toxic_corn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
toxic_corn) wrote2007-02-15 07:09 pm
toxic_corn) wrote2007-02-15 07:09 pm
Entry tags:
Firefly fic: The Present (River/Jayne), R: Chapter Ten
Series: The Present
Title: Chapter Ten (10/11)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toxic_corn
Rating: R
Pairing: River/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss Whedon. I own nothing and earn no money from this.
Summary: A mysterious package from Jayne's past will change the course of his future.
Notes: Another AU. This time, I didn't kill the crew. :D Everything is pretty much the same except River and Simon aren't on board the ship. At least, not right away.
Catch up on earlier chapters at the organizational post.
CHAPTER TEN
He'd been trying to sleep for a few hours when he heard his bunk open and quiet footsteps come down the ladder. Jayne knew who it was and sat up to turn on the light, revealing River at the foot of his bed.
"What're ya doin' here?" Jayne asked her, quietly. Since the confrontation in the mess a few days ago, they'd done a good job of avoiding each other; he'd been hoping it would stay that way until she and Simon got off on Boros.
"I never forgot you," she said, hugging herself for warmth. "I had you in my head the whole time."
"You don't owe me an explanation," Jayne mumbled, looking away. "Government baddies hurtin' on you and you're supposed to worry about some dumbfuck back home twiddlin' his thumbs all the while? Nah, don't worry about it."
River looked stricken. "Jayne, no!" She sat down on the foot of the bed. "There was pain. And more pain. And darkness and fear and I called and called-!"
"Shhh." He reached out and took her hand. "Don't worry on it. Just don't think about it, like you said."
"She was put in stasis because she wasn't responding to training properly," River recited, eyes going glassy.
"Riv? You need me to go get Simon?" Jayne asked, not liking how disconnected she looked.
"She doesn't follow the prescribed cues, just calls out a name. Jayne. The individual she attempts contact with on a weekly basis, according to our records."
An uneasy feeling curled up inside his guts. "What are you saying, apple blossom?"
The endearment shook her out of her haze and sadness made her eyes go shiny with unshed tears. "They wanted me to be their weapon, to accept their mission. But I wouldn't. I just wanted Jayne."
"I don't understand," Jayne said, though he was starting to get an inkling. He threw the covers off and started to get up. "I'm just gonna go get your brother-"
Her hand shot out and she grabbed his wrist with surprising strength. "Some of it sank it but I managed to resist most of it. They cut and cut and made my brain different but I still wanted to be River. Jayne's River."
Jayne stared at her in horror. "They cut you?"
"Yes. But I only ever wanted to be River." She hung her head. "I've failed. I'm not the girl you used to know."
Well, he couldn't argue with that. "I ain't the boy you used to know, either. So I guess we're even."
"Even," River repeated, lifting her head. "I'd been missing you for a year when they froze me for being rebellious. They thought that with enough time, they could mold me into their desired image. Be the girl weapon, let Jayne go."
"If I'd known, I woulda gotten you out of there," Jayne growled. "All ya had to do was write me-"
"I did," she said, sadly. "They intercepted mail. First lose contact with friends, then gradually the family. Less suspicious that way."
Embarrassed, Jayne cleared his throat. "Guess I shoulda known you was in trouble if you weren't writin' to me. Shoulda known you wouldn't give up on me."
"I loved you," River said without condemnation. The hand around his wrist loosened its grip and slid downwards to his hand. "I still do."
"River," Jayne said warningly as his heartbeat nearly drowned out his words. "I ain't the way I used to be. I'm mean and bad and I'll hurt ya in the end."
"No." River shook her head. "You would never hurt me. You'd sooner hurt yourself."
"What makes you so sure?" Jayne challenged her.
"Because you love me too," River said, simply. She pressed her free hand over his pounding heart. "I hear it. You've been longing for your girl a long time and now she's back."
Jayne shut his eyes tight. "But I can't keep her."
"Why?" The tears in that one word made him open his eyes and his already battered heart ripped down the middle to see the hurt in her face. "Because I'm too young. Too crazy. Not your girl anymore."
"Past should stay in the past," Jayne said, quietly. "You deserve better'n me. I'd only let ya down."
"I've let you down many times already." She let go of his hand, let her other hand slide off of his chest. "I'm sorry."
"You got nothin' ta be sorry for, ap-"
"I'll return to my room. We reach Boros tomorrow and you'll never have to see me again." River got up off his bed and trudged sadly back to the ladder.
"Riv-"
"I've only ever loved you, Jayne Cobb." She smiled at him and it looked like it killed her almost as much as it did him. "It will be strange loving someone else. But if it's what you prefer, I'll do it."
"I just want ya to be happy," Jayne said.
She nodded. "I know. I wish the same for you."
After she left, her scent still lingered in the air and Jayne didn't sleep the rest of the night.
~*~
"I greatly appreciate what you've done for us, Captain Reynolds," Simon said to Mal, shaking his hand. "Thank you."
Mal nodded. "You're welcome. Aside from a rocky start, it's been nice havin' you Tams on board."
"Yes, I think I've found the right medication for River. She'll always have emotional scarring from whatever it was she went through but..." He trailed off and smiled at his sister with warm affection. "She'll be all right."
"You take care of this brother o' yours, River," Mal said, squeezing River's shoulder.
"He takes so much looking after," River gently teased, making both men smile.
Everyone else came forward to say their individual goodbyes, all except Jayne who lurked above on the catwalk. By his figuring, he and River had said their goodbyes last night. And while he wasn't so mad at Simon anymore for the mistakes he'd made years ago, for appearances sake he still couldn't talk to him. Would look like he was going soft if he did.
Then she and Simon were headed down the ramp and Mal was hitting the button to close the doors and Jayne couldn't take much more. He ran back to his bunk and locked it up tight, dropping down onto his bed.
Something make a crinkling sound when his backside hit the sheets and he curiously got up to find out what it was. A crisp white sheet of paper along with some old, moldy looking envelopes.
Jayne, the note read. I found these in River's file and thought you should read them. Simon.
The envelopes were addressed to him, stamped but not postmarked. They were in River's handwriting.
He ripped open the first letter and saw it was dated just after she would've arrived at The Academy. Dear Jayne, Greetings from The Academy! It's so noisy and crowded here; nothing at all like our quiet little community. I've only been gone 48 hours but I miss you terribly. I'm looking forward to your letters. Love, Your Apple Blossom.
The next letter he picked up was several months later. "Jayne, Please write back to me. I miss you. River."
The next was a few weeks after that. "I dream of you nightly. You may not want me anymore but it's not a matter of want for me. I need you. Please send me some sign that I still matter."
Jayne couldn't read the rest. He flung them away from him and bolted up out of his bunk. "Mal!!" he shouted. "Get us back on-" When he reached the catwalk again, he paused.
The group was still gathered in the cargo bay and the ramp was down again.
"Well, go on and get her, stupid," Mal said, sounding put out.
Grinning, Jayne clattered down the stairs and sprinted down the ramp onto the dock area. He looked all around frantically and some distance away spotted Simon talking with another transport captain. River stood a few feet away from her brother, holding her bag with both hands, shoulders slumped in dejection.
"River!" he bellowed, waving his arms.
She looked up in shock and a beautiful smile spread across her face when she saw him running towards her. Dropping her bag, she ran to meet him halfway.
The crowd of people had to walk carefully around the scene they were creating when Jayne swept her up in his arms to twirl her around as she giggled happily.
"Look, I know we ain't the same as we used ta be," Jayne said, panting for breath. "But whaddya say we give it a try, get to know each other again? I screwed up and let you go once and I ain't gonna make the same mistake twice."
"That sounds like a brilliant plan!" River cupped his face in her hands and kissed him hard, nearly making him drop her in his surprise. But then he recovered from his shock and kissed her back just as hard, making her moan the way she used to.
A delicate cough made them split apart and they looked up to find Simon smiling at them. "I'm guessing we're going back on Serenity?"
"You guess right," Jayne said, adjusting his hold on River. "Getcher bags 'n follow me."
The crew greeted them with smiles when they walked back on board, Jayne leading the way with a triumphant look on his face and River in his arms. "Mal," he nodded at the captain. "Got ya a medic."
"We'll be needin' one of those," Mal agreed. "You interested in the job, Tam?"
"I am."
"Shiny. You know where the infirmary is." Mal turned to say something to Jayne but the merc was already halfway up the stairs. "Jayne, you two ain't gonna... already...?"
"Got some lost time to make up for," Jayne called over his shoulder. "See ya'll in a week."
Mal made a face. "A week. He wishes. Okay, everybody, we got places ta be and people to see. Let's get this boat movin'." And he reached out and hit the button to close the door, this time for good.
< Chapter Nine : Epilogue >
Title: Chapter Ten (10/11)
Author:
toxic_cornRating: R
Pairing: River/Jayne
Disclaimer: Firefly belongs to Joss Whedon. I own nothing and earn no money from this.
Summary: A mysterious package from Jayne's past will change the course of his future.
Notes: Another AU. This time, I didn't kill the crew. :D Everything is pretty much the same except River and Simon aren't on board the ship. At least, not right away.
Catch up on earlier chapters at the organizational post.
He'd been trying to sleep for a few hours when he heard his bunk open and quiet footsteps come down the ladder. Jayne knew who it was and sat up to turn on the light, revealing River at the foot of his bed.
"What're ya doin' here?" Jayne asked her, quietly. Since the confrontation in the mess a few days ago, they'd done a good job of avoiding each other; he'd been hoping it would stay that way until she and Simon got off on Boros.
"I never forgot you," she said, hugging herself for warmth. "I had you in my head the whole time."
"You don't owe me an explanation," Jayne mumbled, looking away. "Government baddies hurtin' on you and you're supposed to worry about some dumbfuck back home twiddlin' his thumbs all the while? Nah, don't worry about it."
River looked stricken. "Jayne, no!" She sat down on the foot of the bed. "There was pain. And more pain. And darkness and fear and I called and called-!"
"Shhh." He reached out and took her hand. "Don't worry on it. Just don't think about it, like you said."
"She was put in stasis because she wasn't responding to training properly," River recited, eyes going glassy.
"Riv? You need me to go get Simon?" Jayne asked, not liking how disconnected she looked.
"She doesn't follow the prescribed cues, just calls out a name. Jayne. The individual she attempts contact with on a weekly basis, according to our records."
An uneasy feeling curled up inside his guts. "What are you saying, apple blossom?"
The endearment shook her out of her haze and sadness made her eyes go shiny with unshed tears. "They wanted me to be their weapon, to accept their mission. But I wouldn't. I just wanted Jayne."
"I don't understand," Jayne said, though he was starting to get an inkling. He threw the covers off and started to get up. "I'm just gonna go get your brother-"
Her hand shot out and she grabbed his wrist with surprising strength. "Some of it sank it but I managed to resist most of it. They cut and cut and made my brain different but I still wanted to be River. Jayne's River."
Jayne stared at her in horror. "They cut you?"
"Yes. But I only ever wanted to be River." She hung her head. "I've failed. I'm not the girl you used to know."
Well, he couldn't argue with that. "I ain't the boy you used to know, either. So I guess we're even."
"Even," River repeated, lifting her head. "I'd been missing you for a year when they froze me for being rebellious. They thought that with enough time, they could mold me into their desired image. Be the girl weapon, let Jayne go."
"If I'd known, I woulda gotten you out of there," Jayne growled. "All ya had to do was write me-"
"I did," she said, sadly. "They intercepted mail. First lose contact with friends, then gradually the family. Less suspicious that way."
Embarrassed, Jayne cleared his throat. "Guess I shoulda known you was in trouble if you weren't writin' to me. Shoulda known you wouldn't give up on me."
"I loved you," River said without condemnation. The hand around his wrist loosened its grip and slid downwards to his hand. "I still do."
"River," Jayne said warningly as his heartbeat nearly drowned out his words. "I ain't the way I used to be. I'm mean and bad and I'll hurt ya in the end."
"No." River shook her head. "You would never hurt me. You'd sooner hurt yourself."
"What makes you so sure?" Jayne challenged her.
"Because you love me too," River said, simply. She pressed her free hand over his pounding heart. "I hear it. You've been longing for your girl a long time and now she's back."
Jayne shut his eyes tight. "But I can't keep her."
"Why?" The tears in that one word made him open his eyes and his already battered heart ripped down the middle to see the hurt in her face. "Because I'm too young. Too crazy. Not your girl anymore."
"Past should stay in the past," Jayne said, quietly. "You deserve better'n me. I'd only let ya down."
"I've let you down many times already." She let go of his hand, let her other hand slide off of his chest. "I'm sorry."
"You got nothin' ta be sorry for, ap-"
"I'll return to my room. We reach Boros tomorrow and you'll never have to see me again." River got up off his bed and trudged sadly back to the ladder.
"Riv-"
"I've only ever loved you, Jayne Cobb." She smiled at him and it looked like it killed her almost as much as it did him. "It will be strange loving someone else. But if it's what you prefer, I'll do it."
"I just want ya to be happy," Jayne said.
She nodded. "I know. I wish the same for you."
After she left, her scent still lingered in the air and Jayne didn't sleep the rest of the night.
"I greatly appreciate what you've done for us, Captain Reynolds," Simon said to Mal, shaking his hand. "Thank you."
Mal nodded. "You're welcome. Aside from a rocky start, it's been nice havin' you Tams on board."
"Yes, I think I've found the right medication for River. She'll always have emotional scarring from whatever it was she went through but..." He trailed off and smiled at his sister with warm affection. "She'll be all right."
"You take care of this brother o' yours, River," Mal said, squeezing River's shoulder.
"He takes so much looking after," River gently teased, making both men smile.
Everyone else came forward to say their individual goodbyes, all except Jayne who lurked above on the catwalk. By his figuring, he and River had said their goodbyes last night. And while he wasn't so mad at Simon anymore for the mistakes he'd made years ago, for appearances sake he still couldn't talk to him. Would look like he was going soft if he did.
Then she and Simon were headed down the ramp and Mal was hitting the button to close the doors and Jayne couldn't take much more. He ran back to his bunk and locked it up tight, dropping down onto his bed.
Something make a crinkling sound when his backside hit the sheets and he curiously got up to find out what it was. A crisp white sheet of paper along with some old, moldy looking envelopes.
Jayne, the note read. I found these in River's file and thought you should read them. Simon.
The envelopes were addressed to him, stamped but not postmarked. They were in River's handwriting.
He ripped open the first letter and saw it was dated just after she would've arrived at The Academy. Dear Jayne, Greetings from The Academy! It's so noisy and crowded here; nothing at all like our quiet little community. I've only been gone 48 hours but I miss you terribly. I'm looking forward to your letters. Love, Your Apple Blossom.
The next letter he picked up was several months later. "Jayne, Please write back to me. I miss you. River."
The next was a few weeks after that. "I dream of you nightly. You may not want me anymore but it's not a matter of want for me. I need you. Please send me some sign that I still matter."
Jayne couldn't read the rest. He flung them away from him and bolted up out of his bunk. "Mal!!" he shouted. "Get us back on-" When he reached the catwalk again, he paused.
The group was still gathered in the cargo bay and the ramp was down again.
"Well, go on and get her, stupid," Mal said, sounding put out.
Grinning, Jayne clattered down the stairs and sprinted down the ramp onto the dock area. He looked all around frantically and some distance away spotted Simon talking with another transport captain. River stood a few feet away from her brother, holding her bag with both hands, shoulders slumped in dejection.
"River!" he bellowed, waving his arms.
She looked up in shock and a beautiful smile spread across her face when she saw him running towards her. Dropping her bag, she ran to meet him halfway.
The crowd of people had to walk carefully around the scene they were creating when Jayne swept her up in his arms to twirl her around as she giggled happily.
"Look, I know we ain't the same as we used ta be," Jayne said, panting for breath. "But whaddya say we give it a try, get to know each other again? I screwed up and let you go once and I ain't gonna make the same mistake twice."
"That sounds like a brilliant plan!" River cupped his face in her hands and kissed him hard, nearly making him drop her in his surprise. But then he recovered from his shock and kissed her back just as hard, making her moan the way she used to.
A delicate cough made them split apart and they looked up to find Simon smiling at them. "I'm guessing we're going back on Serenity?"
"You guess right," Jayne said, adjusting his hold on River. "Getcher bags 'n follow me."
The crew greeted them with smiles when they walked back on board, Jayne leading the way with a triumphant look on his face and River in his arms. "Mal," he nodded at the captain. "Got ya a medic."
"We'll be needin' one of those," Mal agreed. "You interested in the job, Tam?"
"I am."
"Shiny. You know where the infirmary is." Mal turned to say something to Jayne but the merc was already halfway up the stairs. "Jayne, you two ain't gonna... already...?"
"Got some lost time to make up for," Jayne called over his shoulder. "See ya'll in a week."
Mal made a face. "A week. He wishes. Okay, everybody, we got places ta be and people to see. Let's get this boat movin'." And he reached out and hit the button to close the door, this time for good.
< Chapter Nine : Epilogue >