![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
curikitten's birthday fic!
Oct. 31st, 2006 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toxic_cornTitle: Breathe, Beat, Swallow
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss. I'm just a fangirl. *fangirls*
Summary: Forcurikitten's birthday challenge.
Notes: Happy birthday, my favorite little megalomaniac! *squishes you* UST just for you!
Breathe, Beat, Swallow
1. Breathe
What was the big ruttin’ deal about birthdays, anyway? So you were a year older, big gorramn accomplishment. Only thing that made it worth it was the cake. Jayne thought longingly of thick, moist chocolate cake with lots of frosting. And sprinkles.
He huffed and dropped back in his seat, not caring how petulant he looked. The damn girl wanted a “real” party for her twenty-first and cake on the ship wasn’t gonna do it for her this year. What a prima donna brat.
“You’re gonna wanna stop that poutin’ there, Jayne,” Mal said in that tone he got when he was being serious but making it sound light. Like anyone was fooled. “Else you’re liable t’ get left behind. No one wants a grump on their birthday.”
“Fine by me,” Jayne snarled. “I didn’t wanna go anyhow.” He got up to leave but Mal grabbed his arm and pushed him back onto the mule’s bench seat.
“You’re gonna go,” Mal said, quietly, eyes flashing. “And you’re gonna sing Happy Birthday with the rest of us then you’re gonna keep your mouth shut and for once in your sorry existence pretend you care about someone other than your own self. Dong ma?”
Jayne jerked his arm out of Mal’s grip and scowled. “Don’t gotta get all rough. I’ll go but I ain’t gonna like it.”
“There’s a big surprise,” Mal muttered and dropped into the driver’s seat. “’Nara, what the hell’s takin’ so damn long? You paintin’ each one of her eyelashes separately?!”
It was no big surprise when Inara didn’t respond. Jayne drummed his fingers on his thigh. Maybe he should’ve gone ahead with Kaylee ‘n Zoe ‘n the Doc. He could be three sheets to the wind by now and willing to celebrate even Niska’s birthday with great joy.
His frown got darker. Stupid girl. Had to get all cute and special all of a sudden and get him to thinkin’ thoughts that would make him go the way Jubal Early did. Didn’t she know a man can’t control himself?! It weren’t fair. She was s’posed to stay weird and a thorn in his side, she weren’t supposed to be a person.
“We’re leavin’ without you in five minutes!” Mal boomed.
Inara came out of her shuttle just then and narrowed her eyes at Mal. “Haven’t you ever heard of being fashionably late?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of Companions who drag their asses and have to walk the six miles into town? It’s a real knee-slapper.”
“River!” Inara ignored Mal and called into her shuttle. “He’s threatening to make you walk to your party. You’d better come out now.”
Jayne chuckled but the laughter caught in his throat once River stepped clear of the shuttle and he forgot to breathe.
Skin. Who knew the girl had that much skin?
2. Beat
“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Jayne,” Kaylee chided him. She was out of breath and flushed from the doc spinning her around the dance floor for the last hour or so. Not that Jayne was counting.
“I ain’t a stick,” he protested, holding up his mug of beer. “I’m celebratin’, see?”
Kaylee gave him a look that let him know she wasn’t fooled. “Why dontcha dance?”
“I don’t dance.”
“Sure ya do!” Kaylee thought about it for a second. “I’ve seen ya dancin’ before, haven’t I?”
“Must be thinkin’ of someone else.”
Simon sat down in the chair next to Kaylee. “Yes, she must be thinking of the other land mass we know with a female designation.”
“Must be.” Jayne gulped down the rest of his beer and slammed the mug onto the table, belching thunderously. “Gotta get me another one o’ these.”
“I think you had enough,” Kaylee said, looking at him worriedly.
“I only had six,” Jayne protested.
“Is that measured in mugs or barrels?” the doc asked all snidely.
“It’s measured in shut your gorramn face ‘fore I shut it for ya.” Jayne snickered. He showed him. Stupid doc, thinkin’ he was all better ‘n him and bringin’ his stupid pretty sister on board the ship and makin’ him go all bibbledy.
Jayne rose and headed to the bar, ignoring whatever the hell Kaylee was saying. He’d only have enough once he was out of coin. ‘Sides, there weren’t no such thing as “enough.” That word wasn’t even in his vocabu- Something caught his attention from the corner of his eye and he turned before he could stop himself, knowing full well what he was gonna see.
That crazy girl was dancin’ with her fifteenth partner tonight. Not that he was keepin’ count, but it’d just be easier to count all the fellas she hadn’t danced with.
He continued on to the bar and ordered another beer, settling back to watch her. He didn’t know where she got that dress. Hell, you could hardly call it a dress; it looked like she’d put together a bunch of Inara’s silky scarves and draped ‘em over her interesting bits. Weren’t fair for her to wear somethin’ like that and expect him to keep his hands to himself. Weren’t natural. And goin’ against nature was like goin’ against the Old Man Upstairs, wasn’t it?
So really, going over to River and dancin’ with her, maybe running a hand down her back to find out if her skin was as soft and smooth as it looked was like a holy thing.
Can’t go against the Lord.
He just needed a few more drinks first, is all.
An hour later, a few drinks had turned into “Jayne loses count and wow who built this room at a tilt.” With a little difficulty, he got up and stumbled onto the dance floor, the beat of the weird-sounding music making his head throb. It was like a little elf in his head was pounding a drum in his noggin to the beat of “FIND GIRL FIND GIRL FIND GIRL FIND GIRL.”
“Jayne?” A little hand cupped his elbow.
“Hey, there, peaches,” he slurred at River Tam’s cleavage. “Been lookin’ for ya. What say we cut a rug?”
“You’re very inebriated.”
“I ain’t in any bree ated, I’m in a- Huh. Where are we? And who’s yer friend?” He leered at the girl next to River who looked just like her. Identical, but kinda shimmery and blurry. Two Rivers!
“Jayne, you-”
“Wait just a sec, I think the elf wants a solo,” Jayne said, concentrating on the pounding in his head. FOUND GIRL FOUND GIRL FOUND GIRL FALLING FALLING FALLING-
“Captain!”
BOOM.
Ow. That-
3. Swallow
Jayne opened his eyes and closed them a split second later. Lights that bright should be outlawed. And since he was pretty sure that the only lights that bright belonged in the infirmary on Serenity, that meant the doc would be servin’ time.
Good. He hoped the prick wouldn’t be allowed con-juggle visits. Conceptual? Aw hell, sex visits.
“If you wanted to get my attention, you succeeded.”
Jayne froze. She hadn’t heard that last thought, had she? But when a few minutes passed and she said nothing else, he relaxed. But only a little.
“What ‘m I doin’ in the infirm’ry?” Jayne asked and winced. His throat hurt to talk. And swallow. Well, wasn’t that a bitch.
“Alcohol poisoning. Simon had to pump your stomach. Honestly, a man your age…”
“I ain’t old!” Jayne protested.
She snorted and he felt something cool and wet land on his forehead, making him jerk in surprise. The movement made everything in him ache and he groaned.
“It’s only a compress, there’s no need to have a fit.”
“I wasn’t havin’ a fit!” Jayne growled, despite the way his throat protested. “I’m damn near blind here and then you start throwin’ shit at me, it’s bound to make a body-”
“Turn your head to the lights for a minute.”
“What’d I just say about bein’ blind-”
“You keep your eyes shut, Jayne.” The way she said his name, it sounded more like dumbass.
“Oh.” Jayne turned his head up towards the light for about a minute. “Now what?”
“Look away and open your eyes.”
He did and found her standing in front of him, looking annoyed. It didn’t take away from her overall appearance though; she was still wearin’ that flimsy dress, though she’d taken her hair down and some of her makeup had worn off.
“Guess I ruined yer birthday,” Jayne said, feeling a little bit guilty.
“I missed opening presents.” River folded her arms. “Everyone was worried that you’d finally drunk yourself to death.”
Jayne chuckled without much humor. “Well, still here. Ya’ll just have to suffer through my comp’ny just a bit longer.”
“The suffering isn’t great enough to wish you death,” she scolded him.
He looked at her for a bit, wondering why she was here. The doc should be in here, lecturing him on the evils of alcohol, Mal should’ve been waitin’ on him to wake up so he could lecture him, and Kaylee should be hoverin’ nearby all worried-like. The girl had no regard for him so why were those big brown eyes of hers lookin’ so disappointed?
“I got ya a present,” he blurted.
She looked surprised. How big of a bastard did she think he was?
“It’s in m’ pocket. It hurts to move so you’ll have to get it yerself.”
The surprise faded and now she looked like she’d just found “the catch.” Biggest bastard in the ‘verse, apparently.
“My jacket pocket,” he said. “If I wanted ya t’ grab my pecker, I’d come up with a better line than ‘I got somethin’ in my pocket for you.’”
Still, she hesitated a second before coming to stand by his side and frown down at him.
“Left pocket,” he said.
She reached in and he started wishin’ he had stashed her present in his pants pocket. Those warm little fingers of hers found the present he’d spent most of his earnings on and she pulled it out.
“Go on ‘n open it,” he snapped, offended at how she was lookin’ at it like it might blow up at any given second. Like he’d endanger himself carryin’ around a self-destructing gift.
She started with the pale pink ribbon and raised an eyebrow at him.
“I had Kaylee wrap it,” Jayne said, quickly before she got any ideas. “She saw me start t’ wrap it in newsprint an’ she stopped me.”
Then off came the creamy white paper and off came the lid and…
She held the little wood carving in the palm of her hand. “Is this…?”
“It’s an albatross,” Jayne said, suddenly embarrassed. Maybe he should’ve gotten her the butterfly paperweight instead. “I know that’s Mal’s name for ya but, uh, I thought you’d ‘preciate it just the same if it came from me. I mean, you ain’t just his albatross, you’re mi- all of our’s.”
River’s eyes had softened and she smiled at him so sweet and pretty that he had to look away.
“Thank you, Jayne. This is very thoughtful.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, gruffly. He looked up when she took his hand. What was she gonna do?
Still smiling, she took his hand and placed it on her back. He barely dared to move for a moment but then he spread his big hand out and caressed her skin.
Yep, just as smooth as it looked. Smoother, even.
The End
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss. I'm just a fangirl. *fangirls*
Summary: For
curikitten's birthday challenge.Notes: Happy birthday, my favorite little megalomaniac! *squishes you* UST just for you!
Breathe, Beat, Swallow
1. Breathe
What was the big ruttin’ deal about birthdays, anyway? So you were a year older, big gorramn accomplishment. Only thing that made it worth it was the cake. Jayne thought longingly of thick, moist chocolate cake with lots of frosting. And sprinkles.
He huffed and dropped back in his seat, not caring how petulant he looked. The damn girl wanted a “real” party for her twenty-first and cake on the ship wasn’t gonna do it for her this year. What a prima donna brat.
“You’re gonna wanna stop that poutin’ there, Jayne,” Mal said in that tone he got when he was being serious but making it sound light. Like anyone was fooled. “Else you’re liable t’ get left behind. No one wants a grump on their birthday.”
“Fine by me,” Jayne snarled. “I didn’t wanna go anyhow.” He got up to leave but Mal grabbed his arm and pushed him back onto the mule’s bench seat.
“You’re gonna go,” Mal said, quietly, eyes flashing. “And you’re gonna sing Happy Birthday with the rest of us then you’re gonna keep your mouth shut and for once in your sorry existence pretend you care about someone other than your own self. Dong ma?”
Jayne jerked his arm out of Mal’s grip and scowled. “Don’t gotta get all rough. I’ll go but I ain’t gonna like it.”
“There’s a big surprise,” Mal muttered and dropped into the driver’s seat. “’Nara, what the hell’s takin’ so damn long? You paintin’ each one of her eyelashes separately?!”
It was no big surprise when Inara didn’t respond. Jayne drummed his fingers on his thigh. Maybe he should’ve gone ahead with Kaylee ‘n Zoe ‘n the Doc. He could be three sheets to the wind by now and willing to celebrate even Niska’s birthday with great joy.
His frown got darker. Stupid girl. Had to get all cute and special all of a sudden and get him to thinkin’ thoughts that would make him go the way Jubal Early did. Didn’t she know a man can’t control himself?! It weren’t fair. She was s’posed to stay weird and a thorn in his side, she weren’t supposed to be a person.
“We’re leavin’ without you in five minutes!” Mal boomed.
Inara came out of her shuttle just then and narrowed her eyes at Mal. “Haven’t you ever heard of being fashionably late?”
“Haven’t you ever heard of Companions who drag their asses and have to walk the six miles into town? It’s a real knee-slapper.”
“River!” Inara ignored Mal and called into her shuttle. “He’s threatening to make you walk to your party. You’d better come out now.”
Jayne chuckled but the laughter caught in his throat once River stepped clear of the shuttle and he forgot to breathe.
Skin. Who knew the girl had that much skin?
2. Beat
“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Jayne,” Kaylee chided him. She was out of breath and flushed from the doc spinning her around the dance floor for the last hour or so. Not that Jayne was counting.
“I ain’t a stick,” he protested, holding up his mug of beer. “I’m celebratin’, see?”
Kaylee gave him a look that let him know she wasn’t fooled. “Why dontcha dance?”
“I don’t dance.”
“Sure ya do!” Kaylee thought about it for a second. “I’ve seen ya dancin’ before, haven’t I?”
“Must be thinkin’ of someone else.”
Simon sat down in the chair next to Kaylee. “Yes, she must be thinking of the other land mass we know with a female designation.”
“Must be.” Jayne gulped down the rest of his beer and slammed the mug onto the table, belching thunderously. “Gotta get me another one o’ these.”
“I think you had enough,” Kaylee said, looking at him worriedly.
“I only had six,” Jayne protested.
“Is that measured in mugs or barrels?” the doc asked all snidely.
“It’s measured in shut your gorramn face ‘fore I shut it for ya.” Jayne snickered. He showed him. Stupid doc, thinkin’ he was all better ‘n him and bringin’ his stupid pretty sister on board the ship and makin’ him go all bibbledy.
Jayne rose and headed to the bar, ignoring whatever the hell Kaylee was saying. He’d only have enough once he was out of coin. ‘Sides, there weren’t no such thing as “enough.” That word wasn’t even in his vocabu- Something caught his attention from the corner of his eye and he turned before he could stop himself, knowing full well what he was gonna see.
That crazy girl was dancin’ with her fifteenth partner tonight. Not that he was keepin’ count, but it’d just be easier to count all the fellas she hadn’t danced with.
He continued on to the bar and ordered another beer, settling back to watch her. He didn’t know where she got that dress. Hell, you could hardly call it a dress; it looked like she’d put together a bunch of Inara’s silky scarves and draped ‘em over her interesting bits. Weren’t fair for her to wear somethin’ like that and expect him to keep his hands to himself. Weren’t natural. And goin’ against nature was like goin’ against the Old Man Upstairs, wasn’t it?
So really, going over to River and dancin’ with her, maybe running a hand down her back to find out if her skin was as soft and smooth as it looked was like a holy thing.
Can’t go against the Lord.
He just needed a few more drinks first, is all.
An hour later, a few drinks had turned into “Jayne loses count and wow who built this room at a tilt.” With a little difficulty, he got up and stumbled onto the dance floor, the beat of the weird-sounding music making his head throb. It was like a little elf in his head was pounding a drum in his noggin to the beat of “FIND GIRL FIND GIRL FIND GIRL FIND GIRL.”
“Jayne?” A little hand cupped his elbow.
“Hey, there, peaches,” he slurred at River Tam’s cleavage. “Been lookin’ for ya. What say we cut a rug?”
“You’re very inebriated.”
“I ain’t in any bree ated, I’m in a- Huh. Where are we? And who’s yer friend?” He leered at the girl next to River who looked just like her. Identical, but kinda shimmery and blurry. Two Rivers!
“Jayne, you-”
“Wait just a sec, I think the elf wants a solo,” Jayne said, concentrating on the pounding in his head. FOUND GIRL FOUND GIRL FOUND GIRL FALLING FALLING FALLING-
“Captain!”
BOOM.
Ow. That-
3. Swallow
Jayne opened his eyes and closed them a split second later. Lights that bright should be outlawed. And since he was pretty sure that the only lights that bright belonged in the infirmary on Serenity, that meant the doc would be servin’ time.
Good. He hoped the prick wouldn’t be allowed con-juggle visits. Conceptual? Aw hell, sex visits.
“If you wanted to get my attention, you succeeded.”
Jayne froze. She hadn’t heard that last thought, had she? But when a few minutes passed and she said nothing else, he relaxed. But only a little.
“What ‘m I doin’ in the infirm’ry?” Jayne asked and winced. His throat hurt to talk. And swallow. Well, wasn’t that a bitch.
“Alcohol poisoning. Simon had to pump your stomach. Honestly, a man your age…”
“I ain’t old!” Jayne protested.
She snorted and he felt something cool and wet land on his forehead, making him jerk in surprise. The movement made everything in him ache and he groaned.
“It’s only a compress, there’s no need to have a fit.”
“I wasn’t havin’ a fit!” Jayne growled, despite the way his throat protested. “I’m damn near blind here and then you start throwin’ shit at me, it’s bound to make a body-”
“Turn your head to the lights for a minute.”
“What’d I just say about bein’ blind-”
“You keep your eyes shut, Jayne.” The way she said his name, it sounded more like dumbass.
“Oh.” Jayne turned his head up towards the light for about a minute. “Now what?”
“Look away and open your eyes.”
He did and found her standing in front of him, looking annoyed. It didn’t take away from her overall appearance though; she was still wearin’ that flimsy dress, though she’d taken her hair down and some of her makeup had worn off.
“Guess I ruined yer birthday,” Jayne said, feeling a little bit guilty.
“I missed opening presents.” River folded her arms. “Everyone was worried that you’d finally drunk yourself to death.”
Jayne chuckled without much humor. “Well, still here. Ya’ll just have to suffer through my comp’ny just a bit longer.”
“The suffering isn’t great enough to wish you death,” she scolded him.
He looked at her for a bit, wondering why she was here. The doc should be in here, lecturing him on the evils of alcohol, Mal should’ve been waitin’ on him to wake up so he could lecture him, and Kaylee should be hoverin’ nearby all worried-like. The girl had no regard for him so why were those big brown eyes of hers lookin’ so disappointed?
“I got ya a present,” he blurted.
She looked surprised. How big of a bastard did she think he was?
“It’s in m’ pocket. It hurts to move so you’ll have to get it yerself.”
The surprise faded and now she looked like she’d just found “the catch.” Biggest bastard in the ‘verse, apparently.
“My jacket pocket,” he said. “If I wanted ya t’ grab my pecker, I’d come up with a better line than ‘I got somethin’ in my pocket for you.’”
Still, she hesitated a second before coming to stand by his side and frown down at him.
“Left pocket,” he said.
She reached in and he started wishin’ he had stashed her present in his pants pocket. Those warm little fingers of hers found the present he’d spent most of his earnings on and she pulled it out.
“Go on ‘n open it,” he snapped, offended at how she was lookin’ at it like it might blow up at any given second. Like he’d endanger himself carryin’ around a self-destructing gift.
She started with the pale pink ribbon and raised an eyebrow at him.
“I had Kaylee wrap it,” Jayne said, quickly before she got any ideas. “She saw me start t’ wrap it in newsprint an’ she stopped me.”
Then off came the creamy white paper and off came the lid and…
She held the little wood carving in the palm of her hand. “Is this…?”
“It’s an albatross,” Jayne said, suddenly embarrassed. Maybe he should’ve gotten her the butterfly paperweight instead. “I know that’s Mal’s name for ya but, uh, I thought you’d ‘preciate it just the same if it came from me. I mean, you ain’t just his albatross, you’re mi- all of our’s.”
River’s eyes had softened and she smiled at him so sweet and pretty that he had to look away.
“Thank you, Jayne. This is very thoughtful.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, gruffly. He looked up when she took his hand. What was she gonna do?
Still smiling, she took his hand and placed it on her back. He barely dared to move for a moment but then he spread his big hand out and caressed her skin.
Yep, just as smooth as it looked. Smoother, even.
