Firefly fic: Piggies (River/Jayne): R
Jun. 18th, 2007 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
toxic_cornTitle: Piggies
Author: toxic_corn
Pairing: River/Jayne
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Firefly and all of the pretty, pretty characters belong to Joss Whedon and not me.
Summary: This little piggie went to market...
Notes: Written for the request post I made a few weeks back. This one's for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
crazywriterchic and it's not QUITE what she asked for but hey, I have to go where the plot bunny tells me to. I'm not good at ordering them around myself. *quivers in fear of their little twitchy noses*
Piggies
Forcrazywriterchic
Jayne wished all jobs went this way; being paid up front by a rich gent and getting put up at the classiest place in town.
Well. Classiest affordable place.
Stepping out of the first warm shower he’d had in months, Jayne absently patted his body dry and knotted the towel around his waist. ‘Bout damn time he got a nap.
With a satisfied sigh, the big man went out into the other room and sank onto the bed, settling on his back. This was way better than his narrow bed on Serenity; he actually had room to spread out.
He was almost asleep when a cold, little hand closed around his ankle in an unnervingly strong grip.
“Son of a-!” He jackknifed up to find crazy River Tam kneeling on his bed, holding onto him tightly. “The hell do ya think yer doin’?!”
“Flexor digitorum longus, flexor digitorum brevis, flexor brevis, and abductor digiti quinti,” the girl said, staring at his feet. It sounded uncomfortably close to a spell or something.
“Try that once more in normal-speak,” Jayne said flatly.
River smiled softly. “Piggies.” Before he could even ask, River took his big toe between the thumb and forefinger of the hand not keeping his ankle in place. “This little piggie went to market,” next toe, “this little piggie stayed home,” next toe, “this little piggie had roast beef,” next toe, “and this little piggie had-”
“None,” Jayne finished. “And the next one’ll go runnin’ on home, right?”
She frowned at his little toe. “He’ll have great difficulty. Hunchbacked. A little Quasimodo.”
“Hey, now!” Jayne protested, offended despite himself. “You callin’ my toe defective?”
“Looks like a cashew nut,” River said almost apologetically.
Jayne made an annoyed huffing sound and tried to shake his foot loose. “Like your toes are so hot. They’re all deformed ‘n weird from all that dancin’ your brother says you’re so good at. Just… lemee go if they’re so-”
“But I like them.” River lowered her head and before Jayne knew what she was doing, the girl had sucked his little toe into her mouth.
Surprising himself, Jayne blushed. “Spit that out now! You don’t know where it’s been.”
The girl released his toe to answer. “Smelly sock and boot. But he’s been cleaned recently so my actions are sanitary.” She smiled impishly. “You liked it.”
“Did not!”
River pointed at his traitorous John Thomas, standing at attention through the towel. “Li-ar!” she sing-songed.
“That’s just physical,” he hissed. “You let me go now!”
She released him obediently, looking a little disappointed. “I thought you’d like to play with me.”
“Well, you thought wrong,” he grumbled, trying to re-arrange the towel so his excitement wasn’t so obvious.
“You play with other girls,” River pointed out a little peevishly. “What I’m offering you now is for free, no strings attached. I ask nothing of you later.”
Jayne blinked. “But you’re worth more than that,” he said without thinking.
For a moment, she looked just as surprised as he felt. Then a pleased little smile tipped the corners of her mouth up and she got off the bed and walked to the door. Before leaving, she paused to glow at him.
“I like you, Jayne Cobb.” She slipped out the door, soft as a whisper.
Gorram pecker had just got ten times harder. Jayne growled in frustration, gripping himself. Shoulda took what she’d been offering. In the future, he’d have to leave that noble crap to Mal if he wanted to avoid a wicked case of blue balls.
THE END
Author: toxic_corn
Pairing: River/Jayne
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Firefly and all of the pretty, pretty characters belong to Joss Whedon and not me.
Summary: This little piggie went to market...
Notes: Written for the request post I made a few weeks back. This one's for
crazywriterchic and it's not QUITE what she asked for but hey, I have to go where the plot bunny tells me to. I'm not good at ordering them around myself. *quivers in fear of their little twitchy noses*Piggies
For
crazywriterchicJayne wished all jobs went this way; being paid up front by a rich gent and getting put up at the classiest place in town.
Well. Classiest affordable place.
Stepping out of the first warm shower he’d had in months, Jayne absently patted his body dry and knotted the towel around his waist. ‘Bout damn time he got a nap.
With a satisfied sigh, the big man went out into the other room and sank onto the bed, settling on his back. This was way better than his narrow bed on Serenity; he actually had room to spread out.
He was almost asleep when a cold, little hand closed around his ankle in an unnervingly strong grip.
“Son of a-!” He jackknifed up to find crazy River Tam kneeling on his bed, holding onto him tightly. “The hell do ya think yer doin’?!”
“Flexor digitorum longus, flexor digitorum brevis, flexor brevis, and abductor digiti quinti,” the girl said, staring at his feet. It sounded uncomfortably close to a spell or something.
“Try that once more in normal-speak,” Jayne said flatly.
River smiled softly. “Piggies.” Before he could even ask, River took his big toe between the thumb and forefinger of the hand not keeping his ankle in place. “This little piggie went to market,” next toe, “this little piggie stayed home,” next toe, “this little piggie had roast beef,” next toe, “and this little piggie had-”
“None,” Jayne finished. “And the next one’ll go runnin’ on home, right?”
She frowned at his little toe. “He’ll have great difficulty. Hunchbacked. A little Quasimodo.”
“Hey, now!” Jayne protested, offended despite himself. “You callin’ my toe defective?”
“Looks like a cashew nut,” River said almost apologetically.
Jayne made an annoyed huffing sound and tried to shake his foot loose. “Like your toes are so hot. They’re all deformed ‘n weird from all that dancin’ your brother says you’re so good at. Just… lemee go if they’re so-”
“But I like them.” River lowered her head and before Jayne knew what she was doing, the girl had sucked his little toe into her mouth.
Surprising himself, Jayne blushed. “Spit that out now! You don’t know where it’s been.”
The girl released his toe to answer. “Smelly sock and boot. But he’s been cleaned recently so my actions are sanitary.” She smiled impishly. “You liked it.”
“Did not!”
River pointed at his traitorous John Thomas, standing at attention through the towel. “Li-ar!” she sing-songed.
“That’s just physical,” he hissed. “You let me go now!”
She released him obediently, looking a little disappointed. “I thought you’d like to play with me.”
“Well, you thought wrong,” he grumbled, trying to re-arrange the towel so his excitement wasn’t so obvious.
“You play with other girls,” River pointed out a little peevishly. “What I’m offering you now is for free, no strings attached. I ask nothing of you later.”
Jayne blinked. “But you’re worth more than that,” he said without thinking.
For a moment, she looked just as surprised as he felt. Then a pleased little smile tipped the corners of her mouth up and she got off the bed and walked to the door. Before leaving, she paused to glow at him.
“I like you, Jayne Cobb.” She slipped out the door, soft as a whisper.
Gorram pecker had just got ten times harder. Jayne growled in frustration, gripping himself. Shoulda took what she’d been offering. In the future, he’d have to leave that noble crap to Mal if he wanted to avoid a wicked case of blue balls.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-06-18 09:09 pm (UTC)I got quoted! Yay! I liked this. I <3 this! I love noble!Jayne.
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Date: 2007-06-18 09:58 pm (UTC)Aww, Jayne being all noble and selfless (and kicking himself for it afterwards!)
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Date: 2007-06-18 10:45 pm (UTC)That noble crap is awfully frustating *sigh*
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Date: 2007-06-18 11:49 pm (UTC)And Jayne. What the HELL were you thinking? Now the only action you'll get is with Rosie and her five sisters. Sheesh.
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Date: 2007-06-19 12:40 am (UTC)Poor Jayne, being all noble. Glad he's learned his lesson.
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Date: 2007-06-19 05:05 am (UTC)"But you're worth more than that."
*sigh, melts*
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Date: 2010-07-03 10:36 pm (UTC)