toxic_corn: Summer Glau is pretty. (DW: ten - fucking SERIOUS)
[personal profile] toxic_corn
You know what I've just realized? I've been on LiveJournal for TEN YEARS. Yeah. I created the username toxic_corn when I was sixteen. I wanted it to be toxic_corn_fatality but that was too many characters. I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that I've pretty consistently been hanging out on a website for ten years. My actual ten year anniversary was two months ago but I think I deliberately forgot about it so I wouldn't feel pressured to do something stupendous as celebration.

Shit. Let's celebrate now. Okay, if you're reading this, comment snarking on what you were like at the age of 16. I'll start: I thought I was a total fattie because I weighed 147 pounds and I sneered at school clubs and groups as being "conformist." What a little asshole.

Date: 2011-08-25 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cool shit when Maybe was 16:
1. I had an xanga account before LJ. I was cool.
2. I viewed Savage Garden as the greatest band ever assembled.
3. I was all into my youth group and was aiming to date the pretty boy at the synagogue.
4. I got 36 votes for Homecoming Queen...or so I was told by the student government gay kid who told me.

Other words, I was a self righteous, prep wannabe with awesome taste in music.

Date: 2011-08-25 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I MISS SAVAGE GARDEN. Oh my god, I've been longing for mid/late '90s bands all summer and I'm not even sure why. All I know is that my longing was kicked off by the thought, "Hey, you know, Sugar Ray hasn't had a hit in a really long time." D:

But Savage Garden was always way cooler than Sugar Ray.

Date: 2011-08-25 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
When I was 16 I hated the world,especially Stuart, mocked him and his groupies, hung out with you, and Sarah, and spent a lot of time on the computer lol.

Date: 2011-08-25 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
But... his mom ate his cake and Whitney didn't love him! Stuart was such a tortured soul! Okay, so he was a complete douchebag. ;)

Date: 2011-08-25 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At sixteen I lived mostly inside my books, dreaded going to school (nothing against the teachers or classes or doing the work, but I hated having to hang around other teenagers!), and had worked out multiple ways of faking mild illness so that I could convince my mom to let me stay home 'sick' once every two weeks (which I'd worked out was the maximum I could allow myself while still keeping up my 'A' average in school and not be forced to repeat a year for lack of adequate attendance). I was dour and depressed and was thrilled to learn that my high PSAT test scores might make it possible for me to drop out of school at 17 and start college a year early.

Date: 2011-08-25 09:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*jealous* You got to leave high school early?? I wish I'd been enterprising enough to look into doing something similar. High school was awful and I can't understand the people who thought it was the best years of their lives.

Date: 2011-08-26 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
High school was awful and I can't understand the people who thought it was the best years of their lives.

I know! If those were the best years, that would be unbearably sad. I actually got hooked on Buffy because that whole "High School=Hell (literally!)" metaphor from the first season spoke to my experience of high school so deeply.

I don't know how many universities and colleges offer this opportunity, but the very good private university that was just a twenty minute drive from my home offered 'early admission' in the sense of 'don't worry about high school graduation, if you're smart enough to get really good grades on the ACT and SAT', and my father (bless him) was obsessive enough to have seen that in one of their brochures and then taken my PSAT scores to show to the director of admissions, which got her very excited and got me out of that senior year of High School. I highly recommend it, to any High School student who can find a similar opportunity!

Date: 2011-08-26 08:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I really liked that metaphor, too. I hated high school even though I was fairly well liked and had friends. I've always been a very withdrawn person and school forces you out of your shell and I resented having to interact with others in class activities and group projects. Just gimmie a worksheet and leave me alone!

Date: 2011-08-26 03:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I resented having to interact with others in class activities and group projects. Just gimmie a worksheet and leave me alone!

I am so there with you, sister (or was when I was in my teens and pretty much up until I went to seminary after college at age 21, and then forced myself to become a fake extravert for the sake of my preaching vocation).

Date: 2011-08-26 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mystic_notions
At 16 I smoked way too much pot and dropped acid with frightening regularity. I thought myself a hippy and wrote really bad poetry while high. I was introverted at school and trying to escape a shitty home life.

I also thought I was fat, I was about 125/130lbs but had large breasts & hips & I constantly compared myself to my BFF who had a very slender, almost boyish figure.

During the family summer vacation I met & made out with an American boy at a campground in South Dakota.

Date: 2011-08-26 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm sorry your teen years left so much to be desired. :( I had a womanly figure too (all chest and butt) so I felt fat even when I really wasn't. This is making me want to put together some Positive Body Image group for young girls to let them know that big boobs, no boobs, wide hips, no hips, you're perfectly lovely the way you are.

Date: 2011-08-26 01:19 pm (UTC)
From: [personal profile] mystic_notions
*hugs* The teen years kinda suck, your body is changing both physically & emotionally at a rapid rate. You have hormones racing through your system & by all accounts you are unbalanced and not getting enough sleep. Then the adults decide to lock you in a building with hundreds of people who are also hormonally unbalanced for 5 days out of the week with little supervision.

We should get badges "I survived Teenagehood"

The body image thing is way out of control & I've read stats that it's getting worse with boys as well. Society needs to start focusing on being healthy, not on a number (weight or clothing size).

Oh & congrats on 10 years! I'm only on 8 years here on lj.

Date: 2011-08-27 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At 16 I was on my own (we'd left my dad years before and my mom got remarried and left me behind, assuming someone would take care of me, which they didn't). I was doing ridiculously dangerous things such as taking a train alone to Philadelphia to meet a group of guys I befriended on the computer, and just counting on everything to be okay because I believed what they said. I didn't know how dangerous it was to be doing what I was doing. I hadn't yet learned forethought, so it wasn't until I was already in Philadelphia with no reservations or other options that I found out you have to be 18 to rent a room at a hotel.

As often happens with street kids, I wound up at the mercy of illicit substances, and I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. I never thought I'd make it to 17, to be honest. I had very little confidence and was terribly shy but that's like blood in the water among the sharks out there, so I learned at 16 to fake being an ultra-confident extrovert so people would back off and stop targeting me. I still had a lot to learn about people and was not yet listening to my intuition, so I drifted from one exceptionally dangerous situation to another. Sixteen was an eventful year. I have no idea how I survived it.

Date: 2011-08-27 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm sorry that was such a turbulent, awful time for you. Now I'm even more impressed by you since you now have a happy family life and come across as a reasonable, emotionally healthy adult. At least from what I can see. :)


toxic_corn: Summer Glau is pretty. (Default)

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