ophelia’s death, he’d written That’s never happening to MY crazy girl.
Shaken, River went to the desk to sit down, book in hand. Why would he have this? It didn’t make any sense. Turning the pages over again, she came across the scene in which Hamlet arranges the actors to re-create his father’s murder. Jayne’s scrawling hand said Play within a play. That’s what they meant.
Then it all came back to her. Several months ago, she and Simon and the captain had been discussing a film they’d seen that afternoon. Simon had remarked on a particular sequence in the film that he’d described as a “play with a play, much like Hamlet.” The Captain had understood the reference and off of Simon’s surprise explained that he’d seen an amateur production of it on Shadow many years before.
Jayne had been in the room. He hadn’t said anything or seemed to express any interest but he must have felt left out enough to look into this himself.
He wanted to understand her.
“Oh, Jayne.” Blinking back tears, River placed the book on his desk and looked up at his bulletin board.
It was covered in pictures of her. Pictures of them. In many of them, Jayne was pawing at her and grinning, waving jauntily. But one of the pictures in the corner drew her attention.
They were both on the ramp. Jayne was standing behind her, arms around her waist as they stared off at something, River couldn’t remember what. But she remembered the warm feeling she’d gotten when he dropped a kiss on her head and pulled her a little closer.
That was the Jayne that only she knew existed, maybe Kaylee if she was the one who’d taken the capture. The Jayne who was gentle with her in their private moments, no matter how many times she told him she wouldn’t break. The Jayne who hummed old folk songs until she dropped off to sleep. These actions had seemed out of character at first, but now it was all starting to make sense.
Jayne wasn’t a man of many words. He had to express himself in other ways, usually physical. Underneath the brash exterior was a man who wanted more than anything to let the girl he loved know how he felt.
Underneath it all, all of the irritations and inconveniences, he was good for her.
She put the book back where she found it and gathered up the box.
~*~
Jayne was swearing as he scrubbed at the floor. River blinked in surprise to see him there.
“What are you doing?”
He jumped slightly and looked at her over his shoulder. He looked pale, hung over, and was wearing dark glasses.
“Cleanin’ up my mess. Sorry ‘bout this, babygirl. I didn’t know.”
While pleased with his apology, she couldn’t resist raising her eyebrows. “How could you miss it?”
“I got dressed in the dark this mornin’ and didn’t see it.”
Oh. She admired his hind quarters for a moment before her gaze lowered to where his pants rode up away from his boots and saw his socks. One black, one brown.
“Why did you dress in the dark?” She set the box on her dresser and moved around him to perch on her bed, caressing the back of his head as she went.
“Cuz I knew you didn’t get much sleep last night with me bumblin’ around like a ruttin’ moose 'n I didn't wanna wake ya up again.” He sighed heavily. “This ain’t happenin’ again ya know. No way am I ever drinkin’ that much again.” Suddenly, he dropped the brush into the bucket and sat back on his heels. “Forget this mess. I’ll just buy ya a rug t’ cover it up.”
River smiled at his vocalizing her earlier thought. Her smile faded, however, when he stood up and spotted the box on the dresser.
“What’s that?” Before she could get to it, he was there, rooting through the contents. “This is all mine.”
This couldn’t look worse.
“Riv,” he said slowly. “Why’s all my stuff in a box?” The sunglasses blocked his eyes from her view but she could still feel his accusing stare anyway.
“I was angry,” she admitted, feeling her face heat up.
“So ya ain’t no more?”
“No,” she whispered.
Jayne nodded and looked back at the box. He didn’t speak for a long moment, and when he did, he tried for a light tone that failed miserably.
“What stopped ya from throwin’ my sorry ass out?”
She got up from the bed and went to stand in front of him. She reached up and removed the glasses, revealing his frightened, bloodshot blue eyes.
“I love you.” She’d been nervous about telling him but now she found that having the feelings out in the moment lifted a burden off of her shoulders. She found herself smiling so wide that her face hurt.
He looked disbelieving for a moment but after he saw the truth in her face, he smiled back.
“Are you still feeling ill?” She pressed a hand to his forehead. “We can lay down for awhile if you like.”
“Yeah, okay.” Jayne took her hand and led her to the bed. “Reckon we could both use some sleep.”
River gave him a teasing look. “To sleep, perchance to dream?”
He laughed. “Yeah, what Hammy said.”
The End
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All is Joss's, I'm just borrowing. For awhile.
Spoilers: Post BDM
Summary: River's had enough.
Notes: I've been wanting to use the No Doubt song "Underneath It All" for a Rayne project and while trying to sleep last night, this entered my head. So I got up and wrote it around 2 or 3 a.m. Not sure that I like it. Apologies to Shakespeare.
You’re Really Lovely Underneath it All
This was it. The straw that broke the camel’s back. The deal breaker.
Jayne Cobb was gone.
It was bad enough that he stayed out all night drinking, intent on destroying his liver. And then stumbling home and loudly joining her in her bunk, jarring her from a deep sleep and – for once- peaceful dreams.
But to sometime in the night vomit and then disappear come morning leaving her to clean it up…
No more. She was through.
Angrily, River scrubbed at the floor with the thick brush and dunked it into the soapy bucket. This was ridiculous; there was no getting rid of this stain. It was going to cling there forever, as welcome as an annoying commercial jingle stuck in her head.
She threw down the brush, admitting defeat. She’d just have to buy a rug and hope the smell faded before the next millennia.
River went out to the cargo bay and after a little rummaging found a cardboard box. Then she stomped back to her room and started going through her drawers.
The fighting elves t-shirt, a few boxers, plain black tees, and old magazines were tossed into the box.
Before leaving, she gave the room the once-over and was satisfied that all the Jayne objects had been accounted for. She marched up to the crew bunks and was glad not to meet anyone. It would be awkward to have Jayne be the last to know she was dumping him.
Dumping him.
Her heart broke a little but she firmly shoved the sensation aside. She’d given him numerous chances to change his ways yet he still insisted on being a boorish cretin.
She reached his bunk and nearly tipped the contents of the box down, leaving it at that. But she wanted to extend Jayne a little common courtesy, though he’d never shown her any.
Or maybe she wanted to have one last look around. She’d certainly never see his room ever again. It seemed doubtful that after this she’d even stay on the ship. She didn’t think she could handle seeing Jayne take up his whoring again.
Maybe she’d find a nice dance school to attend. Or flight school, to become a licensed pilot so she could find a place on another ship. Perhaps she’d even find another man, one closer to her age who’d read a book in the last year.
River ignored the indifference and slight distaste she felt at the idea of another man and shuffled across the room, taking in the scent of Jayne hanging in the air. Leather, gun oil, cigars, and that last smell she’d never been able to identify. Just Jayne, she’d always called it.
With a sigh, she stepped forward to place the box on his bed but she paused when her toe hit something. It was under his bed and partially obscured by his covers.
She dropped the box onto the mattress and knelt down to look. It was probably pornography full of women with body shapes River could never hope to have.
She was making the right decision here.
Imagine her surprise when she discovered it was a paperback copy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
Why would he have this?
As if looking for answers, she flipped through the pages. Here and there he’d underlined passages in pencil and left a comment or two in the margins.
Next to Hamlet’s famous “to be or not to be” soliloquy, Jayne had written, You can’t do it and leave your ma with that hundan.
Polonius’s death earned a That’ll learn him!
And next to Gertrude’s announcement of Ophelia’s death, he’d written That’s never happening to MY crazy girl.
Shaken, River went to the desk to sit down, book in hand. Why would he have this? It didn’t make any sense. Turning the pages over again, she came across the scene in which Hamlet arranges the actors to re-create his father’s murder. Jayne’s scrawling hand said Play within a play. That’s what they meant.
Then it all came back to her. Several months ago, she and Simon and the captain had been discussing a film they’d seen that afternoon. Simon had remarked on a particular sequence in the film that he’d described as a “play with a play, much like Hamlet.” The Captain had understood the reference and off of Simon’s surprise explained that he’d seen an amateur production of it on Shadow many years before.
Jayne had been in the room. He hadn’t said anything or seemed to express any interest but he must have felt left out enough to look into this himself.
He wanted to understand her.
“Oh, Jayne.” Blinking back tears, River placed the book on his desk and looked up at his bulletin board.
It was covered in pictures of her. Pictures of them. In many of them, Jayne was pawing at her and grinning, waving jauntily. But one of the pictures in the corner drew her attention.
They were both on the ramp. Jayne was standing behind her, arms around her waist as they stared off at something, River couldn’t remember what. But she remembered the warm feeling she’d gotten when he dropped a kiss on her head and pulled her a little closer.
That was the Jayne that only she knew existed, maybe Kaylee if she was the one who’d taken the capture. The Jayne who was gentle with her in their private moments, no matter how many times she told him she wouldn’t break. The Jayne who hummed old folk songs until she dropped off to sleep. These actions had seemed out of character at first, but now it was all starting to make sense.
Jayne wasn’t a man of many words. He had to express himself in other ways, usually physical. Underneath the brash exterior was a man who wanted more than anything to let the girl he loved know how he felt.
Underneath it all, all of the irritations and inconveniences, he was good for her.
She put the book back where she found it and gathered up the box.
Jayne was swearing as he scrubbed at the floor. River blinked in surprise to see him there.
“What are you doing?”
He jumped slightly and looked at her over his shoulder. He looked pale, hung over, and was wearing dark glasses.
“Cleanin’ up my mess. Sorry ‘bout this, babygirl. I didn’t know.”
While pleased with his apology, she couldn’t resist raising her eyebrows. “How could you miss it?”
“I got dressed in the dark this mornin’ and didn’t see it.”
Oh. She admired his hind quarters for a moment before her gaze lowered to where his pants rode up away from his boots and saw his socks. One black, one brown.
“Why did you dress in the dark?” She set the box on her dresser and moved around him to perch on her bed, caressing the back of his head as she went.
“Cuz I knew you didn’t get much sleep last night with me bumblin’ around like a ruttin’ moose 'n I didn't wanna wake ya up again.” He sighed heavily. “This ain’t happenin’ again ya know. No way am I ever drinkin’ that much again.” Suddenly, he dropped the brush into the bucket and sat back on his heels. “Forget this mess. I’ll just buy ya a rug t’ cover it up.”
River smiled at his vocalizing her earlier thought. Her smile faded, however, when he stood up and spotted the box on the dresser.
“What’s that?” Before she could get to it, he was there, rooting through the contents. “This is all mine.”
This couldn’t look worse.
“Riv,” he said slowly. “Why’s all my stuff in a box?” The sunglasses blocked his eyes from her view but she could still feel his accusing stare anyway.
“I was angry,” she admitted, feeling her face heat up.
“So ya ain’t no more?”
“No,” she whispered.
Jayne nodded and looked back at the box. He didn’t speak for a long moment, and when he did, he tried for a light tone that failed miserably.
“What stopped ya from throwin’ my sorry ass out?”
She got up from the bed and went to stand in front of him. She reached up and removed the glasses, revealing his frightened, bloodshot blue eyes.
“I love you.” She’d been nervous about telling him but now she found that having the feelings out in the moment lifted a burden off of her shoulders. She found herself smiling so wide that her face hurt.
He looked disbelieving for a moment but after he saw the truth in her face, he smiled back.
“Are you still feeling ill?” She pressed a hand to his forehead. “We can lay down for awhile if you like.”
“Yeah, okay.” Jayne took her hand and led her to the bed. “Reckon we could both use some sleep.”
River gave him a teasing look. “To sleep, perchance to dream?”
He laughed. “Yeah, what Hammy said.”
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Date: 2006-08-29 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-29 08:53 pm (UTC)