toxic_corn: Summer Glau is pretty. (rayne deadly OTP)
toxic_corn ([personal profile] toxic_corn) wrote2006-08-31 03:43 pm

Firefly Fic: Deleted Scene (River/Jayne) NC-17

Title: Deleted Scene
Series: Where in the 'Verse is River Tam? sort of.
Author: Toxic Corn
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: River and Jayne belong to Joss.
Notes: My first attempt at smut. *bites nails* This takes place a night after "The Training House" in the Where in the 'Verse is River Tam series. I think you could read this without having read the series, but it would be a good idea. If you don't, then it takes place at Inara's training house. There ya go. I couldn't think up a title so "Deleted Scene" is just going to have to do.


If I come to you tomorrow night, will you turn me away?


When he told her he wouldn’t, he had to take a deep breath first, like on those occasions when he had to climb on top of the ship or get lowered down on a narrowed cord. While the ship was in flight. Going a million miles per hour.


The girl was dangerous. Not because of her government sponsored super powers; if she went all wooly, he could handle her. Well, maybe. If he was having a good day. And it wasn’t Mal’s protectiveness toward the girl that made her dangerous, though the possibility of getting spaced on her account still worried him a little.


He loved his girl. But he had a history of ruining what he loved. That mess with Mattie back in the day that sent him out into the black to begin with…


Jayne got up from the bed and strode across the room to look at the clock. Best not to be poking at those skeletons in the closet. Not when his girl was gonna be here in the next four and a half minutes.


Experimentally, he lifted an arm and sniffed at his pit. He’d showered earlier in the evening, but here he was sweatin’ so gorramn much he couldn’t be too sure if he’d managed to stink himself up again. Luckily, he still smelled clean.


Had he been this nervous his first time? He couldn’t recollect. All he could remember was that he’d been drunk and bawling and the whore had smelled like sugary oranges.


He’d never been with anyone he hadn’t paid before.


Grabbing up the towel he’d used after his shower from where he’d carelessly thrown it over a chair back, he dried the sweat off his face and went up under his shirt to get his chest and belly.


Huh. He looked down at his shirt and plucked at the hemline. Should he take it off before River showed up? Or should he keep it on and let her peel it off of him?


Best keep it on. Having his girl strip him nekid could be all kinds ‘o sexy. He grinned at the idea.


A soft knock at the door snapped him out of his fantasy.


River.


Maybe he should be on the bed when she came in? That might look like he was just eager to rip her nightie off and sex her six ways from Sunday. Which, yeah, he wanted to do, but girlfolk didn’t like that presumptuous attitude, they liked to think you had to work for it. Maybe he could stand by the window? Or-


KNOCK KNOCK.


Or you could answer the door, dummy.


In his haste, he didn’t notice the chair til it was too late.


~*~



The resounding crash prompted River to throw the door open. She was surprised to see Jayne on the floor amongst chair fragments, cursing fluently.


“Jayne!” River rushed over and knelt by his side. “Did you get any splinters? The little mouse saved the lion’s paw; this girl can help her Jayne.”


“’M fine,” Jayne muttered. He picked up a chair leg and tired to fit it into its slot with little success. “Gonna have t’ pay for this, gorramn it. Unless I hide it in the closet.”


River picked up a chair piece and turned it over in her hands. “Shoddy craftsmanship. Overpriced lo se.”


“So it prolly woulda fell apart eventually?”


“Prolly.”


Jayne frowned and to River’s amazement, the blood rushed to his face. “Doubt it helped me fallin’ on it like some big ox.”


Every person was capable of blushing. Facial skin has more capillary loops per square millimeter and generally more vessels per unit than other skin areas. The cheek muscles in particular contain wider blood vessels and are nearer to the surface of the skin, where visibility is less likely to be diminished by tissue fluid. Still, the sight of Jayne blushing surprised her.


But then she felt his discomfort, his nervousness about being her first lover, and his embarrassment over his uncharacteristic clumsiness.


Wordlessly, she dropped the chair piece and scooted close to wrap her arms around his neck. When his arms closed around her, she pressed a kiss to his burning cheek.


“I love you, Jayne.”


“Even though I’m a big, clumsy ox?” He sounded a little grumpy but the hand smoothing up and down her back let her know she’d said the right thing.


She rested her forehead against his temple and giggled. “Because you’re a big, clumsy ox.”


He growled and pulled her into his lap. “You’re gettin’ mouthy, girl.”


In answer, she stuck her tongue out at him, making him laugh.


“We better move this to the bed,” Jayne chuckled, standing up with her in his arms. “That racket must’ve woke Mal up ‘n I’d like t’ have a little fun ‘fore he comes to investigate ‘n finds us.”


River shook her head. “Won’t happen.”


“Yeah? Cuz he slept right through it?”


“Nope.” River swung her legs playfully. “He already knows I’m here.”


~*~



His heart actually stopped beating. Here he thought that was just a figure of speech, but nope. The old ticker took its first coffee break in 36 years.


“He knows?! Did he see you come in here?”


“No. Your bao bei is a master in stealth.”


“Then how does he know?!”


“I told him.”


“You what?!”


The damned girl actually started laughing. And not little giggles, either, but real belly laughter with the occasional snort. Nice to see his upcoming death was so amusing to her.


“Why’d ya hafta go ‘n do that? You wanna see me take a one way trip out the airlock?” He dropped to the bed miserably, holding River in his lap. “Is this gonna be like the condemned man’s last request? I sex you tonight and get killed in the morning?”


Her laughter finally started to peter out and she wiped away tears – tears!- from her cheeks. “No one is dying tomorrow, Jayne Cobb.”


“So the day after tomorrow, then?”


“No.”


“The day after that?”


“No!” She cupped his face in her hands and kissed the tip of his nose. “I told the captain what we were doing so he wouldn’t be surprised to find us in the morning.”


Jayne scowled. “I don’t need Mal wakin’ me up in the morning like he’s my damn mother.”


“You sleep heavily after a night of copulation and I don’t plan on starting the day before you do. The captain must be our alarm clock.”


How the hell did she know that? “Did you get that outta my head?”


River smiled apologetically. “Got curious. Poor growly bear.”


Relaxing, Jayne dropped backwards and River rolled over so she was sprawled along his body, her face pressed into the side of his neck.


“I can’t be an ox and a bear, baby doll,” he teased.


“So be Jayne.” She lifted her head and leaned over to kiss him.


Jayne hadn’t kissed a girl since he was seventeen years old. Then she went off and fell in love with his little brother. He hadn’t wanted to kiss anyone else since and hadn’t gotten much opportunity since the women he made time with didn’t allow it. But then his crazy girl came along.


And damn she did things with her tongue that made his John Thomas stand up and take notice.


She must’ve read his mind because those little fingers of hers started to tiptoe down his chest, over his stomach, and popped open the top button of his trousers.


He caught her hand. “You really sure ya wanna do this with me?”


“This girl is very certain,” River said solemnly.


“Because pretty soon here, I’m not gonna be able t’ stop.” He heard how pleading he sounded and it made him wince inside. But he really did have to warn her.


Please, please, please be sure.


~*~



Jayne was going to change his mind unless she did something fast. She sat up, still straddling his thighs. He looked hurt that she’d pulled away, but that look faded when she tugged her nightgown up over her head and tossed it across the room.


She had his undivided attention now. His worry had been effectively silenced by her near nudity but she could sense it would find its voice again eventually.


“Look.” River shook her head so her hair fell down her back. She cupped her tiny breasts and flicked her thumbs over her hardened nipples. “They do this when I think about you. When I see you. Touch you.”


She hadn’t expected to get so aroused by his attention, but his slack-jawed, dazed expression was giving her delicious shivers. The Jayne reaction, as she called it.


Carefully watching his face, she smoothed her hands down along her rib cage, over her stomach until she slid her fingers into her underpants.


“It aches here sometimes.” Her normally flute-like voice was a throaty purr. “Gets so hot and throbbing. Sometimes I have to go to my bunk. I always wish you were with me.”


Jayne groaned, a pained sound. “Baby girl, you’re killin’ me.”


“I’m sorry.” She removed her hands from her underpants and rested them on his thighs, watching him hungrily as his eyes glazed over with lust and longing. “I was in the middle of something, wasn’t I?”


This time when he she unzipped his fly, he didn’t stop her.


~*~



Jayne groaned long and low when her hand closed around him. It’d been so long since he’d been with anyone that he really had to fight to keep from coming that instant. His eyes had slammed shut at first contact, but he forced them open so he could look at her.


Her flushed face was uncertain. “Jayne?”


“You’re doin’ fine,” he rasped out. “Perfect.”


She managed to pump him slowly a few times before he had to stop her.


Off of her confused look, he said, “Too excited for that. Need to save it for the big show.”


Her smile was sweet as she crawled off his lap and tucked herself under the covers. It turned him on something fierce to watch her mostly naked body stretching gracefully where he usually slept. She patted the place next to her.


“Come play with me, Jayne.”


“Oh girl, you best believe I will.” He stood up to kick off his pants and boxers, then tugged his t-shirt up over his head. Grinning excitedly, he lifted the covers to climb in after her, but she planted one of those little hands of hers in the middle of his chest, effectively stopping him.


Before he could even ask, River said, “Want to see. She likes ogling Jayne clothed…”


“And Jayne nekid?” He prompted her. He could feel her gaze as it raked over him, warm and admiring.


“Michelangelo couldn’t have done any better.” She was looking directly at his erection. “David is certainly found wanting.”


Jayne felt raw, green jealously pool in his gut. “Thought I was yer first.”


Her big, startled brown eyes met his. “You are!”


“Then who’s Mike ‘n Dave?” he snarled.


She giggled. “Jayne. Michelangelo’s a sculptor and David his work of art. I have to take you to a museum so you can see.”


Relaxing, Jayne climbed into bed with her and propped himself over her body. He admired how her long black tendrils of hair contrasted with the stark white of the pillowcase.


“So’s I can gawp at some stone man’s dangly bits? No thanks.”


River just smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “You’ll see.” She tilted her head up and kissed him long and deep, her hands smoothing over his shoulder blades. “There’s so much I want to show you.”


He wasn’t sure what she meant by that so he mentally set it aside for later thought. Despite what the crew said, he did have his moments where he’d sit and suss things out. Nothing too deep like secrets of the universe, but just things he’d seen and heard. This girl under him and holding him like he was something she treasured understood that about him.


“You’re still covered up, girl.” Jayne slid his finger under the waistband of her underwear. “Best do somethin’ about that.”


“Can’t continue without the proper attire,” she agreed, lifting her hips.


He wasted no time in whisking the flimsy bit of fabric down her legs. Without really thinking about it, he stuffed them under the pillowcase.


“Souvenier?” River asked, sounding amused.


“Somethin’ like that,” he agreed, grinning. She looked so gorramn beautiful smiling up at him that he couldn’t help but go right back to kissing her. He could kiss her every day of his life and never get tired of it.


Not wanting to spook her, he slowly brought his hand down under the covers and between her legs to test how ready she was. A jolt went through him at how soaking wet he found her.


“Gorramn, baby girl, you’re damn near ready for me,” he breathed in awe. They’d hardly even done anything yet.


“Been ready for you since supper.” In response to his amazed look, she explained, “You kept sucking on your spoon.”


Jayne felt a proud, foolish grin spread across his face. He could turn his girl on without even trying. Shiny.


“You’re not quite ready yet, bao bei,” he said. “This is your first time and I’m a big man.”


She smiled a lazy, sultry smile and spread her thighs for him. “Get me ready, then.”


Ohshit. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and tried to calm himself down. He counted to fifty and opened his eyes when River’s hand touched his face.


“Jayne?”


“’m okay. Let’s take care of ya now, baby doll.” Gently, he cupped her sex and smiled when she sighed in pleasure. “Ya like that?”


“Yes.” Her hands glided over his shoulders to settle at the back of his neck.


He inserted a finger inside of her, carefully watching her face for any sign of discomfort. “’n this?”


Her head fell to the side, eyes fluttering shut. “Mm hm.”


Slowly, he started to pump his finger in and out, watching her all the while. He was fascinated by the blush that spread across her blissful face, down her neck, and to the tips of her breasts.


“Jayne,” she moaned, hands sliding up to grip his hair.


“Right here,” he answered her and added a second finger.


River made a small noise and started moving her hips.


“Just like that,” he whispered in her ear. Not stopping his thrusting fingers, he started rubbing her clit in small circles.


“Jayyyne!” Now she was gripping his hair so tight that it kinda hurt but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop her. He was amazed by her reaction as she moved against his fingers faster and her breathing came in shallow pants.


When he pressed her clit hard, he had to cover her mouth with his to suppress her shriek when she came.


He couldn’t remember ever being this turned on, just from watching a woman have an orgasm. Guess it helped that this was for real and not an act, like when he paid for it. Maybe that was part of it. Mostly it was just her. Hearing her voice, smelling her scent as she walked by, seeing her across a room, or feeling her hair brush his arm could set him off. It only stood to reason that watching her come because of him could make it so he could hardly see straight.


“Jayne’s in need,” River whispered when he tore his mouth away to breathe.


He nodded, unable to deny it.


She untangled her fingers from his hair and grabbed his ass, legs coming up to circle his waist.


“Let me take care of you now, my Jayne,” she purred.


~*~



It made River feel powerful to make Jayne shudder.


He reached down between them, taking hold of his erection to guide into her center. For a moment, he paused and looked at her, a question in his eyes.


“You have my full and express permission,” she whispered, arching her back. “Now fill me!”


Jayne’s eyes rolled back in his head. “Wo de ma!”


And he entered her.


River had closed her eyes in anticipation but they flew open once the full length of him was inside her. It didn’t feel good or bad just… big and slightly uncomfortable. She shifted to try to ease the pressure his stretching her caused but his hand on her hip stopped her.


“Stay still a bit,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. “You’re gonna make me…”


“Prematurely ejaculate?”


He narrowed his eyes at her. “Just stay still.”


“All right.”


Jayne dropped his head to rest between her breasts and took several deep breaths. “You okay?”


The tight, “too much” feeling had faded a little so she nodded. “I am.”


He raised his head to look at her sheepishly. “Uh, I didn’t feel a… There wasn’t a…”


River smoothed away the lines on his forehead. “I’ve been studying dance for years. Some of the positions I’ve had to be in were straining and broke my hymen.”


The relief was clear on his face. “Okay. Uh… I think ‘m ready if you are.”


She tightened her legs around his waist and nodded eagerly. “Yes, I’m ready. Very much so.”


~*~



Ohhhh, gorramn this was torture and pleasure at the same time. She fit so tight and perfect it made him want to just pound into her. But this was for her, something she’d been asking for a long time and he couldn’t disappoint her by hurting her and then bringing himself off while leaving her wanting.


Like his ma always told him, ladies first. ‘Course, she hadn’t been talkin’ ‘bout sexing.


He kept his strokes slow and even, taking it easy.


But then she started shaking.


“River?” He froze. He couldn’t see her face, somehow that hair of hers was covering it up. “You okay?”


She nodded and he resumed his steady pace but stopped when she started shaking again. “River doll, if I’m-”


She made a small noise he recognized and his eyes narrowed. “Are you laughin’?”


She snorted and covered her mouth.


“What’s so damn funny?” he hissed.


River grasped his hips and made him thrust into her again. “Squish.”


He stared at her in disbelief, then down at where their bodies were joined. “Girl, you’re insane, you know that?”


She started giggling uncontrollably and Jayne just couldn’t hold on to his indignation and found himself laughing along with her.


“You get used to the sound,” he told her. “Can I keep goin’ or what?”


“Keep going.” She gave him an apologetic look. “I’ll try not to laugh.”


“Okay.”


He kept going and she really did try not to laugh. Still, a giggle escaped here and there until finally, she did eventually stop. Instead of laughter now, she was moaning and clutching at him tightly.


“Go faster,” she whispered in his ear. “I feel it starting.”


Gladly, he started thrusting faster, harder until he’d completely forgotten about the broken chair, being perfect for her, her laughter, everything. All that existed was him and her and the way she was saying his name over and over.


She keened softly. “Jayne, please! I need! I need…” Her head thrashed on the pillow as she scratched her nails down his back. “Jayne!”


He knew just what she needed because he needed it, too. Pressing his mouth to hers in a sloppy kiss, he flicked over her clit twice and just like that she shattered.


~*~



River felt all the heat pooling in her belly until Jayne released it. It seemed to radiate out through her scalp, her hands, her feet. They could use her as a heat source if they could find a way to harness all the energy. The heat sizzled from her sex up to her breasts and her breath caught at the feeling.


A moment later, Jayne came with a roar of her name and sagged down to drop by her side. “Guh,” he said.


“Uh huh,” she agreed.


They both lay there panting, trying to recover.


Finally, Jayne cracked open an eye to look at her. “What time is Mal gonna get us up, tomorrow?”


“Eight,” she answered.


Jayne slid closer to her and wrapped his arms around her middle. “Best get to sleep now, then, so we can have another round ‘fore he gets here.”


River giggled and nestled down under the covers. “Best get to. Goodnight, Jayne.”


“Mm, night. Love you.”


“Love you more.”


“’zats not even pos’ble.”


But she couldn’t argue back because she’d already drifted into sleep.


END.


Previous < The Training House : Next > The Museum
mystic_notions: (Rayne)

[personal profile] mystic_notions 2006-08-31 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
GUH! And holy hotness Batman. No brain left.

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
:D Thank you! I can get you a replacement brain if you need it. It's not like my brother's using his...

(no subject)

[personal profile] mystic_notions - 2006-09-01 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mystic_notions - 2006-09-01 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 03:33 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] fairandbright.livejournal.com 2006-08-31 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
*squee* OMG, finally! That was sooooo good! :) Yay!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
*gasp* Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! Maybe I can work my confidence up and make River and Jayne boink more often. (I apologize for the use of the word "boink.")

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 03:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 04:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 04:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 05:06 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] crazywriterchic.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
~*~*sizzle*~*~

WWwwwwow. That was great, and hot, and funny, and hot, and wow.

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
Sweet! Thank you so much.

[identity profile] troy-gal.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
That was even better than I expected. Have you entered this story into the smut-o-thon at [livejournal.com profile] cobb_and_tam?

[identity profile] troy-gal.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
I forgot to mention how much I loved the "squish" moment. :)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
I was worried that I'd built this up for too long and it'd be a let down when I finally posted it, so I'm glad you liked it. I'm not sure if I can enter this into the smut-o-thon since it's sort of part of a longer story.

Maybe I can write something else for the smut-o-thon. *ponders*

[identity profile] jynnantonnyx28.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
"squish" ROFLMAO!! :D:D

funny and sexy :) well done!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
And here I thought everyone would be grossed out by "squish."

I'm glad you dug it, thanks for reading! :D

[identity profile] thecricket.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I loved this. Really and Truly. So realistic and wonderful with all the embarrassment and self doubt that comes with relationships and sex. I loved every word of it :)

*adds to memories*

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
:) Thank you. I'm grinning like an idiot now. << see?

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] thecricket.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 04:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com - 2006-09-01 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] esclaramonde.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
*rolls tongue back in*
ZOMG that was amazing! Smut-tastic! Shag-a-licious!

And, I found two new Rayne series' - this is just becoming the shiniest day ever!

I'll second the request for more [personal profile] toxic_corn 'boinking'. Erm... I mean, Rayne fic with boinking involved, written by [personal profile] toxic_corn... *blush*

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! :D I hope you like those serieseseses. (How do you say the plural without having it sound awkward?)

I'll second the request for more toxic_corn 'boinking'. Erm... I mean, Rayne fic with boinking involved, written by toxic_corn... *blush*

LMAO Nice save!

[identity profile] mik109.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
Very nice. Your first attempt at smut is definitely a success. Congratulations! :D

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :) I'm very relieved by the response, lol.

[identity profile] just-unravel.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
I heart nervous!Jayne--he's so cute. Very good smut. I think I'm becoming overloaded with all the smut now. =) Thanks for writing this.

*whee*

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I also heart nervous!Jayne, it's terrific fun writing him.

I think I'm becoming overloaded with all the smut now.

That's why I'm spacing them out, reading one a day. (Actually, I didn't read any yesterday so I wouldn't be accidentally influenced by anybody.)

[identity profile] jaynedancing.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
This hugely funny and hugely sexy and hugely sweet. It really seemed like their first time because stuff went wrong and there were giggles and they didn't perform the whole karma sutra with expertise (those fics are great fun but this is far more authentic).

"Or you could answer the door, dummy." I sniggered and sniggered until there were tears, I love that his poise went, shows it really matters to him.

This was brilliant. :D

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Thanks, there aren't nearly enough fics with Jayne being a bumbling doofus, so dithering around about how River should find him and breaking a chair were a must for me.

Yay, that was one of my more favorite lines writing this and I'm glad you liked it.

[identity profile] jaynedancing.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
I forgot Please, please, please be sure. That just made me melt. XD Squeeee!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Poor vulnerable Jayne...

[identity profile] jayneswoman.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 10:21 am (UTC)(link)
*swoon*

*picks self up off floor*

Guh! That was hot and sweet. Love the way you wrote them with each other. So kind and tender. River so sure that she told Mal, and Jayne so uncertain. Lovely smut!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Eeee, thank you! I feel so silly for being nervous posting this now.

[identity profile] romanceguru.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 11:24 am (UTC)(link)

This is your first smut piece? I wouldn't have known it! Love the bit of realism with the 'squish' part and River giggling! This also made me chuckle:

“Michelangelo couldn’t have done any better.” She was looking directly at his erection. “David is certainly found wanting.”

Jayne felt raw, green jealously pool in his gut. “Thought I was yer first.”

Overall, very steamy hot!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
*blush* Thank you so much.

[identity profile] curi-o.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
"z'at's not even pos'ble."

Okay. So, firstly, it's a "deleted scene" from one of my favorite series, which I trust will be put on the organizational post.

Secondly, I applaud your use of time/concentration while we were talking, as this was definitely the better choice.

Thirdly, switching viewpoints? Stroke of genius. Absolute and unadulterated River Tam-like genius.

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-01 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Yep, I included it in the orginizational post, no worries.

As for switching viewpoints, many Rayne authors have done that, many much better than me. :P I like stories that switch viewpoints so you're not having to take everything for granted because of one biased character.

I always love your feedback, I usually have much to think about aftewards. :D

[identity profile] karanina.livejournal.com 2006-09-03 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow! I love deleted scenes, and this was DEFINATELY no exception!

[identity profile] toxic-corn.livejournal.com 2006-09-03 07:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh sweet, thank you! :D